The voices told me to do it. He/she is depressed. Being out of work, I just couldn’t take the kids screaming any longer. Drugs made him/her do it.

We read and hear a lot in this world. I can’t begin to understand what makes people do what they do. All I can do is give my heart to those who want me to listen. I can relate to depression.

My mother used to say when she was alive that she didn’t believe in depression. She believed it was an excuse for a deeper problem. I am not sure if she was totally right. I know I have depression; but not a deep depression.

I don’t understand why I go through my bad days most times. I am alive, and loved, cared about, and my health could be worse. I understand days like yesterday when I was very sad. I hated it that my family and friends never mentioned my brother’s name.

Actually, they should not have to mention his name. I guess I just wanted someone else to understand and feel some of the pain and sorrow I was feeling since it was his second anniversary of being in heaven.

I couldn’t get myself motivated for crap yesterday. I didn’t want to get dressed, or even eat. Everything I did, I drug my feet fighting. I am glad the day is over. I don’t forget Al on any day, but those special days suck big time.

The real depression though. More people have it than we suspect. It isn’t a day or two of sadness. It can cause so many problems within our families, ourselves. I believe it can alter our thinking so that we do things we normally would not do.

Can people be on medications and function throughout life? I am not sure. Years ago when I was going through a real depression from a lack of personal connection between a family member and myself; I finally broke down and went and saw a therapist. I think I picked the wrong type for myself, as the way to fix me was to medicate me. All I wanted to do day after day was sleep.

In my opinion, that wasn’t a way to work through and heal, it was a blanket covering the problem. One day I got sick and tired of not wanting to be a part of the living. I found a Christian counselor, and we talked out my issues, and through time, I became 90% better than I was.

Do you know someone who is labeled depressed? What do you notice different about them from you? Do you believe that depression is a blanket for a deeper problem, or do you believe it is real?

Give me your thoughts.

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