Chapter Thirty-Eight

I sat as quiet as a mouse, partly because I was a little scared of the yelling I was hearing and partly because I wanted to hear what this was all about. The front door was opened wide. I could see mother holding on to the screen door, not letting the woman pull it open. She sure wanted to come in.

I heard parts of their conversation though and I may be a little girl but I knew they were talking about me and the other lady was my mama. Mama! Mama! My heart sang out. I started to stand-up and go run to her but something inside me told me to stay put and remain quiet.

“You’re not welcome here mam, now leave and please don’t come back again.”

” I want to see my baby! You can’t stop me from seeing my baby girl!”

“You walked a way from her and she isn’t a baby anymore. She is now five years old. Now please leave.” I saw mother trying to pull the screen door shut but mama was playing tug of war with the door.

” You just wait lady! When she turns sixteen, she’ll be able to tell you that she wants to live with me and you won’t be able to do a damn thing about it! You just wait and see! I’ll wait and I’ll be back, the day she turns sixteen.”

“Okay, we shall wait and in the mean time, leave and don’t come back.”

I didn’t realize it at first but I felt wetness and when I touched my chubby cheeks, there were tears streaming down my face. This woman, this mother was keeping me from the person I loved; my mama. I was heart broken. My body didn’t want to move but I forced myself to move. I quietly sneaked back up the stairs and into my room. I raced to my bed and threw myself on it. I covered my entire body up with my covers. I wanted to hide from everyone. I wanted to run a way. I wanted to pay my my new mother back.

To be continued…

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Well, I better move on. As you can see, Granddad meant the world to me, so I talked a bit too much about him? No, probably not enough. I am sure there is or was a family member who meant so much to you. I bet if you think about it right now, you will just plain smile.

So, our new step-mom, {mother}, dad and brother and I lived in a house all by ourselves. Grandma and grandpa lived about a half hour away but we saw them usually every Friday evening. We would go to their house and we always had chili and hot dogs. Daddy sure did love this meal, well I can’t really remember, but he must have, we went every Friday at supper time.

After supper was done, us kids would sit on our chairs and be as quiet as we could. Family always told us that children should be seen and not heard. Grandma would turn on the television and we would watch whatever the grown-ups watched. It was fun to watch their TV because they had one of those color TV’s. We only had a black and white one at our house.

After the programs were over, we were told to go use the bathroom because there would no no stopping on the way home. We would all climb in the car but not until daddy kissed grandma on the cheek and as we were pulling away, daddy would always honk and I would see grandma standing at the big, bay window waving to us goodbye.

I really don’t remember too much about the house we lived in except two things. Us kids slept upstairs and when you used the stairs, you went up one flight, and through a wooden framed, glass door, then you went up the other flight.I remember this well. I was four and I was coming down the stairs one morning and I tripped. I fell down the stairs and went through the glass door and fell the rest of the way down. I remember mother making me lay down on the couch and she searched my eyes for glass with a flashlight. I didn’t go to the doctor or a hospital as she didn’t find anything. Today, though, all grown-up and getting my eye exams, the doctor says I have scaring on one eye, and it looked like I had some sort of accident. I told him about that time I fell and he said it made sense.

There was another time that I was in the living room, hiding behind this brown rocker. I don’t remember what I was hiding from or who but I am sure I was trying to get by with something I knew I shouldn’t be doing.

Mother was in the room too and she didn’t even notice me. I was being real quiet. There came a knock at the door and I saw mother go and open the door. I could hear two ladies talking and they were raising their voices. It sounded like they were mad at each other. Who could be at that door?

To be continued…

Chapter Thirty-Six

Grandad taught brother about life and he did this through the animals. He let him watch as pigs and cows gave birth. He taught him how to milk a cow and how and when to feed the animals. I think brother learned more from this man than he learned in his entire life. I am sure, looking back, it was the gentle voice and attitude and lots of patience.

Granddad worked hard on the farm but when he was not working he would tell us kids a lot of jokes. He had nicknames for each one of us and he made each of us feel so important. I know now, being all grown, that feeling important and loved is the base of a good foundation for adult hood.

When Grandad wasn’t working on the farm, he had a part-time job too. He drove the school bus for many years. I think every kid loved him. He had big, floppy ears and always wore bib overhauls.

When he retired from this job and the farm was sold to another farmer, he went to work for the State Highway department. He drove a truck. I don’t know how long he worked there but one day it was over because he had a heart attack while driving and hit a semi head on.

This was my first experience as an adult, dealing with loss of life. Oh boy, did I cry and cry. It took me years to get over the fact that I couldn’t see him any longer. I don’t believe there was another person that came into my life that could fill Granddad’s shoes. I miss him today but smile, as I remember all the love that poured out of his heart.

To be continued….