Second Opinion


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I suppose I am no different from some. I can look back and see mistakes I have made. Some mistakes will never be forgotten. I have emotionally kicked myself, and I am one of those who will forgive another but save myself for last.

So when it came to moving away from my home town, it was a real tough decision. Back and forth I went. My head felt like a spinning top at times.top I would discuss my worries with my children, and then turn to my best friend. I always got a different opinion from each person.

I realized that no matter which way I decided I was going to let someone down or hurt someone’s feelings. Restless nights started to become familiar. Waking moments were spent in confusion and being tired and a lack of smiles.

I tossed over and over with the fact that I was leaving Al behind. At the time I could not see clear that I wasn’t leaving him at all. My memories would never fade, my love would continue on, and the most important factor was and still is; to recognize that he isn’t here at all, he is in heaven.

I wanted to please my kids and myself. I just didn’t know what to do or where to turn. I had no one else to ask advice from. I wanted to desperately have some living person tell me what decision I should make, and of course those close to  me would not do that. Each knew that the one who had to make the final decision had to be me.

I was laying in bed not really paying attention to the program on TV when a light bulb came on. I did have a chance at a second opinion. I did have every ability to put all my faith in the answer I would receive.

God, yes, let’s ask God. I can remember smiling to myself when this idea entered my mind. I had gone to every living soul, but had never asked God, which I should have done first.

My prayer was pretty simple. Jesus, I am so confused. I don’t want to hurt my best friend. I don’t want to hurt my children. I don’t want to make another gigantic mistake in my life. I have made too many. So I am asking forgiveness for coming to you last. Thank-you for reminding me to seek you answers. I want to move for various reasons but I don’t know if it is a good idea. I don’t want to hurt anyone but I have to do what is best for me. Please help me, show me and guide me to the path I should take. If I am to move and because I am so blind to see and recognize it is you speaking to me and not my own flesh desires, let me see I am heading in the right direction. Amen.

After that everything started to fall into place. Although I feel sadness and will feel this big time as I pull  out of my driveway, I know that God is directing me. I feel confident that everything will work out and I will be alright, because God showed me the facts. What was my second and last opinion, should have been the first.

18 thoughts on “Second Opinion

  1. It was there in your heart all along, it just takes asking the right person to brush away all the confusion and show you the way. I think you asked the right person in the end and He won’t mind being last.

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    • Thanks Brian, but you know our human side, we think we can do it all. Now I just have to work each day to change that nasty habit, and let him lead the way. Hugs

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  2. Pingback: second opinion | eastelmhurst.a.go.go

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