Get That Tail Out From Between Your Legs

I wish, when I was young, that I had a built a boat-load of confidence in life and myself, but I didn’t. I hate it that still today, I strive to be all that I can for others and always forget that I am far from perfect. I have friends on here that seem to have it all.

A good childhood, a positive and productive adult life, courage to admit their wrongs and proud of their rights. I am very proud of my friends that have included me in their lives.

I try, I try to hard to not beat myself up for my flaws, but I fail so often. I talk to God about it, I have sought help in learning to accept myself, and still I fail. I think some days that this is why I try so hard to at least make others smile.

The first word that is spoken to me, that is negative; I run away with my tail between my legs.

I have to stop. I really do. I don’t want to go to my grave with this hanging on my soul, but how do I do this? How do I erase words and feelings from earlier days? I pump myself up so much and then I deflate in a matter of seconds.

My doctor calls this depression and I don’t know; maybe he has something there. All I know, is I want it to stop. I am who I am, but I’m still learning.

4 thoughts on “Get That Tail Out From Between Your Legs

  1. It sounds like you need to be a better friend to yourself. I’m going to gently offer some ideas, though you didn’t ask for advice.

    First, if it’s depression, then as a fellow sufferer, please get some help! I put off getting help when I finally thought, “MAYBE I’m in a depression cycle again” I was just too overwhelmed and had no energy (hello- symptoms of depression). It only took a couple of weeks for me to see my energy levels rise after I began taking some medications for my depression. If you are already taking some, then you might need something different that works better with your body than the one you’re currently on.

    Next, consider talking to a psychologist, not for a long time, but to get some good ideas on how to be a better friend to yourself. Maybe writing a daily list of three things you like about yourself, with no repeats in 30 days, and only 10 in the following 90. This was a big help to me, because my therapist said, “Just look for the ways you would honestly offer good things to your friend that you’ve noticed, and tell her why these good things matter to you.”


    Liked by 2 people

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