I Am Still Around


Breeze whispers through my hair
As I sit on our favorite dock
A smile gently unfolds around me
As I remember the six oclocks.

It was here we said I love you
It was here, our kiss began
It was here you took me gently
By clinging onto another’s hands.

Now a year has passed between us
We said goodbye to summer gone
We said we’d write each other
And never forget our song.

The time ticked by so slowly
Then sped it up my months
I’d give anything my darling
If we could one time more, just touch.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd

 

faces

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I have self-diagnosed for so long. I went to the doctor today and learned that exercise programs are out for me now. I can do yoga, he said, as long as I go slow at it.

My Parkinson’s is advancing just a touch. Today I spent a few times hugging the wall, as my balance is off more today than usual. It seems anything I place in my  hands, makes my hands tremor. I can barely write my name now a days.

I have spent too much time going back to the past and reliving my better moments. It’s fun and yet makes me cry, as I realize age is gaining on me.

I was asked if I wanted to be placed on depression pills, but I am afraid I will sleep all day, so I said no for now. I swear I can kick this. Perhaps Spring will make a difference. The smell of fresh air, seeing green grass again, being able to go out with my camera again.

To be quite frank, I never dreamed losing my brother could place such a deep pit in my heart. I can go to my son’s house and visit, and I am so  happy. I go home and within a day, I am sad again.

I hate this my friend, I really do. I have always been told I am a survivor, so I will survive though this. I have too much to live for. I know God isn’t done with me yet.

I am going to go on U-Tube and look up Yoga classes. The doctor said it will help my balance, so why not give it a try, right? I also learned that Parkinson’s can bring on teary eyes and sad times. Thank goodness I do have good days.

Well, I just wanted you to know I am still around. I have been writing a lot of  poetry but not near as much short stories. Things have to get better, they must.

 

 

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7 thoughts on “I Am Still Around

  1. Yoga may help, but as a clinical depression patient, I would ask you to reconsider the depression meds, too. They don’t all cause drowsiness. In fact, they often allow you to enjoy moving around more – because you “feel” better about life and moving. It’s surprising how much cloudy fog can happen with depression, once you find a medicine that helps your brain to communicate in healthy ways again. If your depression is only seasonal, there are ways to change the doses to allow for the sunlight impact, too.

    Liked by 2 people

    • That is interesting to read. I remember years and years ago, I was going through depression. The meds given to me made me sleep most of my days a way. Thank you for sharing this info with me. Meds must surely have changed

      Liked by 2 people

      • O yes! I couldn’t take any meds that don’t allow me to be alert and with a good mental acuity. I have to manage a demanding job, after all (friendly smile). I couldn’t believe how a fog had seemed to lift after a week of taking my meds. I won’t mention which ones helped me, because you may not be able to take it. But there are SO many good anti depressants that are available out there and they really DO help. it’s a brain chemical thing, not a mood if you’re really feeling hopeless and paralyzed by bad feelings of uselessness. So it won’t shift until your chemistry does. Best to do that safely, and with the help of your doctor as they find out which ones work with your other meds.

        Liked by 1 person

    • I have to agree. I have been on depression meds for years, ever since the doctor crippled me. I am alert for the most part – it is pain that reduces that alertness – and the depression meds do help. I was taking them through my divorce, and then through my relationship with a sociopath. Heh it’s not only women who suffer at the hands of a partner. I always know when I have missed my tablets for a couple of days because my thoughts get darker.

      If you think it may be a seasonal thing, then trying St John’s Wort couldn’t hurt. They are a good combattant against SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).

      The antidepressants I am on also have a pain relief factor in them as well. Not all meds have the effect that diazepam and temazepam have. There have been huge leaps forward since then.

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  2. Terry, in losing your brother you. lost someone to take care of, someone who needed you. And I think it has always been a part of your life to serve and help, to be needed by others. I don’t know how much you are able to get out and about these days, but perhaps you could read to residents in a nursing home or some other service that would bring joy to someone else.

    I haven’t said much lately, but I’ve watched with concern, and I do still pray for you. I’ve been hit with my own physical difficulties, but things are looking better now and I’m planning on going back to work on Feb. 7. Getting older does take its toll

    Liked by 1 person

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