Ever Wonder Who I Am Looks Like?

Here I am. I am the writer and photographer behind this blog. I live in Warsaw, Indiana. I have three grown children and I think, 11 grandchildren. I was a caregiver and traveled throughout Indiana for many years and then became a private caregiver for elderly and Hospice patients.

Now I have Parkinsonism/Dystonia/Ataxia. I live in a retired community building and spend my time painting, or being the photographer for the social events here. Yesterday, I was nominated for Secretary for the next year. In April I will learn whether I was voted in or not. I really don’t mind if I lose or win; I was thought of.

I am pretty quiet, but at times I can be a real chatterbox. I love to take my scooter or car and go to the lake and take photos. I love campfires, seeing the smiles on my family’s faces and making memories.

I am an Advocate for a rare illness called; Multiple System Atrophy. I have a Facebook page called Multiple System Atrophy through a caregiver’s eyes, where families, patients and caregivers can view postings that hopefully bring a smile. You may chat with me about questions you have about this rare illness.


I have published two books and am writing a third. The first book is called Dahlia. It is an uplifting story about never giving up. The second book is a general based book on Multiple System Atrophy. These two books can be purchased through Amazon or Kindle. The third book I am writing is in no holding back the truth about Multiple System Atrophy. Many readers let me know they wanted to know more. I had held back because it is such a horrifying disease; but in this third book, I will be spilling my guts. I think the name of it will be, A Hell of a Disease. We shall see if that sticks.Al_his_life_and_MSA_Cover_for_Kindle

Well, that about does it. If you have questions about who I am, talk to me.


Just Saying

I haven’t been on for a few days due to moving. I moved back up north into my son’s home. As I get older, this moving stuff is getting to be a pain, and takes it out of me; but I got through it.

My car which had some major issues,  had a great deal of money spent on it, but with no guarantee it is fixed. I made it the six hour trip with no issues, so I am giving my thanks to God for keeping me safe.

I have been released from the fear of two doctors suspecting I had Leukemia. Upon the third month of blood work, I was told I didn’t have it after all. Another thanks goes to God. I am not ready to die yet, but hopefully, my belief in God is strong enough, so when it is my time, I am going to a better place.

Do you notice as you get older, your beliefs change a little? I have noticed it for myself. What once was funny is not now. I used to be able to swear and not even blink an eye. I don’t do that any longer and I don’t care to be around those who do. If I say something I feel is wrong, I immediately ask for forgiveness.

My music taste has changed. My taste buds have changed. Some things I have thought were so important, just aren’t anymore. What about you? What have you noticed about yourself?

Yesterday and today, I received gifts that I had owned at one time earlier. It felt good to see these items, and took me back to times that I really was enjoying the younger me. I used to laugh until I almost wet myself. I used to be a talk-aholic. Today, I am much more quiet.

I sometimes think it is my age. Other times I believe it is things that have happened in my life that have changed me. Then there are times, I ponder on what people say and end up making a blog out of it.

I have two published books, Dahlia and Al his life & MSA. I finally got the courage up to blunder my way through my publishing company and now these two books can be found on Kindle. You can still get them in print, but Kindle is much cheaper. So that is something I did just for me.

Today, I joined a site that I am able to sell my photos online. Now, whether I actually sell any or not will be determined on what others think of my work, and of course God will make this new adventure work or maybe not work. So there is something else I did for myself.

I guess I am trying to say, that I am still working on my goal. My goal of not worrying what others think or do. That is their life, their choices. I am doing what I want to try, whether I succeed or not.

I used to believe that to think of myself, was too much pride or selfish, but I don’t believe that anymore. In order to be me, I have to please me, and that makes a healthier gal, right?


Envelope Pushers


When was the last time you took a risk (big or small), and pushed your own boundaries — socially, professionally, or otherwise? Were you satisfied with the outcome?


The last thing I did that was outside the box of what I do normally is write two books and publish them. The first book I wrote, called Dahlia, is an inspiring story. I thought it so well related to today’s living. Problems arise and we can make one of two choices. We can stand tall and break through the rocky road, or we can give up and move towards something else. This is what this book is about. I have had quite a few compliments on this book which made me feel pretty good.


The second book was written while my brother Al was going through the struggles of MSA. I finished the book soon after his death. This is full of Al’s story of his life and how we dealt with the horrible disease, which is quite rare. I wrote this book in hope that other families and caregivers would not be in such fear as they walked with their loved ones through the different stages.

Both of these books can be purchased through Create Space or at Amazon.

