Am I Losing My Marbles?


I wore a lighthearted post a few minutes ago. Now I will be a little more serious. I don’t know what is happening to me. I am not terribly scared over it; but I am becoming alarmed.

Dropping things constantly. Items just fall away from my fingers. Forgetting things and being anxious or confused. Today, for example.

I had to take AJ to the beauty salon at 11 am to drop him off. From there I had to get a baby shower gift for my daughter-n-law. We are going to be having another addition to the family in about a  month. A big, baby girl, bundle of joy.

I also had to mail my book, Dahlia to four bloggers that had requested it. I also mailed my daughter’s birthday gift out. Her birthday is the 15th and I doubt she will be up here for that.

After that I had to go to the bank, then went to meet a  lady to pick-up an item I wanted. Finally, I stopped by Taco Bell and grabbed some lunch, then off to pick-up AJ.

Not really a terrible list of things. All in general area of driving. While at the bank I forgot to place the disability tag on my mirror. When I came out of the bank ten minutes later there was a yellow paper on my window.

Looking at it I was surprised. I had been ticketed $50.00 for parking in a handicapped area with no tag. I almost broke down in tears. I had never received a ticket in my life. I got in the car and cursed myself for forgetting to place the tag in view.

I didn’t know what to do. Fifty dollar is a lot of money that I didn’t really have to spend. I drove down to the police station and went through the double doors. A nice looking lady was sitting behind the glass shield.

I started to explain my temporary sanity I seem to have anymore and then I broke down into tears. I explained about my brother passing away recently, and then she offered me some tissue and said she would ask the officer if these charges could be dropped.

She said someone would call me. Knowing I have heard those words before I didn’t think too much about it. I concentrated more on  how I was going to get that money. While picking out the baby shower gift my cell phone rang.

It was the officer. He explained he had been told my circumstances and waived the charge and dropped the ticket. I told him thank-you for being so understanding and then hung up.

I thanked God for saving me, but I am concerned on why I seem such a ditz anymore. People tell me things and then later will bring it up and I have no idea what they are talking about.

They try to rattle my brain by reminding me of when and where they told me, but I don’t remember. The dropping of things, and constant marbles in my head are making me begin to wonder if I am getting Parkinson’s Disease like my father, his mother, and her sister had.

I hope not, I pray I don’t, for I live alone and I would not be able to do that forever. I am almost too afraid to pray about it; for fear Satan will get a hold of it and toy with me.

 

https://terry1954.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/27483/

 

marbles

28 thoughts on “Am I Losing My Marbles?

  1. Ah, bless you, Terry. It certainly sounds to me as if the stress of recent times has overwhelmed you. When we get over-clogged with thoughts (and especially in a sub-conscious level) it’s as if our brains aren’t engaging the way they normally do. I don’t think you need to worry about this. Just my thoughts; sending prayers and blessings your way, dear. Hugs, Cher xo

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  2. Terry, I believe that this is simply the result of the grief you are still processing. Your conscious mind can only contain so much at a time, and you have had an overabundance of things filling your mind for a long time now. I think you’ll find that in time your recall will return. Don’t be overly concerned or that may make things worse. Sometimes the harder we try to remember something the more elusive the thing becomes. Just relax in God’s arms and let the grief take its course. I’m praying and I know many others are too. God does answer prayer. God bless.

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    • Thanks Diane. I so don’t want to get Parkinson’s but I know I have a much bigger chance. I hope this goes away soon as you state. Hugs my friend. Did you like my book?

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      • Definitely liked your book. It looks really good. Now I need to get busy on mine, but I’m not sure which one to do first. That has put me at a standstill so nothing is getting done. Oh, well, some day. 🙂

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      • I am slowly working on Al’s MSA book. Many are requesting it. I am glad you liked the looks of my book. You have so many different things going on all the time, I am surprised you can sit at the computer for ten minutes. LOL

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  3. You are in the midst of the grieving process. It makes you forget, be weak, be scattered and addled. Cut yourself some slack. This is the storm after the calm. Your body and spirit are adjusting to the new reality you have to live with. Breathe, some pink, purple and orange. Add all kinds of orange things to your life, colors, clothes, pictures, flowers, all kinds of orange. It will help to balance the overload of grief energy out. Sending you calm and steady energy.

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    • Thanks dear friend. I just painted my bedroom pink and I got a new orange print flowered shirt for summer. I shall wear it tomorrow. You are such a big help. Hugs

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    • I always looked at myself as being a very organized person. For me to forget or be anxious or confused is not like me. I didn’t think I was doing that much. Just helping out the elderly neighbor, learning about AJ, and trying to move on, but maybe I am wrong. Maybe I am mourning still as others have stated

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    • Oh I hope so. I have helped so many by making their lives better while ill. I don’t want to be the one who need looking after. Hugs and thank you

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  4. No, I counted the marbles , yes they are all there! 🙂 I also believe you are still stressed through what you went through and it will ease off. Stop worrying as that does not help. Take each day as it comes, and enjoy AJ. I also made a big mistake at work and have to sort it out… I can’t believe I did that and had to grovel to have it changed. I do hope it is not too late. I am not getting stressed about it as I admit making the mistake, I am on ly human and have lots of work. I just have to deal with it. I set the balls rolling to correct it.
    So take it easy please Terry and get enough rest!

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  5. dear Terry, your symptoms are perfectly normal for a person in grief. Add to that all the work you did for your brother and know that the brain gets tired form that kind of work. Then add my “comfort piece of knowledge”, the mind is able to process only seven thoughts at once, and, here the thing, it decides on itself what has to go! To you, and any other in your situation, grieving takes up most of that space, so relax! Nobody knows what in store for us, we might loose our marbles, but you still have yours. They just do not want to be part of a game just now! Love, Solveig

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  6. Just a lot on your mind & that happens. Take your deep breaths & try to slow down. I know easier said than done – been there. But – you will get into your groove soon. 😉
    So – nice of them to drop the charge on the ticket.
    {Hugs}

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  7. Oh Terry, yes with you it is likely the stress and grief. With me it is “old age” watch out your time for that is coming also. Get yourself some tablets or sticky notes to write lists and reminder notes for yourself. This will get you in practice for when “old age” hits you. Not meaning to make too light of it but give yourself some breathing room and some of that care you were showering on Al.

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  8. Terry, if you were my client I would urge you to go see your doctor. Then I would tell you that I believe these symptoms are also often the result of stress, grief, and exhaustion. Still, take care of the physical possibilities, and then please give yourself a break and accept that you are still grieving, still stressed, still recovering from a long, hard and traumatic experience.

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  9. When we go from spending 24/7 in the intense world of being a caregiver to someone we love, their life consumes us.
    When they have passed it takes a while to return to our own lives and I do not believe we ever totally return to who we were before.
    Give yourself time.

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  10. totally agree with all of the fellow bloggers…just a little overload…we all do it when we have been stressed…and PLEASE…don’t start worrying about YOU having this ailment…That cannot be good for you!…Wear your orange and be happy!

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  11. it seems perfectly understandable that you are a bit rattled. you have been through so much and now have to adjust to a new life. when you feel that numbness try taking deep breaths. all to often we aren’t breathing and so there is not enough oxygen going to the brain and to the extremities. there is also just some general forgetfullness that comes with age, i can relate to this:) sending big hugs and love to you my friend.

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