It’s Part of Life

Picture taken by me.

A scene happened yesterday that has tossed like a salad in my head until I decided to write about it so I could get rid of it.

It doesn’t matter who says what or how they say it; I am afraid of dying. I don’t know if it’s because I think I will miss people or perhaps I am afraid of death hurting, or the process to the death. I believe in God,so that makes this issue stupid in my eyes but I’m still afraid.

To get through this, I play or pretend it isn’t happening sooner than later. I tell myself I look pretty good for my age. I try to ignore those aches and pains of arthritis. I place most blame on my Ataxia for being tired. Get the picture?

I have this close friend who obviously wasn’t brought up with the manners I was.I was taught to not say anything if I thought it may hurt someone’s feelings. Well we are good enough friends, that most of our conversations are more straight forward and this talk yesterday was just that.

We were comparing how we have changed through the years and the words spewed out at me. “You have changed. You have wrinkles and your hair is thin and your skin is crepe. You’re old!” Boom, instantly I was hurt.

Hurt probably because it is truth and since I am afraid of dying, it stung. I tried to defend myself but I heard, “Well, it’s the truth.” I got back by saying something truthful about my friend that I probably wouldn’t have said in case it caused hurt feelings.

This is just so darn stupid. I know that I am going to die. We all are. I can be there for anyone who is ill or dying but my own aches and pains can cause me to go to pretend land.

I don’t know what I should have actually done or said but today, those words are still haunting me. Let’s face it Terry, you are aging. It’s part of life.

Can’t Undo the Past, Remember?

In my opinion, it doesn’t do any good to paint statues red or break them or tear them down. It doesn’t do any good to change the photo or name on a long-time food product because you are afraid someone will be offended.

My parents taught me that not everyone will like me and to be thankful if I make one, close friend in my life. They were right you know. A lot of parents were or are right if us kids would just listen.

You can not change the past and you can’t change history, so what’s the point of taking away all of these statues that represent wars, and wins and good ethics? Tell me now! What is the very point you are trying to make?

I’ll tell you what the point is. The point is coward. Afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Afraid of losing a dollar. Afraid to trust in God to fix all this. Where in the world is your back bone businesses?

I am so ashamed. I have never been as ashamed of the United States of America as I am right now. BLM? I agree with this to a point. All lives matter, no matter what race or sexuality or color you are. It doesn’t matter what you live in or where you live, and if we are making mistakes or making bad judgments when we know better, God Will Take Care of This, not us.

It is not our responsibility to discipline or tear things up or kill each other. I swear, this is the truth. We shall all be judged. What bothers me the most of the BLM, is the destroying of property by whites and blacks. What is that showing the rest of us?

We understand black lives matter so why are blacks and whites acting like overgrown children.

Okay, I have said my thoughts. I just wonder if they will take the Colonel in the above photo, who happened to own a plantation, and tear him apart and try to forget another part of history and labels on foods we eat.

What a shame, all of this a darn shame.

Clear as the Brook Flows

The other day I wrote a post about the black lives matter. I wrote my own thoughts and maybe I didn’t make myself very clear, which is very possible, but what I was trying to say and also express through the photos that I took and shared is pretty simple, or at least in my eyes, everyone is equal and we should treat each other as so.

For the most part, I received good comments but I did seem to offend at least one person here on my blog and my Facebook and for this I will apologize for any misunderstanding but I won’t apologize for my thoughts.

I do believe in God and I believe that we were each created equal and although this was done so many years ago, it still stands today. Now, it is a different story if people want to group together and twist words or actions or even personal experiences to make it their own, but we are still equal.

I have been attacked emotionally in my life for what I believe in or felt at the time, and yes, it does hurt, so I do understand, but when I posted my photos it was very clear to see that children of mixed colors do not look at color. They are born innocent and want friends and are willing and eager to make friends. Not always, but kids hear adults speak about racism and the media is quick to give their thoughts if it will help sell news, but we are still no better than any other human on this earth.

I believe no matter what color, we should be treated equally by our police, local people and our government. I believe whether we have money or not, we deserve fair treatment. I believe no matter which side of the track we live on, we are still important. I believe that God created us for a purpose, a purpose for him and we are to do this job. We are to love one another as ourselves.

We are not proud of those who tear apart our cities to prove a point. It proves no point, it shows a lack of respect for others. I do believe that we have a right to peacefully protest or announce our feelings and present our desires for change.

