I was watching a video my daughter-in-law made of my youngest granddaughter on Facebook just now. She is trying so hard to say mama and Dada, but squeals of delight come out of her mouth and her smile is so big.
All of a sudden I felt wet tears stroll down my cheeks. I realized that I will struggle to hold the new babies in the family when I see them next. I was already having issues holding the second youngest grandson before I left my home town.
I tried to blame it on the fact that little E. is such a big boy, but the truth is, each week I get a little less stable. It doesn’t take much walking for my entire leg muscles to start quivering inside and the next thing they do is make me feel like I am going to fall.
Picking up little ones and trying to hold them is not going to be safe for them nor me. I will have to go back to the way we let young children hold their baby siblings; on their laps.
I hate it. I am not feeling sorry for myself. I have lots of life still in me, but I can’t deny that things are changing for me. It makes me cry to think that one day I may become a problem to my family.
I never want this Parkinson’s to get to the place I can’t take care of myself. I don’t want to believe that my children are pondering on what to do with mom. I always joked when the topic of getting old came up before, stating that people could just toss my ass in a nursing home.
After being so closely involved with Al’s care those six months in the nursing home, I don’t wish it on me or anyone else in this world. I know, nursing homes are a blessing to some, but for me, I see it as an end of life. A way of marking off the calendar of how many days I have left to live.
Sounds stupid and sad doesn’t it? I guess I have been working in nursing homes way too long. There are good ones but there are many bad ones. The care can be adequate and state approved, or if you have an abundance of funds, you can get a top-notch one.
No matter what, I don’t want to dwell on the what ifs, but when I see the little ones in my family, I know that there are many years between them and me. I can’t complain about anything.
I have great kids. I had a great marriage at one time. I have a roof over my head and food on the table. I just don’t want to stop yet. I am not ready to deal with anything that may slow me down.
There is so much life out there to live yet. Books to write, words to say, photos to take. I will continue to move forward as long as God allows me to, I will survive.
The other day I made a post about Marijuana, pain pills, and natural alternatives. Since that day I have been contacted by a very nice lady named Judy Cohen. She works with the American Recall Center.
Half of her job is educating individuals on recall updates. The other half is connecting with individuals to help spread awareness online. I find the work that she does is outstanding.
The goal?
The American Recall Center provides drug and medical device recall information alongside practical healthcare information and support. They aim to build the most comprehensive resource on the Internet for timely and trusted material regarding healthcare topics that matter to the consumer. The team at ARC is dedicated to helping consumers find accurate information with ease.
We, the patients go to our professionals but did you know you have choices? We listen to what they say but many times we believe and do not ask questions. I felt very honored to be asked to be a part of this team to let others know that we all need to talk about our medicines along with helping to spread the word of American Recall Center.
Here is a link that I am providing to you so that you may better understand what this is all about. If I can help in any way about questions you may want to write down to ask your provider, please ask me or contact Judy Cohen.
I also want to share with you the latest report on a new medication that is available to you. The title is called:
XARELTO® is a prescription medicine used to reduce the risk of stroke and blood clots in people with atrial fibrillation, not caused by a heart valve problem. For patients currently well-managed on warfarin, there is limited information on how XARELTO® and warfarin compare in reducing the risk of stroke.
XARELTO® is also a prescription medicine used to treat deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism, and to help reduce the risk of these conditions occurring again.
XARELTO® is also a prescription medicine used to reduce the risk of forming a blood clot in the legs and lungs of people who have just had knee or hip replacement surgery.
Thank-you dear friends for stopping by my post and taking the time to read this.
once again a mainstream program, 60 minutes, has approached the subject of death with dignity all too briefly.
the following is a brief conversation between the reporter anderson cooper and barbera mancini. the conversation started with the discussion about brittany maynard, a young woman with a brain tumor that moved to oregon in order to end her life with dignity:
A young woman with brain cancer named Brittany Maynard made news recently when she spoke about her decision to end her life rather than succumb to the last ravages of her disease. Maynard moved to Oregon because it has a law that enables terminally ill people to obtain a lethal dose of barbiturates.
Whether doctors and caregivers should be allowed to help someone like Maynard hasten her own death is the subject of a long-running, state-by-state battle. Our story tonight is about a woman who was prosecuted for allegedly helping…
Such a true statement coming from the older generation…
Oh, no!… that’s me!…
lived this!
www.butterbin.com
Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.
The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my earlier days.” The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment …for future generations.”
