I have refused to be on my blog today. I was fine this morning but I turned on myself this afternoon. I went outside and tore open my shed door and rearranged everything in there to try to mend my mind.
It helped for a while but then the nasty part of me returned. I wanted to cry.
I wanted to see my brother.
I felt all screwed up, feelings going this way and that way.
I have hated myself and cut me down to the size of nothing. I have worked hard to see the beauty of the day today by taking a couple of photos.
I want to fly away.
Today, is the worst day I have had. I want to, I want to, oh I don’t know what I want. I just want Al to be here tomorrow to be with me for Mother’s Day. I am tired of hurting. I want to turn the clock back.
I want to turn the dark flower to a pink and beautiful rose, like my life once was.