What Happened?


I can’t get over
The fact that
My thoughts have
Changed so much
Just because
I got older.
What once was so;
I question now.
Fears I didn’t have,
Surface time to time
Though the hard work
Is over of growing up,
There are many things
That leave with age,
And part of them
Are my trust
And my heart.
 
Written by,
Terry Shepherd
3/30/75
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Caramel Apple Bundt Cake – Shugary Sweets


This Caramel Apple Bundt Cake is the perfect breakfast cake or dessert recipe! Packed with apples, cinnamon and brown sugar, it’s the caramel frosting that’s truly the “icing on the cake.” Be sure to sign up for my email…new recipes in your inbox! **I am part of the Ambassador program with Crunch Pak apples. While I have […]

Source: Caramel Apple Bundt Cake – Shugary Sweets

I Remember


My heart aches darlin
When I wake each sunny morn
We were meant to be together
It was written when we were born.

We loved, we built a family
A girl and then a boy
I remember your sheepish grin
When you handed them their toys.

I remember the day it happened
The day you got the mail
I remember your head hung low
And you walked as if a snail.

You handed me the papers
You stared into my eyes
I read with disbelief
That you would say goodbye.

I watched you climb the bus
I tried to be so strong
I held the babies tight
As I sang a soft, soft song.

I remember the day it happened
When the telephone voice did say
That you wouldn’t be coming home
You died for victory in the U.S.A.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd
03/29/2016

cowboy

Waiting For the Top


These past weeks have not been as well as I wish they were. I have had many more tremors. I have had pain in my side and stomach. My sternum has been hurting. It feels like my organs have been pushed up and out from under my ribs.

Mood swings between smiling sincerely and faking a smile have been on a roller coaster lately. I seem to go to bed not feeling well and get up feeling about the same. Last night, I got that itch and tingle of pain in my eye.

I recognized it from previous times. With being older, the eyelids can begin to drop lower. This in turn can cause any of the tear ducts to plug up. It causes a sting and itching and a doctor’s visit.

My sugars seem to be riding on the valleys too. Almost daily I swing from too low to moderate high.

I am so sick of not feeling well, some days I just don’t want to get up. I am still trying to see one good thing in each day that is good, but most days I would rather sleep it away. I used to wake-up and get on the computer. Now days I force myself to get on.

I don’t understand what is going on. I need to get back on top again, and am hoping it happens soon. My birthday is next month, and I think it isn’t as exciting as it was when I was a kid. Can you look forward to your birthday and yet wish it away?

I knew today I had to visit the doctor because of my eye. I know from the past experiences, it doesn’t get better without medication. I went and told them about my aches and pains in my gut. I left knowing I am dealing with a spastic colon due to eating foods that are not good for me.

Now, I have some medication and restrictions on foods until I get everything back in place. I got medicine for my eye.

My two sons keep in touch with me, and I see the grandkids when I can. I finally got my car fixed with a guarantee. It ended up being a very expensive chip in the car. The mice that decided to home in my car for the winter cost me over $2,000 to fix. So much for mice being cute little nose wigglers.

I miss so many people and things I used to do; but I am going to keep my head held high and wait to climb back on top.

Thanks for listening.

 

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My Thoughts in Poetry


I am the key
Without the lock
The holder
Not the action
Many hold me
In their hand
Prying, twisting
Turning; but
The heart is rusted.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd
03/28/2016

 

 

I told you once
I told you twice
A broken heart
Yep, that’s the price.
 
You say you’ll
Never do it again?
You mock me dear
With those lips so slim.
 
Broken nose
Knocked out teeth
Damaged eyes
With your hand of sheath.
 
You best be going
I’ve called the cops
It’s time to heal
My hearts in the shop.
 
Raise your hand
I have no fear
The sounds of sirens
Are very near.
 
Time to take
A stand for me
I must grow strong
Now let me be.
 
Written by,
Terry Shepherd
03/28/2016
 
This was not written about or for myself.
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Depression


The voices told me to do it. He/she is depressed. Being out of work, I just couldn’t take the kids screaming any longer. Drugs made him/her do it.

We read and hear a lot in this world. I can’t begin to understand what makes people do what they do. All I can do is give my heart to those who want me to listen. I can relate to depression.

My mother used to say when she was alive that she didn’t believe in depression. She believed it was an excuse for a deeper problem. I am not sure if she was totally right. I know I have depression; but not a deep depression.

I don’t understand why I go through my bad days most times. I am alive, and loved, cared about, and my health could be worse. I understand days like yesterday when I was very sad. I hated it that my family and friends never mentioned my brother’s name.

Actually, they should not have to mention his name. I guess I just wanted someone else to understand and feel some of the pain and sorrow I was feeling since it was his second anniversary of being in heaven.

I couldn’t get myself motivated for crap yesterday. I didn’t want to get dressed, or even eat. Everything I did, I drug my feet fighting. I am glad the day is over. I don’t forget Al on any day, but those special days suck big time.

The real depression though. More people have it than we suspect. It isn’t a day or two of sadness. It can cause so many problems within our families, ourselves. I believe it can alter our thinking so that we do things we normally would not do.

Can people be on medications and function throughout life? I am not sure. Years ago when I was going through a real depression from a lack of personal connection between a family member and myself; I finally broke down and went and saw a therapist. I think I picked the wrong type for myself, as the way to fix me was to medicate me. All I wanted to do day after day was sleep.

In my opinion, that wasn’t a way to work through and heal, it was a blanket covering the problem. One day I got sick and tired of not wanting to be a part of the living. I found a Christian counselor, and we talked out my issues, and through time, I became 90% better than I was.

Do you know someone who is labeled depressed? What do you notice different about them from you? Do you believe that depression is a blanket for a deeper problem, or do you believe it is real?

Give me your thoughts.

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Life


Life

In a crowded place

I see my face

Reflecting off the sky

Hear me asking why

Alone and together

We storm through weather

Living the minutes of day

Making goals on our way

In my chair here at home

Where I have space to roam

I allow my thoughts to travel

Sometimes tripping on gravel

I know a new day is near

Can’t afford to house fear

Put on my armor of strength

Take a step, keep the length.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

 

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