Who’s The Killer?

I was sitting in a parking spot, looking over my hair and face before going inside for an appointment. I looked around, just being nosy, to see if there was anyone I recognized and I saw this nice van sitting beside me.

Nothing special, just navy blue, looked like it is always kept in a garage type of clean. But what got me was a sign in the window. Now this was just an ordinary sign you can buy at any variety store. It was the words that got my attention.

It said, Beware, wife buried in trunk. Now first off, there is no trunk in a van. So I breathed a short sigh of relief on that part.  I glanced around the parking lot as if I was waiting for the butcher to come get in the monster beside me.

I didn’t see anyone who looked  like they may have killed their wife, but who knows what killers look like? Do they have a TM symbol on their forehead? I doubt it.

I clutched my cell phone and my legs tensed up. Should I call the police? Should I get out of the car or wait a few extra minutes? After all I am usually always early by a few. I sat there, barely breathing.

Eyes searching left to right without turning my head. I noticed inside the lady I was to meet was tapping her foot and pointing to her watch. She was wondering where in the world the lady was she was to meet with.

Right here, right here inside me car. Don’t you see me? Can’t you see that i am in a terrible situation right now? Can’t you read the fear in my eyes?

She didn’t seem to notice as she began to pace back and forth on that dull, gray carpet. I choked on my own lack of spit as I realized I had not breathed in seconds. Taking a deep breath I inhaled and licked my lips.

The lady inside was looking out one window and then another. She spotted me. Oh my gosh lady. I am not late. Please realize there is a killer near the two of us. Any moment he is going to come out those doors. He is going to realize by looking at my pale face that I know his secret.

She leaned in a little and recognized that I am the one she is waiting for. She taps her watch face and I can see the formed words on her lips saying, get in here. I want to be able to go to lunch on time.

I slowly put my cell in my purse. Taking the keys out of the ignition I drop them softly inside with my cell. I glance around trying not to let the lady realize that I am a big chicken, too afraid of who may get me.

I take a hold of the car door and start to release it to open when a man in a black suit  comes out of the door. He is walking towards me. He gets to the van and he hesitates a moment. He sees my big eyes and my ghost face.

He grabs a hold of his stomach and laughs just like Santa Claus would. I stare at him, my mind going blank.

He comes near me, and then before I know it he is right beside me. He taps on my window. I open the door a smidge waiting to see what it is he wants. He points to the sign in the back of the van window.

” Is that what you are scared about young lady? Don’t be frightened. The kids at my church are always pulling pranks on me. I get used to it. I used to scold them for being so ornery but then I discovered that things like this give me an opportunity to get to know  people and invite them to our church.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and a small grin came over my face. I got out of the car and the two of us shook hands and introduced ourselves. He told me what church he was minister over  and I explained I was late for a job interview.

This was thirty years ago. My husband and I still laugh at this when we think back to the days of how we met.