Who I Am


I am not getting discouraged and yet I feel different inside. I still want to march forward and yet I am tired.

Eating breakfast and lunch today was not pleasant. Nothing sounded good and nothing tasted good either. I just feel sort of blah?

I am sure I will bounce out of this, it’s just a day, tomorrow is a new day. It takes a lot of physical work to concentrate on not falling, to not weeble-wobble. I worry too much about what people are thinking when they have rarely seen me act in this way.

It seems a lot easier right now to just stay in my room and be alone although I know from years of training this is not good. When I am in my room, I think of various things I could be doing and then when I am around others, I wish I was in my room.

This has got to stop. I want me to go back to me. Pray for me to be who I am?

shady9

7 thoughts on “Who I Am

  1. I tend to want to isolate when I am struggling or trying to work things out in my mind.. Do you have the support of a friend that understands your situation and perhaps take out to sight see or grab a bite to eat. I know you are creative.. Does your local community offer free art or craft classes? Do you qualify for any in home care.. Companion/shopping help

    Liked by 1 person

    • The only real support I get is one friend who is not here too much. I have a lot of support from Facebook groups. I am trying to get someone to come here so I can shower . Falls are a high risk for showers for me, but I keep being told I am not nursing home ready as I can feed myself and dress myself. I take a lot of photos and write books. I teach Hospice classes online and am an advocate for a rare illness. There is so much more I want to do in my life. I love helping others. I tend to also stay to myself when I am struggling. I don’t want people to see me as a grown woman weeble-wobbling

      Liked by 1 person

      • It sounds like you stay busy but it also sounds like you could really use some assistance. Do you use a walker or have a shower chair. I did some home health many years ago.. I went to a meeting that I hadn’t been to for a while and I was resisting because I was being hard on myself and it turned out that I needed to be there because the topic was (mindset).. I was so thankful that I took the plunge to go as it really spoke to what I was going through. Keep up with what you are doing, as our world can certainly use more helpers and more encouragers.. I will pray that someone will come into your life that will offer to help you out..

        Liked by 1 person

      • I have a shower chair but the tub is too narrow and the legs on the chair sit on the curve of the tub, so unsafe. I do use a walker. Thank you for the prayers

        Like

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