Do I Have to do This?

I don’t know what has been wrong with me the past couple of days but I have been tired and a little jittery. When I go out in public I tend to go into panic mode. I find myself wanting to go go home where I am safe;even though I accepted the invitation to go to an outing.

I find a few of those dizzy spells are coming back. Sleep helps. Last night I actually went to bed by 9. I don’t think I have done that in years. After chatting on Facebook I actually turned out the lights and went to sleep.

I woke up at 2am. I watched TV for a few minutes then went back to sleep. I woke up at 6:30 this morning still feeling tired. I figure I had too much sleep now. I am a little on edge already. It upsets me. I want to just shake it loose. I want to smile and giggle.

Maybe knowing a lady is coming here at 9 this morning is the culprit. She is cominng to ask questions about Al and how he died. I was told she had to do this according to State laws so Al can be considered legally gone from this earth and his case can be permanently closed.

Permanently closed? Deceased and gone? Case closed? I put her off already for a couple of days but now I have to do this. I wish I did not have to endure this alone. It makes me feel like I am preparing to go to his funeral again. Well guess I will finish my coffee and go take a shower.Image

27 thoughts on “Do I Have to do This?

  1. Be string Terry …. It will be ok. Humans and their laws! The can be senseless. Breathe, deep breathing ….. I think it’s all the process of adapting.
    Tight hugs my friend ….


  2. I’ve never heard of such a thing. Wasn’t there a death certificate? Why are they questioning you–because you were his caregiver? My word, this seems intrusive and cold to me. Of course the case is closed–the man is in heaven! Good grief. All right, my little rant is now over. I’ll be praying for you today, Terry, as always.


  3. Terry, I don’t understand why they have to drag everything up again – ask questions about his how he died???? But different rules in every country I suppose. The doctor that pronounced him dead – have all that on paper – death certificate. .
    I would just take it on now and get it all done – so you can put this part of your lost behind you. You can do it – you have showed how strong you’re when it comes to it.
    I can understand that you don’t want to be doing it alone .. can’t you ask a neighbor to sit in with you.
    Been thinking of you so much !!!!!


  4. Sometimes technicalities can seem so insensitive. Hope all goes as well as can go considering what the visit is for. Try some deep breaths to lessen the tension – A few yawns & stretches too.
    Hang in there. With you in spirit!


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