August  2016

I have been trying  very  hard to force smiles, be positive  and  yet, stay calm. This month hasn’t  been  the  best. Actually ,  the past six  months  could  have  been  better .  Stomach  problems , many doctor  visits .  Trips to  the  hospital .  Tremors, balance  problems  and now my latest  path is Potassium . 

My body has held potassium  for almost  a  year .  It is  being  monitored  close. My doctor  decided  it was getting  too high. He chose  to  change  my blood  pressure  medication  thinking  it may be retaining  extra  Potassium . My white cell count  is always  elevated  with no reasons.

I  had a reaction  and after two more  visits to  the  hospital   I was told  to go off the new medication  and  go back to  my  original  one .  This change  caused my Potassium  to reach  a dangerous  level, the quick  change  from new to old . 

Once the  level  is too high, the heart goes into electrical  shock and death follows. Now I  am  on a new blood  pressure  medication  that takes a couple  of  weeks  to work full force.

I  have  to  monitor  my blood  pressure  each day and after only four  days  my pressure  is slowly  rising and headaches  and panic  attacks  have returned . 

I  am  asking  for  prayers. I  just  want  to  have to deal  with  my Parkinson ,  not this and the concern of  no longer  breathing . 

Truth or Dare

Remember this game from back in the teen days? A chance to laugh, maybe be embarrassed by the truth, perhaps choose a dare. Whatever the case, we were entertaining ideas we didn’t do on a daily basis, and hoping for a good outcome. We had choices.

I have a very close friend, who lives across the waters, whom I was lucky enough to meet when my brother was still here on earth. She became a dear angel friend of mine, someone I could cry on her shoulders through my own weary words on my computer.

Her husband and my brother were thought to share the same illness and this is what drew us together. When a loved one is suffering, especially a terminal illness, drawing near to those who could possibly understand, is where we huddle.

Unfortunately, my brother’s diagnosis turned for the worse. He ended up having a rare illness with a much shorter life span. Today, he has been gone two years. While I still go through my trial of separation of getting used to living without him in my life, I dig deeper into my feelings of understanding as I read the words of my friend, speaking about her life and her husband’s health.

Memories come flooding back. No, it doesn’t make me get any extra sad then I may have already been that day. It actually makes me acutely aware of how she is feeling and perhaps be able to give a comforting word along with my prayers.

Sadly, I have to say that she is now in that roller coaster ride; the truth or dare game of life, that I once was. One day, hope enters, the next day, thoughts of funeral exist. It is a very tiring and exhausting process to go through.

The bad thing about this ride, is there is no time limit on when you may say Truth or Dare? Mother may I get off this ride? Your heart beats heavier and faster. Your thoughts can become jumbled. Bigger tears fall and you dig deep for signs of hope or thoughts of let’s get this over, okay? let me off this ride.

My heart goes out to her and anyone who is suffering through a long-term illness. Sometimes, although rare, lol, I am speechless for words on how to help. I believe the best I can do is pray for the best outcome for everyone involved, keep letting them know they are in my thoughts, and keep telling them I love them.

I love you, my friend, Julie. I pray for calm, peace, building memories, and anything else than can be found in this weekend. Hugs to you.

Perhaps you also would like to stop by and give her an emotional hug. If you feel like you want to; follow this link and say hello.

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