That’s Absurd/ The Daily Post Challenge

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The Challenge

For this week’s writing challenge, introduce a sense of magic or absurdity into your post.

• Write a fictional piece that incorporates the everyday life we’re familiar with — work, family, errands — and add a surprise twist through an imaginary character, absurd turn of events, or Sci-Fi-esque setting.
• We all know that sometimes life itself is a bit nonsensical. Tell us a story when you were going about your own business and something completely ridiculous or inexplicable happened. What did you do, and how did you react?
• Tap into your inner child and conjure up some of the magic you experienced in your childhood. When I was a kid, I was convinced that I could fly and wouldn’t let anyone tell me otherwise. What improbably hopeful dreams did you have?

It was a common day filled with getting the kids off to school, kissing my husband as he rushed out the door. I could do this in my sleep as the routine had been established years back when we started our family.

It’s a good thing too because my mind was filled with so much more these past days. Don, my husband wanted to take a separate vacation this year. He loved to golf and there was a huge tournament coming up that he had pleaded with me to go along and watch.

Not my cup of tea, I said to him every time he brought the subject up. It was late enough now that my gut was hurting, I had a few more  headaches than usual. What was I going to do? I would have to take the kids along, which eliminated those nice visions of lazing on the sunny beaches, being waited on by handsome jocks.

The house was quiet so I rid myself of night-clothes and got dressed. Slapping some make-up on I got my list of errands I had to run. Waving to the snoopy neighbor next door who seemed to use watering her flowers to keep an eye on the neighborhood, I got in my car and took off.

I was driving down the open highway getting ready to take the ramp which would bring me into town when a little fairy appeared on the empty seat beside me. I almost went off the ramp as I blinked twice knowing I was seeing things.

” Hey honey, I hear where you are coming from. Don’t want your hubby to take that separate vacation. Afraid he will see someone more sexy? Well, I suggest you put away those doughnuts and start putting on those weights and do some heavy-duty workouts”.

” Umm, who the hell are you and what right do you have to tell me how I look or how I should live. Of course I am not worried about Don looking elsewhere. We have been married to long and we still have sex once a week”.

The fairy shrugged her shoulders and let out a cackle that made me want to reach over and slap her silly.  ” Hey, I just knew  I  have heard enough. Your conscience is on over-kill so I wanted to get this taken care of before you ruined my own time off”.

” Go on” I said.

” Well it seems to me he wants to play golf because the bloody man finds humor in chasing balls around a big green pasture and you want to ditch your kids for a much-needed break but you know you can’t. So what if I can make you both happy. Would you like that?”

I shook my head in affirmation and let her continue on. ” Let me make it easy on you. I will send a  coach for you and the kiddies made out of that beach ball in the back seat. I will send it promptly at midnight. It will be pulled by six white horses which I shall use those sticky, opened suckers laying on the back seat. For a driver I shall drone  your husband and he will be the vision that you have of him on those sexy nights you have. I will give the kiddies an invisible fence like they use for dogs and they shall be able to play and run in the sun. For you, I shall give you your own servant for your entire trip. He will look like the guy on that nudie magazine you were looking at earlier this week. You know which one, the one where you kept telling your husband you were just taking a little longer bathing because you wanted to soak”?

I turned my face away from her for just a second as I now knew that my thoughts were not really private. I glanced back at her and was missing some of the conversation she had been saying. ” So lady, how does that sound? Everyone gets their wishes. Everyone has fun”.

” It sounds amazing, but can you really do that?”  ” Consider it done”. With a snap of her wand on the top of my nose, she disappeared. I felt calmer, lighter and realized I had to pee real bad now. I stopped at the first business I had to visit and upon entering the front doors asked, ” Do you have a bathroom? I have to go real bad”.