Ah, The Hell With It

When you look in the mirror
Do you see horror or do you laugh
Do you recognize the person
Or do you feel you’ve been given the shaft?
When you crawl out of bed
Do you do it with ease
Or do you stop and fumble
Feels like falling to the knees.
If you rolled up your hair
And put make-up on your face
Do you think this would help
Make you feel part of the race?
When you go potty first thing
Do you look at your skin
Have you noticed the bags
That hang from your shins?
When you slip into clothes
Do you go for the look
Or do you put clothes on for comfort
Like a fish on a hook.
When you turn on the TV
And you see those faces
Does it make you want to go out
Buying up all make-up places?
I went through my stages
Of trying to keep up
Now I’ve decided to be comfy
And quit wondering what’s up.
Written by,.
Terry Shepherd

Merry Freakin Christmas!!!!

Tis the Christmas season. Time to be stressed, underpaid, overworked and the biggest, pretend smile ever right? Nah, some really do enjoy that push and shove time of year. The time the gift you are holding and thinking to yourself, “Will they like this?”, and the lady behind you yanks it right out of your hand.

The time of year that you definitely have that grocery list of the most needed items and you find that the prices have doubled since last week. Makes you want to let the cart remain right there in the middle of the aisle and let people go around it if they want to shop. You are definitely leaving without the filled list and going to the neighborhood bar.

Remember that Christmas a few years back when you worked the hardest ever on that special candy recipe. You only had a few more degrees to raise the candy thermometer to when suddenly the front doorbell rang? You looked at the boiling candy. You thought how rude it would be to not answer the door, especially when every, stinking light was on in the house. You decide to answer it and gently and politely tell the person that you can’t chat; to come back at another time. You aren’t interested in any sales pitch.

You hurry to the door, brushing the hairs away from your face. You open it and to your surprise it is the members from your church that you have attended for over twenty years. They start singing Christmas carols. Oh my gosh! My candy! My friends. You put on that fake smile and you prop one leg on the other as if you have to pee real bad. When they are finished; you return to that black boiled, stuck on pan of candy.

Hey! Wait a darn, picking minute! It’s your life too, right? You can make decisions at this time of year also, right? Just do what I do. Don’t open the door. Turn the lights on low. Only cook after everyone is in bed. Turn your favorite Christmas music on. Grab a cup of hot chocolate. Prop your feet up. Breathe deep and smile. Hug the night.

Merry Christmas my friends!


Laugh for your day

I was invited to a Senior luncheon today by a resident in my building. I have been to this church a few times before and discovered the people to be very nice. It is a country church with a wonderful minister and a congregation with a country atmosphere.

So, anyways, I sat between the gentleman who invited me and a gentleman that I recognized his face; but didn’t know his name. I enjoyed a wonderful meal. These people should be on T.V. shows because they cook so awesome. I can always guarantee to overeat and gain a pound.

I had chicken and meatloaf, along with a couple of light desserts. I only took a couple of bites of each dessert to save my sugar numbers. Hey! It wasn’t like I wasted any food! I did eat some of it.

Well, anyways, the luncheon was over and we were all sitting there chatting and letting the food digest when the gentleman on my side leaned into me and asked,” do you want a kiss?” I said.”what did you say?” He came back with, “do you want a kiss.” I replied with a kind, no thank-you.

He smiled and turned away and I watched him grab a dark chocolate Hershey kiss. He unwrapped it and popped it in his mouth and looked at me and smiled. I blushed and reached over and picked myself up a piece of chocolate and popped it in my mouth and smiled back. We each went on with our chatting with the other guests.



Laugh or Cry Over It

Yesterday, I had an assessment with Real Services for help with a couple of things that have to do with my falls. I was turned down flat. Two reasons, I am not 65 and the other reason was I am not nursing home ready yet.

Really, are you kidding me? Do you realize how crappy most nursing homes are? We, the people stand together and agree that not one of us would enjoy giving up our own homes, apartments, living quarters and trading it all in on a cold, dingy room, perhaps filled with a grumpy roommate and eating foods we don’t recognize.

I will add here, that not all nursing homes are bad; there are some quality ones, but I still don’t want to go to one. I explained how I am trying to use preventive care for my health so I don’t end up in one of those places. No deal; she said. Wow, what good is Real Services, if we can’t get help until we are ancient in age.

This morning I went for my Wellness check. They are pretty detailed, going over all you have and have not done throughout the year. I go to the doctor on a regular basis, but when your insurance offers restaurant gift cards for going; I say ME!

It went well until it came to the exercise section. No, I don’t do jumping jacks, I don’t race down the street. I don’t do hurdles. I do however, hang onto my kitchen counters and exercise my legs by standing on my tippie- toes and then count; up, down, up, down. I do pull in my stomach muscles on a thought of basis; which is quite often throughout the day. I am trying to keep my before child stomach. LOL.

