This morning, the icky feelings started coming back. Slight dizziness, a little more wobbly, and I think as the day goes by, I will have to use my walker.
I am a fighter, but sometimes I have to slow down as this illness progresses. I am going to try to ignore my feelings and continue to ask God for healing, but play it safe and use my good judgement.
I sure wish I knew what made those past three days so totally awesome. I would practice it each day. I have to believe that good days are given as a gift and as a booster to fight harder the next bad day.
When days become tough, I think back to the childhood song I used to see on the Television.
I think I can, I think I can.
For anyone struggling day after day with issues, we must draw strength first from God, then our families and friends, and of course this motivational, cute little song.
You all have a good day. I know I am going to try.
I headed for day number two of being able to walk pretty good. A little wobble is better than a large wobble in my opinion. Anyways, I picked up my friend who also loves the camera and we headed for the park. We took some photos and I want to share them with you. You can see the rest of my photos on my Facebook page.
I live in a city in northern Indiana. I am not sure why I am even stating that fact; as it doesn’t seem to really matter. This happens in about any town that has any politicians involved.
There are crimes, and then there are crimes. Get what I mean? Some of the crimes in my opinions are so petty, and being locked up provides certain luxuries that some senior citizens would give their right arm to receive plus the fact it is taking up valuable space for those crimes more serious, and of course, you know who is footing these bills of three meals and a shower, right?
I am not able to speak on experience. Crap, I am just a pebble on the beach in our town. No one really knows who I am, and with what happens inside the box, I don’t think I would want to be discovered, so I will just remain one of many pebbles.
What gets my goat though worse than anything is crime. Now if I don’t report any changes within ten days to the government, any or all of my benefits can be ripped away for long periods of time, and maybe permanent too. There could also be a threat of jail time, and like I said, I am a nobody, and I did pay into the system for a time, so of course any benefits I receive, weren’t mine in the beginning, right?
Then there is the ones who have a name, have some money sitting under the mattress and in the bank, and they commit a crime, and suddenly it is not labeled a crime or the guilty get pushed under a new name, a new category, and BINGO, all charges are forgiven or suspended.
I can’t say the crime. I don’t know if I would get in trouble or a knock at my door, so I will just say, it has been on the news, plastered on the internet, so I have to believe that there was truth in what happened at one point.
All I am trying to point out here is this; if you do the crime, I don’t give a hoot what your last name is or how many bundles you got in the bank, pay the price. You are no better than me or any other pebbles in this world.
People, quit giving the bad guys a break. How about giving a break to those of us older people who are fighting to eat every day, pay our rents and utilities, get rides to the doctors, struggle paying those co-pays. Oh shit, I could go on and on at the unbalance in our world, but hey, I am just that pebble, so who is really listening. Oh well, I feel better just getting this off my chest. I will sleep well tonight, will you?
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/matt_taibbi.html
I wish every day was like today. I had so much energy; I felt like my old self. I rearranged my living room, watered my plants, cleaned the hamster cage and swept. I admit, tonight I have some sore muscles, but I do know what it is from; today.
What is the magic ingredient I added today to be so active? If I only knew, I could cure everyone. I have no idea. I will have to just be thankful for a good day.
Tomorrow after six long months, I go to the dentist for my final fitting of my false teeth on the bottoms. I spent last year doing the same with the uppers. I will be glad it will be finally over.
For three hours tomorrow I will have no bottom teeth, while the dentist makes that final fitting with a much lighter-fitting plate. I should like that. To be quite honest, I hate both of them. The set still feels like I have something too big in my mouth, but my original teeth were bad. Every time I ate, I had to use floss to pick out every fiber of food or I would be in so much pain.
The gums had been receding for some time and the roots were starting to show. I am thankful for no pain any longer. The most embarrassing thing I endure from these babies, is biting into a sandwich. The uppers begin to slip and I have to form my muscles around them and hold them in place. ( I can’t stand the gummy stuff to hold dentures in, I gag) Pain in my rear, but better than eating liquids the rest of my life.
Friday, I go to my brother’s neurologist and hopefully, I will be told I do not have MSA; just Parkinson’s. The neuro is very smart about MSA and would you believe he examined my brother once and diagnosed him with MSA?
Multiple System Atrophy is a rare disease that is neurological. It breaks all ties during the illness of nerves going from the brain to action. Eventually you end up with a frozen shell, who is very much alive inside. There is no cure. The life span is an average of seven years.
I teach Hospice groups about MSA and I am an advocate for the disease. On my Facebook page, I am very active with caregivers, patients and families. I so wish I could do more, but at this point I don’t know what. I would give my left arm to be able to afford to go to one of the National meetings MSA holds within the U.S., but it takes money to get there and money to spend the night. My biggest hope ever is to meet a woman is has this disease, but carries herself high and has been a close friend of mine ever since my brother began his journey with MSA. Her name is Bonnie. I want to meet her so bad. She is from Canada, but does make trips here to the U.S.A. Perhaps someday, my dream will become a reality.
My Gift From God
When we wish upon that star
And we think with all our might
We hope that God or angels
Grant our wish tonight.
There is so much to achieve
For me upon this earth
I believe with all my heart
This is my gift since birth.
I am poor as poor can be
But helping others dream
Makes me the richest of all man-kind
I actually burst from inner seams.
A kind word I can lend
A question answered too
Helps others have less fear
It’s what I’m here to do.
Yesterday, the tremors finally stopped. I felt like a new woman. It was rough during those times. Walking is very difficult because when my legs tremor, they also become weak.
I read this post on Facebook about a woman who also has Parkinson’s. She had been in a public place and someone made a comment loud enough for her to her. It was pertaining to her being drunk. Thankfully, she put them in their place.
