I Don’t Feel This Every Day

I saw a banner floating through my FB earlier and I thought about how many people actually feel like this. The sorrow is the person who feels this more than a few times per week.

I can tend to feel this way; but keep walking the worn path of my old footsteps, trying to do good. I am a born caregiver. It took me many years to figure out that this is God’s talent given to me. When I had children it was my greatest pleasure to take care of them.

Whether it was feeding them or wiping a nose, I loved it. Why? because I felt needed.When my father and brother became ill, it was very painful to watch them suffer; but I was rewarded with many wonderful memories by being their family and caregiver.

Now that I am a public speaker for the terrible disease, Multiple System  Atrophy, it gives me an awesome satisfaction now more than ever to help. You ask why? I have my own gait issues, tremor issues, my age is against me, so being able to answer questions for families and patients, being able to give words of comfort, or place silly or beautiful posts on my page, and have them tell me I made their day, is the best ever.

It is hard to deal with the deeply embedded pain of having people ignore you. We can and do feel alone, sad and sometimes depressed. I have learned that although others may have hurt me, they most likely aren’t feeling it, so the best thing to do is  help someone who you know will appreciate it, and who knows, you may also develop an ever-lasting friendship.

I don't feel

To Daughter’s Everywhere

To Daughters Everywhere
I thought I knew it all
I was almost seventeen
I hated they didn’t understand me
You all know what I mean?
I’ve shed so many tears
As I lay awake at night
Another argument with them
Seems like I never win.
He said he loves me deeply
He says there’s no one else
Why can’t you parents get it?
Won’t you understand a bit?
When I am with him alone
And he whispers in my ear
When he says he wants to show me
I don’t want to run and flee.
Maybe you’ve never felt this
The true meaning of real love
Because then you would permit this
Just some hugs and a little kiss.
Oh mommy, I didn’t listen
What am I going to do
He said I had to show him
Or he’d leave for one of them.
The nurse, she sat me down
And she took my hand in hers
She said the words so ugly
I am now a mommy to be.
I saw my mommy cry
Big alligator tears
She took me in her arms
As if protecting me from harm.
“I didn’t want this to happen
I know how you must feel
Because years ago my head swirled
And now I have you baby girl.”
Written by,
Terry Shepherd
me today 3