I took some more photographs last evening of the kids in my neighborhood. I met two neighbor ladies who live side by side because I was attracted to their beautiful flowers. I am never so shy that I won’t go to the source and ask if I can photograph their beauties.

I hope I have made myself much more clear and I hope you enjoy my photos.

The Invisible Wall

It really bothers me that color is a small word with huge descriptions and how these two colors, black and white have become like oil mixed with water. Why?

Everywhere you look there is turmoil. Fighting for a race, fighting for a right. It has taken over every part of the world.

The fact is; that we are each equal. One is no better than the other and we all have the right to take space in this world.

I got my scooter out last evening and grabbed my camera. I decided to take some photos, which I showed you above. I live in an area of black and white. A small community but I wouldn’t consider it a close knit neighborhood after last evenings ride.

I ask to take the photos of the kids. The kids liked showing off for the photos but I got the look from the parents. I felt like I was about to make an attack on someone. The looks weren’t angry, but they were looks of fear.

What was I doing speaking to them? Why did I want to photograph their kids? I explained I was a photographer and that seemed to settle things down, but the tension was still there. It is sad in my eyes.

I remember when I used to work in the nursing field. I worked with mixed colors and believe me, the black women I worked beside could really make me laugh up a storm. I became close enough with one gal, that I asked her one evening if she wanted to go out and get a coke after work to just unwind and laugh. Immediately, her smile left and she said, “Work was one thing,but we weren’t mixing after work.”

It hurt my feelings but I understood. Maybe I will never understand it from their point, but all I do understand, is color doesn’t keep me from being friendly and wanting to make friends.

A Little Taste of Normal

What is Normal?

‘Normal’can be defined as any behavior or condition which is usual, expected, typical, or conforms to a pre-existing standard.

When I arise each morning, I place my Life Alert around my neck. I use the bathroom and then I get my first cup of coffee.

This is my normal. I watch the news on TV while I drink my coffee and the last few minutes that I am spending quality time with myself, I check my emails and Facebook on my phone.

This is the end of my normal. I get up and start the day by house work. The movement and bending or running the sweeper drains me in no time at all. The aches I didn’t experience upon arising show their faces.

In no time at all, I am ready for a nap.

Yesterday, I went to the hospital for an appointment I had for a swallow study test. The doctor and the technician were stumped by my swallowing and choking on the different food choices they gave me.

They said the normal person would not notice such a tiny remnant of food left in the back of my mouth but my high sensitivity picked up quickly that food was still remaining. As they watched the scan, I could hear them whispering and wondered what they were saying. They stated they would send my test results to my Neurologist. I am waiting for that call. They did mention, no more straws and a mechanical soft diet.

So this is my new beginning of another normal. What is your normal in your eyes?

Who Am I Today?

The photo above is the cat that my brother and I had when my brother was still living and I took care of him. Rhino was a great cat and although we both loved him, he was closer to my brother. I believe this was because my brother was sick and the cat knew it. After my brother passed, the cat went into a different personality and life was never the same again.

It’s been some time since I owned a cat so I decided to get a new pet, but I didn’t give it enough thought and it didn’t work out. I have gait problems and this pretty much means I am unsteady on my feet. My cat, named Riley, was very loving and always under my feet. I fell into walls or cabinets from tripping over him.

I tried so many things to get him to stop but he just wouldn’t change that about himself, so a few days ago, he was placed in another loving home. I think he will be happy once he is used to his new surrounding and he will even have a cat friend to play with. I really miss him and the house seems so quiet, but I believe I will be a little safer.

It’s Friday morning and the humidity is high here in Northern Indiana. I plucked dead flowers from my outdoor plants but didn’t stay outside because of the heat. I prepped some veggies and put all items in covered blows for a few chef salads for myself.

I can still eat them as long as I take my time chewing and make sure the ingredients are small enough. I really enjoy salads in the summertime. Did you know that I have a recipe here on my WordPress? I sure do and be sure to check it out. Easiest Recipes Ever and if you are on Facebook, I have a recipe page there also and here is the link.

Not much happening here. Restaurants are opening but dine in is still slow and some eating places still aren’t open at all. I think Indiana is lifting everything July 4th. It’s still a little leery for me though. Cases of being positive for the virus are on the rise as people ignore the social distancing and more is opening.

I hope all of us continue to be cautious and smart.

I want to add one last thought.

It is awful what is happening to our country in our racial and hate crimes. Pray peace finds it way to our people.

Have a great day my friends.