We all have our little quirks don’t we? Most of the time we don’t realize them until someone points them out, or we are out of our home and we realize we aren’t following our routine.

Some have coffee before that first cigarette. Others let their pets out to potty. Some even check Facebook before their feet hit the ground from the bed. Yes, we all have something that is part of our personality.

My one thing I have issues with is medicine. I was diagnosed with Diabetes about 33 years ago. If anyone is a diabetic, you probably remember the adjustment time. Trial and error of different medications until the doctor is satisfied that at this point this amount of pills and doses are set.

That happened to me too, but I was given too strong of medications for a little over a week. What happened is I would be out running errands or taking a walk and my sugar would bottom out. I remember one time I passed out in front of a store. God was with me because the owner of that store came out to me and asked me if I was a diabetic and when I responded yes he took care of the problem right away. Yes, there are certain signs that others can read when diabetics are getting to an unsafe number.

Ever since that time I have had a phobia about new medications. As long as I am taking something that I have had before, I am real good. If you give me something different I have never tried I can go into a panic attack fairly easy.

I used to have my daughter close by and when I started a new pill she would stay with me for a couple of hours, but for the last several years I haven’t put my big-girl panties on all the way. I get them half-way pulled up and blow it.

I can sometimes cut the pill and make the start this way. Other times I can get the pill up to my lips and feel my body go completely hot and chicken out. I get so mad at myself but no matter how angry I get I don’t get past it.

Now, today I am seeing a brand new doctor for the first time since I have moved to Kentucky. In the back of my mind I am sweating it out. I am wondering if this doctor will be understanding and see things from my view, or if he will literally laugh out loud.

In the past I had a doctor who I frequented for about six months. On one particular visit she informed me that she was dismissing me from her list of patients on the grounds that she gave the instructions and I wasn’t following. Once again the issue was on taking new medications I had not had. She flat-out told me she was the doctor, I was the patient. I didn’t have the badge, she did.

There is not a big choice of doctors in this small town that my medical insurance takes so I am hoping this new doc and I hit it off.


16 thoughts on “Phobias

  1. The thing is Terry, if the doctor has something better for you and you don’t take it … it is your health, in the end, it is your choice. But wouldn’t you think medicine improves and therefore go for other stuff. ????


    • I am much better if I am taking an older, new medication for myself, but, having worked in a pharmacy I learned we are guinea pigs for several years on a brand-new marketed medication. This is why you see so many lawsuits on the TV where people have died. There isn’t enough studies done before it goes into our bodies. These new medications are the ones I fear the most

      Liked by 1 person

  2. i was going to recommend you remember who works for who. i begin by asking some questions about the training and specialty of a dr. this can help set up the foundation of the entire relationship. there are going to be those who feel as that one you saw. it is no coincidence she became a dr. that is a “power” career. it is the power that can be seen as a gift that you are grateful for and know it is a gift or you can use it to make yourself feel powerful. during my career i could identify the difference fairly quickly. some feel the need to identify themselves to others quickly that they are a doctor. others are a lot more humble.

    sometimes we all need to be reminded that it is ok to stand up for ourselves. so my friend please don’t hesitate to tell whatever dr you see about your fears and history of non-compliance. let them know this and you will know quickly whether or not they are someone you can work with.

    sorry you have to deal with such fear, i believe it can’t be easy for you. you have been through so much it makes me sad to think of your anxiety. i hope that this new dr is more understanding and treats you with the dignity you deserve.

    sending love and hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    • How are you doing dear friend? How were the holidays? I did go to that doctor. I told him I was weird and how I felt about medicines and he said he would respect my wishes, but may not always agree. I had lab work done Friday and go back this coming Friday. I shall see how we get along then. Love and hugs my friend

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Terry!

    I see that you have made the move.
    Hope that you have settled in well by now.

    Hope you find the right doctor that will work out for you & your diabetes.
    Wondering – do you wear a medic bracelet or whatever they are called? If not – maybe consider wearing one.

    Happy New Year!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my gosh, it is you RoSy!!! I am so happy to see you!!! I did go to the doc, and we talked and the real test will be when my labs come back this week and I go back this Friday. He says he will respect my wishes, so I am hoping. How are you my friend????

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Good that you found someone that will respect your wishes. Makes life a bit less stressful.
    I’ve been extremely busy with family. My girls are on two separate hockey teams each. My son – being a senior in HS – seems to keep us busy too. He doesn’t yet have (or want) his DL. It’s all good though – saves me $ on car insurance – money that could go toward his college expenses coming soon…
    Hope you’ve been doing well overall.
    I do think about you & always keep you (& Al) in my prayers.
    May he continue to rest in peace.

    Liked by 1 person

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