Sometimes Others Just Don’t Get It

Am I crazy?

Lazy or just plain dumb?

Should I return to my crib

And suck back on my thumb?

Sometimes a human can toss a knotted-less rope

My hands are too slippery and I miss that chance

To make others understand

I don’t want to sing to your dance.

What were the right words

To say unto you

That you may hear my truth

In all that you do.

So many others hit walls and are stopped

They try explaining their feelings to a non-ticking clock

We return to our homes and we wish they’d live in our shoes

I wonder how they’d feel and what would they do

.Invisible illness and anything rare

Is something we fight straight from our chairs

Every day praying someone will understand

We’ll keep our hope until they raise their hands.

Written by,Terry Shepherd09/30/2021

We Are Stronger Than We Think

What do you do when you are fighting symptoms that will remain with you until death and you discover another soul in life needs your help? You pray. Yes, you pray. When you have gone the routes that I and most others have taken first, which is to figure things out yourself and then you realize you are not staying ahead of the game, you finally remember to turn to the one who will answer all of your prayers; God.

I am in that position now. Strength and will power, an inner drive to be of help to others does take its toll on a body and yet you want and at times need to push forward. Every day there is a lost soul somewhere, maybe standing or sitting right next to you. Many have too much pride to ask for help so they continue to suffer.

When the opportunity rises and you can be of help to another but you just don’t think you have the energy or the time, turn to God and ask him to help you. This is our job here on earth. It is what God wants us to do. Love and be kind to others. Talk to them about God and help them get to the point where Jesus heals them in the only way he knows best.

I will continue to pray and do what I know needs to be done. It does me good to be there for others and it takes my mind off of my own aches and pains and life’s daily problems.


It has been over two weeks since I finished my medication for my bronchitis. I still have that nagging cough remaining but can tell it is getting better. I went to the hospital and had my MRI. It was a real experience.

The machine took up the entire room. It reminded me of a big flying saucer and all white. There was a large table with lights and there were lots of magnets. It took some time for the tech to position me exactly how  he wanted me.

Wedges placed between my legs to lift them, between my arms so nothing touched anything and under my neck. My head was wrapped inside a plastic thing that looked like an over-sized football helmet and a cloth was placed over my eyes. All I saw was darkness.

After I was rolled under the lights, I heard rumbles or vibrations. These were making the neurons in my brain bounce in all directions. The rumbles went at different speeds and tones and was measured. Each set lasted three minutes and the entire process took a little over half an hour.

The conclusion came back clear. It doesn’t really mean anything to come back clear. Many neurological testings show nothing but yet we can all see there is definitely something going on.

I have my choice to go next to Cleveland Clinic for more testing. I can’t make up my mind but I’m leaning on the not going. I already know I have Ataxia. I have every symptom, so why waste more money on finding nothing.

Many MSA patients like my brother never found anything positive. The symptoms are what really told the diagnosis. I fit into this category also.

I have an appointment with my Science of Neurology doctor May 3rd. I will tell him about my MRI and my new symptoms.

I am progressing in my weakness and unsteadiness. My newest symptom is a little hard to explain. I walk a straight line but while walking my body drifts off to the right. Sort of weird but I have had it going on now a little over a week. I guess I will make my decision based on what this neurologist says.

Neurology is so mysterious. Everything happens within the brain. Nothing definite is usually found until after death testing. I just make up my mind to go for today. Hope for the best and do the best I can.