With gentle nudges I have begun to prepare myself for the new beginning of Al’s life. His clothes are ready, his photos gathered.
I have realized that these are things I can do now. Later I will not be able to make decisions so easily so it is better to help myself now.
My friend left this morning and the caregiver is gone. I heard the silence ringing in my ears. It is yet to be a memory of days to come but at this moment it is real and as I walk into Al’s room I stand quietly beside him and look down into his empty eyes and my own tears well echoing what is about to come.
I sit beside him and I watch the silent body stare into space. I reach for his hand and a tremor of life lets me know he knows I am beside him. I talk to him although he doesn’t stir, but I know he hears me.
I came back out here to the room and went over the two songs I have picked out for his funeral. It leaves a nasty taste in my mouth as I do this preparation work, but as I said before, it is better to do it now than later.
Last night I had been searching through songs on U-tube. I knew the one song already that I was going to use. It is familiar to so many. It is sung by Vince Gill. It is called Let There Be Peace On Earth.
I said a prayer as I was searching asking God to find me the perfect song. A song that would lift my brother to God. A song that would shine through in honor of how I felt and feel about him. Without hesitation God showed it to me.
I thought to myself, This is so beautiful, so perfect, it is so Al in every way.
Would you like to hear it? It is also sung by Vince Gill and called Go Rest High On The Mountain.