Is That Snow?


It’s getting hard enough to have all my hours available filled here at home to help with Al; but when the snow decides to interrupt and make things worse I just want to say grrrrr.

We had a winter storm warning in effect as of two in the morning. We were to get five to nine inches of new snow. I had just been able to see the rocks surrounding the fire pit outside and poof, it is gone.

Now…

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Amazon and My Book, Dahlia


You can now purchase my book through Amazon. I decided to take a peek and see if it was there yet, and it was. So for any of you who were waiting for it to be included at this site, now it is.

http://www.amazon.com/Dahlia-Terry-Shepherd/dp/1496115236/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1394671008&sr=8-1&keywords=Terry+Shepherd%2C+Dahlia

 

 

Dahlia front coverDahlia back cover

Is That Snow?


It’s getting hard enough to have all my hours available filled here at home to help with Al; but when the snow decides to interrupt and make things worse I just want to say grrrrr.

We had a winter storm warning in effect as of two in the morning. We were to get five to nine inches of new snow. I had just been able to see the rocks surrounding the fire pit outside and poof, it is gone.

Now beautiful, white, heavy snow lay all around. I have to admit I was lucky to not have to go out in it today. I will say seeing it on the tree branches was a sight to be admired. It did keep my caregiver from being able to come in today.

She lost power at her house. We lost power at our house.  Thankfully with Al’s illness, the use of oxygen and an air mattress placed us on the do first   to get power back on. Al just didn’t understand why his TV would not come on.

I played his favorite movie The Christmas Story. He wasn’t too happy that I was playing it at a time that was not bed time. This is where Al’s mental challenge comes in play. He is very routine and doesn’t understand changes.

Luckily we had power within the hour. The nurse from Hospice did come. There obviously is some internal damage from having to pull his old catheter out. She inserted some medication and as soon as she left he told me, ” I have a stinger in my tool.”

Now friends, I get it. Al is mentally challenged, but he is my brother. Every time he talks about his manhood and calls it his tool, I get so embarrassed and I can feel my cheeks blush. I guess I just have to get through this part and see that he was able to tell me where his pain was. I just pray that this injury does heal and when he needs a catheter change, we don’t have a replay from two days ago.

With the medications to make Al comfortable it wasn’t long before he was asleep. Hopefully, the stinging went a way. There is always an emotional battle giving Al his medications. It puts him to sleep and he doesn’t feel pain, but I am the culprit placing the medications. I guess we caregivers do what we have to do in order to bring patients to a comfort level. Nurse’s orders as they say, follow them.

It has been a quiet day per say. When no one is here I am forced to sit or get off my fanny and do something. I got up and cleaned. The house smells good. Everything is put a way. It is seven-thirty and it is still day light out thanks to the day light savings time. There is still some wind blowing. I am sure there is some drifting snow on the county roads.

I am just sick of this winter. I want to fly south like a bird and sit up at the top of a tree branch and sing to my heart’s content. I want to feel the warm breeze. I want some sun on my face. I want freedom from the house. Is this asking too much? I don’t think so. I think there are many of us here in the midwest that are as anxious for warmer weather as me. Tonight we are going to have a low of four below zero. More water dripping from the faucets. I heard from the weatherman that there could be some snow Saturday. It better be light snow, this is all I can say. Here are a few photos I was able to get today without being able to get outdoors.

snowsnow 3snow 2

Daily Prompt; If You Leave


Daily Prompt; If You Leave

DP, Daily Prompt

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?

I swear the prompts lately know my personal life. This isn’t the…

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Daily Prompt; If You Leave


DP, Daily Prompt

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?

I swear the prompts lately know my personal life. This isn’t the first one lately that the answers have been so easy. No thinking either, just writing my thoughts.

Contemplating leaving? Sure, I have done it. I do it more often. Every day I think about it. Of course it is Al leaving me and me not leaving Al. Al and me Christmas 2013 As the days dwindle down I find myself cautiously and fearful of what I will do next.

Oh I suppose there will be another soul out there that needs some help. I have repeatedly told myself I will never ever take care of a family member. But, I have also learned many valuable things during my brother’s illness.

One thing I learned quickly is not to take anything for granted. Yes, my parents and most of our extended family are now deceased. dad, bev, me and theda This makes it easy to say out loud that I will never care for family again.

No more getting so closely involved. No more around the clock care. I will do what so many other caregivers do. I will clock in and somewhere around the eight-hour I will clock out and go live my personal life for the next sixteen hours.clock

But what I learned is I get burnt when I get too cocky. When I say never, God shows me this is not in the cards. He proves to me that there is always a possibility. I ask, how? Well, he says, you do have children and grandchildren don’t you? There are still some distant family members, right?

I hang my head and say a soft yes, I guess there is, but my kids are younger than me and I am not that close to any other family. I will pass on before my kids, naturally. I have learned that I need, no I have to leave my life options door  open.

I should always be ready and willing to take on the next responsibility he gives to me. I should look outside the box and not center on myself box. Maybe illness and recovery will be in the picture. Maybe some family member will need my help temporarily.

Who knows? I can’t see the future, but I do know better to say never. God puts us here for a reason, a specific reason. When we complete his task, he either takes us home or we move on to the next task.

So sitting here at this very moment, there is a little fear about the unknown future. Yet there is going to be a huge relief that Al will no longer be in pain. I realize that all doors will be open and I will carefully look through the stained glass windows and step out in faith once again.stained glass window

I get more excited as I realize that some shut doors will now once again be opened. I will be able to go see my children that don’t leave almost next door. my kids when they were young Maybe a man will cross my path and God will help me to stop in my tracks and look up into his eyes.

Isn’t God amazing how he takes a little speck of sand like me and uses it to his full benefit. Yes, there is sadness, there is war, there are memories and there are good times. But best of all, there is the unknown, the new teachings. New thoughts and ideas explored, and best of all, I am alive. I have made it to one more day, one more feeling, one more experience, and one more chance.v_10_unsolved_mysteries_of_the_world_001_4fd4855e01ab2