I headed for day number two of being able to walk pretty good. A little wobble is better than a large wobble in my opinion. Anyways, I picked up my friend who also loves the camera and we headed for the park. We took some photos and I want to share them with you. You can see the rest of my photos on my Facebook page.
The winds howled. The doors creaked. Unwanted guests arrived quick; trying to find refuge. Candles danced shadows upon the walls creating scary faces that blinked eyes at you.
It was an eerie night in the house on the hill. It rested back a long, curvy lane, made of stone and gravel. Ruts formed from pouring rains, making it almost impossible for automobiles to make their way to the front door.
Naked trees with long arms, scratched their nails against each other as if fighting for their rights to stand tall and strong. Branches which couldn’t hold their own, fell hard to the ground; crumbling and breaking into many pieces.
Souls who once rested in peace in the cemetery next door, now could be seen by the most naked of eyes. White wisps of matter floated through the air as each spirit fought for a new resting ground.
Inside the house, dressed in a dingy, white, floor-length sleeping gown, a man sat at the table. A small table which held one lit candle, a dead rose in a dirty vase, a pad and a feathered pen rested on the worn tablecloth.
He picked up the pen and stuck the tip on his tongue as if pulling ideas stirring in his brain may come out into the open. He wrinkled his brow and scratched at his chin. “Come on, damn you, come out. I know you are in there.”
In his day, he had written many a word and placed the sheets in order and had created several books. No one knew that he was famous in his own right. A magician of thought, a monkey made to come to life by tugging at the strings, now sat lifeless, waiting for the brain to kick into gear.
He had sat there for hours, for days, trying to think of the first word he wanted to write down. He was about to give up and decided instead a change of pace may stir life back into him.
He slipped on his grayed slippers. He placed his over-sized, black trench coat on. Reaching for his umbrella, he opened the big, black knob and went out into the night. He walked slowly down the gravel and stood looking towards the cemetery as if pleading for someone’s help.
He shivered and pulled his coat closer to him and walked towards the spiked fence. The iron was holding back the once lived, keeping them in place until a bigger soul came to take them home.
He gazed over the tombstones looking for answers. He suddenly became cold. He could feel ice seeping into his nostrils, following the path into the lung cavities. His body became stiff and he knew someone or something had entered his body.
He fell to the ground, grabbing at his throat, squeezing as if trying to stop what ever was invading him. He became lifeless and fell to the ground. Each thought he had ever created took over and consumed him, choking him to death.
Whispers heard, words not understood became louder and louder as his own body was eaten alive from hoarding His mind shut down, his brain swelled, and he died right there amongst the thousands of thoughts and words that he had never once shared with another human being.
Painting done by,
Terry Shepherd
It is wonderful to feel back to myself today. I wrote my post yesterday and I let out my feelings on my Facebook page. Many prayers were said and words of encouragement.
Today, I have not run into any walls. Isn’t this wonderful? I have tremors, but not as much as yesterday.
I know that I can’t rid my Parkinson’s, but reaching out to others does help. I have always had too much pride to ask others for things of any type. I am glad I changed my view on that.
I want to thank all who let me know their feelings. Big hugs.
First photo, my son’s dog.
Second photo, my latest painting called, Wonders.
Third photo, my latest photo of myself.
You probably know by now following my blog, that I am my worst critic. I don’t understand why I am like this and try to change my view of myself.
Yesterday I was scanning my emails, you know, separating real emails from the junk. I came upon an email that was from the site I use to post my photography I take. I opened it up and was greatly surprised when it was announced that my photo had been placed on the front home page.
What an honor I felt. It did help some to be able to admit, without any bragging, that perhaps I don’t do too bad in taking photos. I will never be great, and the best part is I plain love it.
Here is the photo that placed.
I wake up feeling the best in the mornings. I try to give thanks for one more chance to make a change in others lives. At my age, although I am not ancient yet, I realize it is a gift to wake up.
I don’t work because of my gait problems, so I don’t have the normal thoughts as most others. Going to work, dropping the kids off , what’s for supper. Instead, I kind of drift through the day.
I let my mind expand and try to travel different avenues, seeing if there is something I can do. Helping others is something that gives me personal peace. Last night, I painted. I didn’t and usually don’t know what I am going to paint.
It seems as though when I plan ahead what I may paint, I fail. It is much better for me to just pick up the brush and let the mind go. Here is what I painted last night.
Today, I have hope. Not knowing what door will open, but watching for it. Have a good day my friends.
Well my friends, it’s back to our routines. Most went to work today. The mail and the banks are once again open. Some kids went back to school.