I am disappointed with my second book. The book is alright. It is the hope that I lost from writing the book. My hope continued to the point where I hoped to teach others through a class or have professionals want to read it. I feel like I have not carried on Al’s name by helping others.

There is so little known about this terrible illness, but the ones who are familiar with it; the ones living through it, I wanted so much to be able to help them.

book 2

I Made it in the Newspaper

There is an online newspaper here in our local area. I was fortunate enough to be talked to about MSA and my newly published book, Dahlia.

I am excited and happy and I wanted to share it with you.

Here are the two links. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.


















Take A Chance On Me

http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP,

What’s the biggest chance you ever took? Did it work out? Do tell!

What’s the biggest chance I remember taking? I guess the answer would be myself.

Growing up with parents who loved me but I couldn’t hear or see it until I was grown myself didn’t help me to soar through life.

Being in a marriage that didn’t end happily ever after fed fuel to the fire of no confidence. Add to this bowl of life being over-weight and considered chubby plus just an ordinary kid equaled low on the totem pole for me.totem pole

The jobs I mainly have held have been inside people’s homes or right here at my own home. This didn’t give me much to go on with building new relationships. It also allowed me to stay sort of hidden from view.

Through learning so much about health and medicine, I dug into books and googling. People started asking questions. I wrote my first book and published it, called Dahlia.

I started coming out of my inner shell and began to look closely at myself in the mirror. I really didn’t see anything spectacular but I did see eyes that showed I was a caring person.

I decided to take a chance on me and let others know I was eager to teach and show what I had learned throughout my years. Now I have friends once again. I meet many strangers that turn into friends quickly.

I get up and get dressed. I thank God for making me who I am daily. I splash some make-up on and I try to live each day the best way I can. I cry and I smile for what Al has given to me and I always tell him I love him at least once a day by looking up into the heavens.

I think I had to live and experience the sad times of health with Al in order to start to become and do what God put me here for. I don’t know what will happen but I do think I am worth taking a chance on.

Hello my Extended Family, Yes You

Coming home from my daughter’s house was the hardest thing ever. Walking into a quiet home was disturbing to my soul. No sounds from the air mattress machine. No Hospice or caregivers. Just me and my thoughts.

I couldn’t take it. Too many stabs at my heart and too many tears so I had to make a change.

Starting yesterday, I painted my living room. Today, I painted my bedroom. My living room had not been painted since I moved here two years ago. This past fall I took two walls and put up that new paneling that looks like lime stone bricks. Yesterday I painted the third wall the color of the cement. It is a very pale chocolate. It warmed up the room and brightened the panel boards.

My bedroom was white and now it is pink. Somewhere between a soft pink and a pink, pink. It took me all day. I guess because I am getting to be older. Paint a little, take a little break, but it is done now and I am proud of what I have done. We shall see how my muscles feel tomorrow morning from having to pull out furniture from the wall and moving my bed from one wall to another.

Tomorrow, I am going to the room I have tried so hard not to walk into. Al’s room is the last room to paint. I bought an antique, light yet warm peach color. This room will always hold memories of everything that has to do with Al, but now it will also hold a part of me too.

It will be my antique room. There will be two, three foot lit Christmas trees. A rocker that I inherited from my girlfriend. My mother’s cedar chest. Of course Al’s TV is still there. All of his collection of cars will remain where they are. The many coca cola framed photos will come down and I will replace them with my Victorian children framed pictures.

Al’s big coca cola clock shall remain hanging and other pieces he loved so dear. For now the rest will be placed in his closet until I decide what to do next. I am looking for a short, old-fashioned couch to place in there. The idea is to walk in and feel warmth and vintage. I can watch TV or DVD’s or sit in quietness and enjoy the lit trees. It will always grace Al in my mind but since we are siblings, I figured why not add a little of me too.

I wanted to add a piece of information I learned today. The debt of the Social Security check is now been relieved. The treasury department interceded and stopped the payment to Al’s account. Therefore there is nothing to pay back.

The nursing home debt is still waiting and I am trying very hard to save monies back for it. I want to thank each of you that have donated to the debt on Pay it Forward. Thank-you so much. Every little bit is helping, let me tell you!!!


Also, I want to thank anyone who has purchased my first book, Dahlia. It seems people are purchasing it through Amazon.com. I can see the purchases but I can’t see who buys it, so thank-you. You know who you are.

Dahlia front cover

Amazon and My Book, Dahlia

You can now purchase my book through Amazon. I decided to take a peek and see if it was there yet, and it was. So for any of you who were waiting for it to be included at this site, now it is.




Dahlia front coverDahlia back cover