I have thought that too about myself. How do I look to others? How bad do I sway back and forth? Do I look drunk to others?
No one knows unless you have gait issues, how hard we fight to look and act so called “normal”. For me, I have to concentrate very hard to walk as straight as possible. When in public, I have no choice but to hang on to the cart, or ride the public scooter. If I know I am going some place without special equipment offered; I take my brother’s scooter.
Stores are not thinking about wheelchairs and scooters when they display their clothing and miscellaneous racks. I went to Macy’s. There were several areas my scooter, which is not a big one, could not fit through the small spaces; especially the purse department. I had to get off my scooter if I wanted to look closely at choices offered, or forget looking all together and move on to a different area. I wish businesses would consider a different layout for their racks. Should I let Macy’s know my thoughts?
I don’t get out too often. When I have doctor’s visits, I try to stop at my son’s house. It is a mood lifter for sure. The grandchildren are there, and I can guarantee some good laughs.
I also live a half-hour from my home town and it may not be a big issue to most; but for me, keeping my feet on the gas pedal is something of a chore. This causes me to stay around my own area more or stay at home. I sometimes wonder how much longer I will be able to drive, but I don’t like to think of that.
When we become older, life changes, and most of these changes occur with looks, strength, and the ability to run around like we used to. I like to go to town during the week days. The weekend days are filled to the brim in the stores with people, children running, and plain chaos.
Some things in my life I don’t get as upset over as I did when I was younger. An example would be a spotless home. I used to be a fanatic about it, but no more. Now I give myself a pat on the back, like tonight. No tremors, so I was able to mop the kitchen and bathroom floor and sweep the house. It felt good. You have to grab those good moments and run with them, in case the next day is a set-back.
Life is good when it is good, and it is bad when it is bad. I vote for the good to continue.
One day you look into your mirror
And you reach up and touch your face
You notice dips and drops
Taking up once silky space.
The years, they slip right by us
Most times we just don’t see
Or perhaps we just ignore them
Praying time will stop and seize.
Years of smiles around the lips
Worry lines around the eyes
Hard work has lined its marks
Dark circles from saying goodbyes.
A history we now wear
With pride for what we’ve done
You smile back at yourself
Realizing a new chapter has begun.
Why is there so much pain in the world? Everywhere I look someone is hurting. Whether in reality, Facebook, family or friends, pain is brought up often. Pain does more than just hearing words about it.
It affects our own attitude and outlook on our lives. It hurts us deep inside, when we know there are those hurting around us. We can feel helpless. We can stress and worry. It is different when it is our pain. We deal with it the best we can.
When it is the other person, it can take over as I said above. We can see our children suffering from their own mistakes. We can wish they would not have done what they did. When our mates say hurtful things through an argument, this pain can be carried within our hearts for more than a few months.
There is the deliberate pain that others can cause also. When family and friends choose to ignore our existence, this can be a pain bigger than being hit. When we see the wrong and learn that no matter how much talking or giving hugs, doesn’t help, that kind of pain hurts deeply also.
It seems that most pain is caused between two people that love each other, whether it is parent/ child, friend/ friend, it is the deepest.
Pains from injuries, cancers, terminal illness all hurt too, but we can do something about it. We can offer prayers, take food to their home, sit and talk with them, hold their hand. We have so many more options when it is this kind of pain.
The world is a good place to live but there are things that hurt us and we have to learn which way we are going to deal with it. The last thing I want to say on this topic is I will give a quote used many times. If you read it over and over and let it sink in, it makes very good sense.
So for now, look at the pain you are dealing with. Decide whether it can be fixed, or does it need to be let go. Hugs to everyone. Have a good Saturday evening.
- God, give me grace to accept with serenity
- the things that cannot be changed,
- Courage to change the things
- which should be changed,
- and the Wisdom to distinguish
- the one from the other.
- Living one day at a time,
- Enjoying one moment at a time,
- Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
- Taking, as Jesus did,
- This sinful world as it is,
- Not as I would have it,
- Trusting that You will make all things right,
- If I surrender to Your will,
- So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
- And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
I saw a quote fly through my Facebook page yesterday. It hit me hard as I have lost a few good friends. One I had never met in person, but knew well from Facebook. The other I knew.
It tears at my heart when there is a loss in my life. A few years back, I lost my first good friend through Facebook. It made it a reality. instead of just a Facebook. I wept for some time over not being able to s speak to him anymore. He was an awesome guy, who lived in a wheelchair; but his attitude about life, was better than most walking people’s were.
Then there was another time I had a male friend, Andre, from the Netherlands. He was awesome. His wife and him and I , had shared many phone conversations. Christmas and birthday gifts and cards were exchanged. It was one of the best relationships I thought I would ever experience; but I was wrong. There were more relationships to come. Andre passed away at the age of 86, and I still miss him today.
There is Viveka G. who is one of my dearest friends. A dream to meet her would be so awesome. Ute L. is another friend I have made who stuck by me through thick and thin throughout Al’s illness. Marilyn G. and her husband came up to meet me and Al. It was the best visit. They are a wonderful, loving couple. These ladies are my blogger friends here at WordPress. Now these ladies are alive and well, and they better stay that way, or else!! LOL
Another blogger friend I miss so bad is Sandra Callahan. Oh the times we spent talking and writing to each other. My heart still breaks. I lost her friendship last week. Yesterday, I lost another friend, whom I knew in person and here at Facebook. Ruth Bettinger Nichols. She passed away from cancer.
Who ever says you can’t make friends through the Facebook, have never truly been involved with this site. To, these friends, I will miss you. To those who I still chat with, I won’t let you go. I WILL TREASURE TODAY AND MISS YESTERDAY
I hope God enjoys your friendship as much as I did.