Daily Archives: March 19, 2014
The Red Mask
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The Red Mask
Hiding behind the mask
Holding on for so long
I look back and see myself
Reflections of who used to be
Wanting to come forth
Yet afraid to see
Where I have walked
And my prints from yore
From the glass of the mirror
I see your eyes on mine
You…
The Red Mask
The Red Mask
Hiding behind the mask 
Holding on for so long
I look back and see myself
Reflections of who used to be
Wanting to come forth
Yet afraid to see
Where I have walked
And my prints from yore
From the glass of the mirror
I see your eyes on mine
You hold your hand out to me
I take a step in faith
You touch my cheek
You bend down
And graze my lips
I feel ice melting
As feelings come renewed
I can feel, and I taste
What life has once again to offer
I am alive and I toss
The mask aside.
Written by,
Terry Shepherd
03.19.2014
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A Long Chapter in Al’s Life
Please forgive me for repeating the topic of moaning, but it doesn’t stop. I heard Al in the wee hours of the morning and gave him some more medications. I am getting to the point that I don’t see any improvement at all with the medications, except to keep the two-week ongoing temperature down.
At the time allowed I medicated Al once again. The caregiver had been using Google to search for…
A Long Chapter in Al’s Life
Please forgive me for repeating the topic of moaning, but it doesn’t stop. I heard Al in the wee hours of the morning and gave him some more medications. I am getting to the point that I don’t see any improvement at all with the medications, except to keep the two-week ongoing temperature down.
At the time allowed I medicated Al once again. The caregiver had been using Google to search for something more specific for Al’s chronic moans. She did locate one that could possibly work but Hospice said they had never heard of it.
Actually it is a very old medicine but isn’t used much anymore with the newer medicines popping up all over. I was reading about it this morning and it should only be used for a very short time, so maybe it isn’t meant to be.
The caregiver and I do spend time trying to help find a medicine that could benefit Al, but maybe there isn’t anything out there on the market. Is it possible that he will continue this moaning and mumbling until the good Lord takes him home? I don’t know.
He is as of last evening choking and struggling to get his mouth open to take any medicine. I am not sure at times if he is even hearing me and maybe this is why his mouth doesn’t open properly.
The choking on the smallest amount of water bothers me. What happens when I give him the medicines and he can’t take the water? I can see this issue becoming a reality very soon. It breaks my heart that as I write this post, he is in his bed coughing from having his meds. Is he talking to God again? Is he in pain? I don’t know anymore. All I know, is he needs relief and I am not the one who seems to be able to give it to him. Please Lord, please help Al in any way you can.
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Amazing!
The most amazing thing happened. To some it may seem nothing or very small but to me it was big.
Al never gave up the moaning. Well, wait, he did sleep for about half an hour this evening. It was medicine time for him. I tried talking to him. I listened to his speeding heart. He got all his medications. I checked his catheter and irrigated it. I placed him on his side. I even lotioned his feet…
Who I am 