I Can’t Solve my own Puzzle


Wonder how many of you can relate to this post. I was a part of a family. I took care of my children. I had a side business in Antiques. Everyone grew up and moved on. Marriage dissolved.

Now I am older and alone. The lack of full-time work when I was younger,didn’t help me now that I collect that Disability check. I should be so grateful for my roof and bills paid, but what about the extra money I don’t receive? You know, where you want to buy food but can’t do much of that?

My health keeps me from working. Even if I could work, the government takes away the things I need most, such as insurance. I hate living off the government. I am not one of those who sits at home on purpose and collects, when I could be working.

Having Parkinson/ Ataxia/Dystonia, isn’t something that is easily turned into cash. I am safe, as far as the term goes, not living in the streets, but is it bad to want a little more? Wouldn’t it be so much nicer if I got to choose the foods I ate, instead of taking what is offered through other means? Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the help, but I wish I didn’t have to take it.

I don’t consider myself a loser woman. I think myself as intelligent as others my age. I have looked into photography selling. I have joined a couple of groups. Plenty look, but no sales after too much time has passed.

I can write, or at least think I can, but it doesn’t pay. I have written and published a couple of books. I sell them, but I can’t buy groceries for a weeks time on the profits.

I paint, but I am definitely an artist only in my own mind.

What do people do at this point in their life? For me, no amount of searching has lead me to any real profit. I sit here daily and hope for change, but then I frown when I can’t find it.

Even after three years of getting no cost of living through Social Security, I finally received a small raise. The government then raised my rent and my auto insurance went up, you know, they yearly increases? I actually ended up going in the hole for 2018.

How do fixed income, senior citizens make a little extra, so things like food choices or a much needed pair of walking shoes can be had?

So depressing at times when, but haven’t been able to fix it yet. Perhaps one day.

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