I came back home to the quietness. It’s alright, at least for today. Sometimes here, silence is truly golden versus what I could be dealing with.
Today, I puttered around. I had loaded my car yesterday at my sons and unloaded it when I got home, so once again, I am babying my lower back. Two weeks ago, I leaned back on my bed to stretch and I must have stayed too long because for the first time I had back pain.
The lower part is swollen. It goes down with aspercreme and Ibuprofin, but if I do too much lifting, it sets it up again and I have to be careful.
I cleaned a little. I went over the holidays and enjoyed remembering Christmas with my children. I can still hear the giggles and see the sparkle in my grandchildren’s eyes as Christmas Day arrived.
I smile as I remember and I keep these memories close to my heart. I also, moved my painting supplies and easel to another room where the light is much better. I made a pot of home made potato soup tonight. I added my rivals and pieces of ham to it.
I have decided to step out and posting my paintings for sale. I am not a professional, so they are very reasonable. If none sell, then I know I am not to be selling them, as I am not that good. So, time shall tell. I will continue to paint, because number one, I enjoy it, it takes my mind off my issues, and I need to keep learning new techniques.
It is pretty chilly here tonight. I am surprised that it is pouring cats and dogs outside. I figured it would be snow. I am not complaining, I never was a snow person.
Here is a photo I took of my soup and a painting I am selling.
If you have lost a loved one; than you will be able to relate to this post. It is Saturday, and the plans I had made had been cancelled; so I decided to play on the computer. One thing led to another and soon I was looking through old photos I had saved.
These included images I had used here at WordPress, personal photos and documents from several years ago. I started looking at everything, and was amazed at how many sad quotes and sad things I saw on my computer.
It made me sad just looking at these. Al has been gone over two years. I still miss him bad, but I don’t need the images of angels, and death quotes etc. Without thinking further, I cleaned my photos. It took me a couple hours, but after I was finished, I had cleaned my mind of sad things.
I am ready to move on and didn’t even realize it. There are still songs, and coca-cola items and pictures of Al and my parents that can bring me to tears, but I am so much further along in my healing process that a year ago. Christmas is the hardest time for me, so all I have to do now is lean on my family and friends, and I, too, shall get through this holiday.
The painting below, is my latest painting I did last evening.
<a href=”http://fineartamerica.com/shop/canvas+prints/landscape” style=”font: 10pt arial; text-decoration: underline;”>landscape canvas prints for sale</a>
When my dad passed away and then after taking care of my brother for seven years, and he passed; I was lost, sad and very lonely. It took me a while, but I eventually turned to my camera for comfort.
I took photos of everything I saw. I laugh out loud when I think of some of the things I placed in focus. I guess it has been about two and a half years now that I have been playing? with my camera.
One thing has never changed about this. When I am drilling on the past and the sadness overcomes me, my camera definitely helps me forget everything and everyone. Sometimes this is all it takes to turn my day better.
As the months passed, I began posting and sharing my photos on Facebook. I slowly started getting comments and maybe I thought a little ahead of myself, I must be good at this. Maybe I have a tiny bit of talent.
I allowed myself to think about money and photos, so I opened an account at Fine Art America. I chose the free membership for about three months, but the space was limited. For a small yearly membership, I could post and hope to sell one photo; so I advanced to that membership.
I was still building comments and that made me feel good; but on my FAA account, I thought I was awful, no talent, I was a fool. I went on and on kicking myself from here to heaven.
I decided I needed to hear the truth; so I started a forum in conversations. I plainly asked for the truth about my photos. Guess what? I got it, the truth and nothing but the truth. At first I was hurt, but then I became thankful.
I received some very good advice, about my camera, my website, and the photos I placed on there. I learned more about pixels, cropping, and all kinds of goodies. The only thing I haven’t learned completely, is whether I have any talent or not.
I decided last evening that I love my camera, no matter what. If friends and strangers want to give me a good thumbs up on my photos, God bless them. I won’t quit, because it is a very important part of healing for me against all pain.
I did although, revamp my FAA account. I deleted photos that I must have been so tired when I posted them, I had to laugh at myself and wonder why I did. Of course, no one would buy that one or this one.
I added more information about myself and why I have the site. I changed settings on my camera and have been playing, or I should say experimenting with it in different ways now.
If I am lucky enough to sell a photo, God blessed me, and if not, oh well, I am healing.
I have another WordPress site that I post my photos on if you care to look.
https://throughmyeyes1954.wordpress.com/2016/09/17/my-photography-49/
My FAA link is;
Who I am 