I haven’t been on the computer too much in the past week. I was with a friend who was also a patient for surgery. After the surgery, I was helping with daily needs as the surgery was on the arm.
I almost forgot what it was like to help someone in person. I had over twenty years caring for the sick and aging. After caring for Hospice the last five years and then caring for my brother and my father during their terminal illnesses, I have only cared for myself these past few years.
It wears you out! How did I do that for so many hours and years? Maybe I was just younger and of course I didn’t have this neurological illness then. I always had this thought. God gave me the experience to be able to care for my brother and father in their homes instead of nursing homes and then when they both passed, my job was done.
It seems all in perfect timing to me, except the part of now I am the one ill. I wish sometimes that I had the family member to help me, but with my experience, I am able to care for myself for now.
Have you ever had to care for someone? How long was it? What were your duties?
Other than parenting and caring for a partner’s illnesses (husband), I haven’t been a full time caregiver as you were. My birth mother was able to stay at home during her cancer journey until she began falling too much and then the cancer moved to her brain. She needed full time care, and I had to work since I was single and had no other means of support. I would go to work and do my 8 hours and then go to her nursing home to visit and bring her different things. On the weekends, I would stay home, since her places were always near where I worked, an hour away from where the rest of the family lived. I figured it was their turn to take a shift on the weekends.
They rarely did because they were suffering from C-PTSD, as we were dependent children to a woman with untreated mental illness. I can be certain she suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder and that comes with narcissism. We were her tools in life or her slaves, and all kinds of abuse went with that. So it was only because of my being in foster care the longest of all of her children, and in more counseling than most of the rest, that I managed to be her caregiver – but only part time.
I am glad that you are able to be your own advocate more than most would be with limited understanding of what medical decisions need to be made. I hope it helps you to find more courage and spirit for making sure that you keep your quality of life high and joyous for as long as possible. Huggerz.
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No matter how many hours are spent being a care taker it is rough. It not only changes your free time, it is stressful and the responsibility can be through the roof. I am proud of what you did. So many walk away from what I call one of the hardest jobs around, but you did what you could. Aside from my kids, i found great rewards in my job. I wish I could continue. Love ya my friend
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