Daily Prompt; If You Leave


DP, Daily Prompt

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?

I swear the prompts lately know my personal life. This isn’t the first one lately that the answers have been so easy. No thinking either, just writing my thoughts.

Contemplating leaving? Sure, I have done it. I do it more often. Every day I think about it. Of course it is Al leaving me and me not leaving Al. Al and me Christmas 2013 As the days dwindle down I find myself cautiously and fearful of what I will do next.

Oh I suppose there will be another soul out there that needs some help. I have repeatedly told myself I will never ever take care of a family member. But, I have also learned many valuable things during my brother’s illness.

One thing I learned quickly is not to take anything for granted. Yes, my parents and most of our extended family are now deceased. dad, bev, me and theda This makes it easy to say out loud that I will never care for family again.

No more getting so closely involved. No more around the clock care. I will do what so many other caregivers do. I will clock in and somewhere around the eight-hour I will clock out and go live my personal life for the next sixteen hours.clock

But what I learned is I get burnt when I get too cocky. When I say never, God shows me this is not in the cards. He proves to me that there is always a possibility. I ask, how? Well, he says, you do have children and grandchildren don’t you? There are still some distant family members, right?

I hang my head and say a soft yes, I guess there is, but my kids are younger than me and I am not that close to any other family. I will pass on before my kids, naturally. I have learned that I need, no I have to leave my life options door  open.

I should always be ready and willing to take on the next responsibility he gives to me. I should look outside the box and not center on myself box. Maybe illness and recovery will be in the picture. Maybe some family member will need my help temporarily.

Who knows? I can’t see the future, but I do know better to say never. God puts us here for a reason, a specific reason. When we complete his task, he either takes us home or we move on to the next task.

So sitting here at this very moment, there is a little fear about the unknown future. Yet there is going to be a huge relief that Al will no longer be in pain. I realize that all doors will be open and I will carefully look through the stained glass windows and step out in faith once again.stained glass window

I get more excited as I realize that some shut doors will now once again be opened. I will be able to go see my children that don’t leave almost next door. my kids when they were young Maybe a man will cross my path and God will help me to stop in my tracks and look up into his eyes.

Isn’t God amazing how he takes a little speck of sand like me and uses it to his full benefit. Yes, there is sadness, there is war, there are memories and there are good times. But best of all, there is the unknown, the new teachings. New thoughts and ideas explored, and best of all, I am alive. I have made it to one more day, one more feeling, one more experience, and one more chance.v_10_unsolved_mysteries_of_the_world_001_4fd4855e01ab2

10 thoughts on “Daily Prompt; If You Leave

  1. Terry with you heart there is no way you can not get closely involved and that is one of the things that makes you such a good caregiver.
    You do care when so many are just there for the money.
    But you are right where you have to have a balance between your own life and your job.
    Hugs sweetie and anyone who your life touches is blessed.
    Mu hubby is home from the hospital and is much better now.

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    • Oh that is such good news. I am so glad you told me. I have been wondering and hoping. Praise God! Oh, and thanks for the beautiful comment my dear friend

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  2. Terry…..your future is sure to be grand. I believe that with my whole heart. I have seen first- hand the kind of compassion and caring you have for people. Family or non-family……you will be the same. Your time is coming…….

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  3. A thought provoking blog… my sister, passed away 10 days ago of a sudden heart attack (we think or possibly a stroke, she never regained consciousness). She had been diagnosed in 2011 with MSA and was 90% confined to a wheelchair. She could take a few steps with her walker when she had a burst of energy and that is what she was doing when her heart gave out. Her husband was her primary caregiver and I was just the Sunday afternoon visitor and relief caregiver. i am going to print your article out and share with him – I think it will give him encouragement and comfort as it did me. I hated that she was taken so soon -so unexpectedly, but knowing the agony of your journey with Al and his MSA, it was probably a blessing. I pray that Al will be with the Lord soon.

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    • Thank you for a beautiful comment. My heart goes out to you for the loss you are feeling, but in a way I am jealous. My brother suffers so much, that death and heaven will be his biggest reward here on earth. God bless you and your family. If you ever need to talk, I am always here. Hugs my friend

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