I am watching this movie on Hallmark called, Stalked at 17. It is a good movie; but then again most of this station’s movies are.
It brings a lot of thoughts to my mind. A college age guy has a relationship that is fairly new when he impregnates her. Of course she is only 17. I think back to those days when I was that age and even earlier when I had feelings for boys.
It didn’t matter what family said, if I was in love, I was in love. I didn’t get pregnant at that early of an age, but in ways I understand how this happened between the two. A young lady wants to believe all the love-sick words that are whispered in her ear.
Of course there are those rare instances where life does work out between young people, but most of the time it doesn’t. I believe that a male and a female at this age want to prove they are worthy of love, and being loved and want to belong. They want something or someone that belongs totally to them.
Now that I am older, I can see clear the hardship that can be placed on the parents, the child and the grandparents. Many times today parents are bringing up their children’s children.
To make this movie more intense, the adult male is also messed up emotionally. He wants to belong so bad to someone. His mother is an alcoholic and is serving a number of years in prison for drug abuse. He has missed out on the love only a parent can provide.
It doesn’t really say how he has raised himself the past several years but it makes it seem like he raised himself from a teen forward. Once she tells her boyfriend she is pregnant, you can instantly for a short moment see the anger in his face. He changes quick to the happiest to-be dad and the two plan their lives together. I won’t go any further, in case you want to see this movie.
My thoughts are what would you do in this situation? Would you forbid your teen to see the father to be? Would you go so far as to get a restraining order? Would you threaten your teen to have an abortion? Would you consider booting her out of the family home?
What if you were the parents of the father to be? Would you force him to stand up and take it like a man? Would you consider driving the two teens as far apart as possible? Would you kick him out of the house?
Today, compared to when I was a teen, there have been many changes in how we look at teen pregnancy and how our teens act towards each other. When I was a teen, there was a certain fear of God that my parents placed in my head, that having sex was wrong unless you were married.
I am not saying I always obeyed their rules, I had boyfriends; but that fear of what my parents would do to me stood stronger than my so-called love for a guy when it came to undressing and laying with him.
There was no way I would even consider having relations with a guy when first meeting him. I got more excited about holding hands, love letters, or sitting close to each other, and of course that special kiss.
Today from what I have been asked by dating sites, it must be a common thing to have sexual relations on a first date. I still can not do this. I must have feelings for the guy and they don’t appear after a few dates. I guess I am old-fashioned?
The good thing today is there is no more hiding about ways to prevent pregnancy. Condoms are passed out freely. Classes are taught on what it details of being a young mommy or daddy.
The bad things that haven’t changed is that we we are humans. We are still feeling the urges. We still have needs. Sad to say, the heat of the moment can block the brain of putting a condom on. Birth control pills have to be taken regularly and not only when it is thought of.
Like I said earlier, there is much to think about when parents find out their children are becoming parents. I asked you earlier, what would you do if your kids came and told you they were going to have a baby?
I have an 18 year old son and a 14 year old daughter and although I hope that I will not have to deal with such a situation, I would like to believe that if it does happen, that through prayer and communication with all, that I would try to do what is best for the child. That child should not suffer because people cannot figure out what the “Right” thing to do is
I love your answer. I think it is how God would want you to handle it. Thank you for sharing with me
What a great, thought-provoking post. You are able to look at a difficult issue with great empathy and wisdom. I was luck enough to never have that pressure in my life growing up and even now.
Thank you very much Ann. There are no teens that do not have a lot of good in them. It is sometimes not thinking about the consequences or thinking it won’t happen to them. They are teens and we should realize that they are teens and not adults. We all make mistakes. Thank you for your comment. I enjoyed reading it.
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Terry, I did go through this with my daughter, and it was a very painful time for both of us. And yet, God gave me wisdom in the midst of the storm. Therefore, instead of getting angry with her, I was able to shower God’s love on her. I told her that her sin was in having sex outside of marriage, and that her pregnancy was not the sin. Furthermore, this child that she carried was not a punishment from God for her sins. For the wages of sin is death, not the LIFE, which she carried in her womb.
This was one of the most difficult times of her life, and yet, because she loves the Lord, He was able to take these tragic circumstances caused by her sin, and make something good from it. He used the birth of this precious child to change my daughter’s heart for the better, as she now was responsible for the well-being of her daughter. Where she used to think only of herself, like so many teens and adults do, now she was a mother, and she had to place her infant’s well-being above her own desires.
Pregnancy outside of marriage truly is difficult, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. If you love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and give Him first place in your life, He will make ALL things work together for good – even an unplanned pregnancy.
God bless you,
I love, love your comment. God does more work that we see in difficult times. Your comment proves this. While my brother was so ill, I grew closer to God. Even with Al gone today, God is still my rock. I trust him to bring me through everything. Thank you for sharing your comment with me. I enjoyed reading it very much. Hugs my friend and thank you for being a good mom.
I always thought that you can only have sex when you really love someone…… but I realized that sex has nothing to do with love but more with lust. Well, we need to make that clear to our children and nowadays there is enough protection around to choose from that youngsters should not be caught with the “oops” it happened. They need education!
Yes, sex education needs to come out of the closet. It is happening and we need to help guide them through their personal decisions. We need not get upset if we never spent the time educating if they come to us with that oops
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Every now and then, I work with a situation in which the girl is pregnant, the father’s parents won’t let him have anything to do with the mom or the baby, the mother’s parents are faced with rearing another child. Very few happy endings, but it does happen.
Yes, I think from my own uninvolved view that maybe the boy’s parents won’t let him be involved because they are hoping out of sight will help with out of mind? Of course that isn’t reality, but I think all parties must get scared of responsibilities