She was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day. Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were truly recycled. But we didn’t…
Rich was a junior in high school. He had parents that were well-known in the small community. His mom was a nurse at the local hospital. His father was an estate attorney.
Rich always carried a bit too much flare when it came to his confidence levels. He knew he was popular. He knew his looks were better than most guys in his class. He wore the best clothes, the newest shoes.
But what lacked in Rich was the caring attitude that we so desperately need in this world. He was a ME guy. Everything he did and thought of was within the circle of his eyes.
It was nearing Halloween. A group of his friends were tossing ideas around on what tricks they could pull off without getting caught. After several talks they decided to soap and toilet paper the minister’s home.
Rich had his eye on Darlene, the minister’s daughter for months. She was a knock-out. Curvy little body, long blonde hair, sky-blue eyes. The problem was, Darlene wouldn’t give Rich the time of day.
He would leave notes at her locker. He had flowers sitting on her front window of her car. He had even taken the time to go to the store and buy her the most expensive card he could find and mail it to her. Nothing worked. He could have charmed the pants off a frog easier than he could get Darlene to look his way.
The night before Halloween, the group of guys went shopping for the soap and toilet paper. With all supplies bought, he anxiously awaited darkness to arrive Halloween night.
The guys gathered at the local burger joint. After eating they got in their cars and parked in the downtown public parking area. They put their black masks and gloves on and started towards the minister’s home.
There they stood, all silenced, excitement racing through their blood, scoping out the property. A rustling could be heard within the trees. No one took notice as it was a fall evening and there was a breeze that made you want to grab for your jacket.
Each one started taking one step closer to the front porch. As they approached they saw the big oak tree that during a hot summer day would provide ample shade. They got their toilet paper out and started tossing it up in the air. Before long it looked like long, white icicles were streaming from the roof top.
They covered their mouths to quiet the rumbles of laughter as they stood back and admired the work they had performed. Proud of their performance, a few of them sneaked around to the side of the house. They soaped the windows until no one could see either in or out of them.
Rich hung back as he wanted to be the sole person to soap Darlene’s car. He took the two bars of soap out of his pants pockets and walked towards her car. With one bar in his hand he started decorating her side windows as if he was an infamous painter.
He did both sides and the back window. Walking towards the front window he heard the rustling of the tree leaves again. This time it was a much rougher sound and it caused him to stop in his tracks and look up towards the skies.
At that precise moment, a creature jumped from the trees. It pounced on him so hard it knocked him to the ground. He immediately covered his face with his hands to protect himself.
He tried screaming out for help to his friends, but no sounds were to be heard. Two huge wings covered his body and whisked him up in the two, giant claw feet and carried him off to a tree down the street.
The creature let loose of her hold on him and he dropped gently in a pocket of branches. ” So, I hear you want to meet me. I have felt your stares through my clothes. I can hear your mind letting me know that you want nothing more to do with me than to get my clothes off and make a score you can brag to your friends about.”
Rich opened his eyes and looked up into piercing blue eyes. He could pick out the familiar sounds of Darlene’s voice, but this voice was ragged. A scary and lulling voice that make him want to pee his pants right there.
He started to say something. Anything that would help him escape the claws of this creature, but she leaned into him and covered his mouth with her beak. Forcing his mouth open she breathed a terrible taste into him.
It made him feel instantly dizzy, light-headed. He was scared. He tried to wiggle his way out from under her, but she had the wings of super powers. He tried once again to scream for his buddies, but his mouth became dry and frozen.
Darlene flipped him over on his stomach and started picking at his hair with that sharp beak. Within a few minutes she had picked him clean. He felt his head and tried to scream as he discovered he was totally bald.
She poked him over and over on all sides of his neck, leaving large welts. He looked worse than any Frankenstein anyone had ever seen. She flipped him back to his back side and picked at his forehead. She picked until she had opened an area wide enough to see part of his skull and brain.
She ate a small part of him and then blew in some hot liquid out of her nostrils. With pieces of fine twigs and leaves she sewed him back together, like a newly formed nest. She picked him up, and flew him back to where her car was and dropped him down on the ground.
” I hope you enjoyed meeting me face to face Rich. I doubt you will ever forget this Halloween. In fact, I am pretty sure you will not even remember the Rich you once knew. For you will never walk the halls of school with an attitude that you are all that and more. You will coward in the halls, you will duck into the bathrooms. You will sit in the back row of classes. You will learn a lesson that not even your parents could ever teach you.”
With that, she flew back up into her tree, waiting for the next victim.
Who I am 