Well, me moving is a reality as of today. I no longer own my home. The new buyers do and have allowed me to stay here until next Friday. It feels strange, giving up a home where there are so many memories. The memories aren’t wonderful though and for this I am grateful to be out of here very soon.
Memories of seeing Al walk through here with his cane. The day he fell into the Christmas tree. Remembering back to last year around this time when Al told me he would not be here at Christmas, so I brought Christmas to him by putting the tree up very early. My heart is breaking as I realize the things that I remember are not pretty.
Caregivers, hospital beds, Hospice, many hours of little sleep and the worst, going in and discovering he was gone. For these memories I weep. Leaving the sadness behind will be a major step in my healing process. I don’t like being sad all the time. It really brings me down and helps me to remain in bed much longer.
With me, I shall take every good memory of him and all the fun times we had in those years when he was feeling better. Last night I gathered all of my paperwork so it would be in easy reach this morning. I picked out my clothes and then I laid down to sleep only to discover that wasn’t going to be an easy task. Now I am tired and after I finish this writing I am laying down. As tonight I will need to be wide awake for this will be my last time with the girls going to the Moose.
I was to meet the new owners at the courthouse. When I began to walk the long steps to the front door I noticed some beautiful Russian Sage flowers. Upon entering I stood for a moment and admired like I always have the floors of the interior. I love checkered floors. I decided to take some photos of my last trip.
We finished our business and now I am a visitor in my own home until next Friday. Another chapter of my book of life is complete. Now I am opening a new page that is blank but with pen in hand, I am ready to fill the pages.