How do you react and what do you do when you run into someone who used to be considered your best friend? What about a relative that you were close to and then when life changes your circumstances; the relative changes their personality towards you? Has this ever happened to you?
It has to me. I have never been so hurt, emotionally, as when my father passed a way and my family turned their backs on me. It wasn’t something that I did to change their views. It was my father’s choices in his will. You know the words, I leave this to this person and that to that person.
I don’t know what my dad was thinking because I have not been close to dying yet and therefore I could not begin to read his mind in those final months. He knew though and he knew the feelings he was carrying.
Choices he had picked in previous years suddenly seemed to take a different direction; the closer to death’s door he became. He obviously had discussed us kids to different family members when his life was full of living.
I also don’t believe that people who are close to dying and want to make their final decisions go a different route, exactly discuss such personal issues with others. I believe this is exactly what happened in my father’s case. He changed his mind.
My father passed away, December 1st, 2017.
It took a year and a half to settle everything and from that date on; life changed. It has never gone back. There is no family to talk to anymore.
I’m not whining so don’t feel sorry for me. I didn’t make those choices. Others made their own decisions to stay a way from me. It hurts when I think about it so I don’t try to think about it too often. A tear appears as I write this today; but I will get through it. I always do.
My point is; the way we treat people. I have been talking about this on my own Facebook page for a couple of days, so this is the end of the topic. The thinking I want you to take away from this is; is it worth it? Is it really worth it to turn your back on an old friend or a family member?
I bet you think I will say it’s right or wrong. I can’t say that because I don’t know how I would feel if suddenly someone from my past wanted to talk to me today. I guess my first thought would be; What do they want?
I guess I would be suspicious, let a little hopeful for a re-uniting? I don’t know. For me, for these past several years, silence is better. Less hurt, less tears, less remembering, less pain.
So, what would you do if you ran into that old friend or that relative you haven’t spoken to for years?
I have “run into” people I used to go to elementary school with. I put run into in quotes because I really didn’t run into them. My school held a 90th birthday party, so I expected to run into some people I used to know and hadn’t heard from for decades. It was friendly in each case. There have been people I have seen after years apart who have not always been that friendly, but for the most part it has been OK if not great. I did search for a childhood friend on FaceBook a few years ago and sent her a message asking if I had the right person. No response. So I assumed it was not really the person I thought she was or she was simply not interested in renewing our acquaintance. Then out of the blue, I had a message from her just a few months ago. She had just found my message. We e-mailed back and forth a bit, then she asked if I would like to exchange phone numbers. I said yes, and we have had one long catch-up conversation. She and her husband moved at the end of July so I haven’t heard from her for a while, but she did invite me to a lunch where some of the people we went to school with get together on a regular basis – not that often, but maybe every 2 or 3 months. I would have loved to go, but it wasn’t good timing for me. It turned out that my Grade 4 teacher was at that lunch! He had been at the 90th birthday party but had left by the time I found out he had been there. It would have been really interesting to meet him again and his wife. I hope I will get a chance to go sometime, but it is around a 60 mile drive one way and gas sure isn’t cheap these days. So, I guess the moral of the story is that, whatever attitude faces you in meeting anyone, you just have to take the person as they are and not take it too personally. It may be that a person could even be in the first stages of Alzheimer’s or some other form of dementia and cannot help themselves. If they deliberately shun you, just bless them and go on. I know it’s not necessarily easy, but it is necessary. God bless you, Terry.
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i ran into a lady my dad used to date before he passed. She thought one of his possessions should have gone to her instead of us kids. She called me a bad name in front of my brother. I did tell her never to do that again in front of him, especially since he was so ill at the time. She laughed at me and said it again. I walked off to console my crying brother. He did not understand why she called me names
If I ran into someone from some time ago, I would be nice and friendly and obviously depending how our friendship/relationship was ask more questions. If it hasn’t been so good, just say nice to see you and continue walking.
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That is probably what I would do except one time when a lady my dad was seeing before he passed thought she should have something my dad didn’t leave her. She saw my brother and I in the store and called me a bitch right in front of my brother. I told her to never call me names in front of him, especially when he was so ill
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