I am considering talking to a clinic here for Yoga classes. Maybe it would help my core balance, but then again, that takes gas and getting out in the winter driving and cold and ice. Perhaps they have a seasonal pass for nice weather? LOL

She asked if I could dress myself. I said yes, as long as I don’t do buttons or have to squeeze my fat into a pair of size 2 pants. She smiled at me. She asked if I showered by myself. I stated of course, I don’t have a boyfriend or husband, but I do grab the multiple grab bars in my shower and hang on tight.

I told her I do make my own bed which consist of stretching my body. I do fix my own meals; but if they are over ten minutes, I do require the assistance of sitting on my seated walker.

I explained that I do attempt walking around our building or down to the local grocery store, but when I come back, I have to nap because my body is drained and tremoring.

After it was all done and signed, she looks at me and said, “Well now, you are in pretty good shape, aren’t you?” I looked at her and said, “Of course, I am doing great for a 63 year old, who tremors, shakes and falls down. Case dismissed.

Written by my feelings and personal experience,
Terry Shepherd

#Distonia#Parkinson‘s #Ataxia



You ask about the symbol below? I was nominated for an award for being an advocate for Multiple System Atrophy. I feel quite honored.



Laughing at Myself or Maybe a Tear

Does anyone feel as I do or do you have most moments in your day filled? I am talking about single or divorced older women. I never dreamed 10 years ago, that I would spend so much time trying to think what to do next.

When you are younger, married and raising a family, you barely have enough time to think; but when the kids are grown and perhaps you are now alone, what do you do?

I love to paint, but I can’t paint all day long. I clean a lot. I talk to many on Facebook. I don’t bake much anymore because I would be heavier even more, and besides, I am a diabetic, and naturally, I would want to bake sweets. I love to write and have published a couple of books, but I am in Pause mode, as I can’t figure out how to get Open Office files on to my desktop, into a file, without all the OP garbage, I just want the chapter. I have tried and tried.

I would love to date, but I have to wonder if that will ever happen as I drift faster and faster into the Senior stages of life. Of course, I want that old-fashion gentleman, who isn’t hundreds of miles away, and so I am not really searching anymore, but hang onto HOPE.

I watch enough television for my own good, but usually have it on for noise in the background. I do have a roommate, but still have the place to myself most times.

When I get off this computer and stand up, all I hear is silence. I get so frustrated. I never dreamed, as I said before, life would be this way.

Perhaps I live too much in the past with those oldie TV programs. Kids grow up, then there are bridge clubs, luncheons, phone conversations.

The only good I feel that I do is love my kids and grandkids and help and chat with many on Facebook.

Don’t get me wrong, I really am not on a pity party. I just get sick of doing nothing. I don’t have to be the head person, I just have to feel, feel what? Here, I am stalling, thinking, what is the proper word I want to use. Be noticed? Be wanted? Be loved?

I don’t know. I am loved. My family loves me. I am sure, no positive, they would miss me a lot if I passed away, so what is it that I need? Wish I knew.

It’s like, come on phone, ring, message, someone say, hey, haven’t seen you for a while, wanna do lunch? Man, as I look back at this post, I laugh. I think, what a baby you are. Get over it. You are sixty-two, you had your chances. You are older now, you are supposed to be sitting and watching TV, what? waiting to die?


Hello, This is The Operator, May I Help You?


I saw this photo on my streaming Facebook page. It brought back good memories of my own working days. My father got me my first job. He knew the owners of a fantastic Chinese restaurant and he told them I needed a job. I was immediately hired. Remember those days when knowing someone could land you a job?

My  next job was a telephone operator. I had to take six weeks of classes before I could actually be let loose on the switch board. In the classes, from what I remember, I had plenty of paper work on learning how to connect with customers without actually seeing them in person.

I liked my job. Back then, I was young and was able to pull off the split shifts I worked so much. I was then transferred to third shift and didn’t like it as well; because it could be quite boring.

When I did get calls coming through, it was usually from hotels guests, visitors in town or drunks. I have to admit those were quite funny to listen to. One of the perks I gained from this job, was free local service from the phone company and as many lines and phones I wanted. To an eighteen year old girl, I thought this was the cat’s meow. I had a phone in each room, including the bathroom. Remember when we used to rent our phones through the company? Remember those party lines?




Am I Dead Yet?

When things aren’t going well for others, I am right there in spirit. When things aren’t going alright, for the most part, I ignore or try to deny, when it comes to myself. Last night, a friend of mine made some comments that threw me into the now mode.

They weren’t made to hurt me, the comments were made because my actions are becoming quite clearly noticeable. I went to bed feeling a little down, and with the added pain I go through most days, I was anxious to welcome sleep and forget all that was said.

Are you the last one to admit changes are happening to yourself because of aging or maybe an illness? I am. I was told that I should enjoy my life more and live life to the fullest while I still can.

I understand this to a point. I do the best I can, and way in the back of my mind, I notice my changes. What was actually being said, was, my lack of walking gracefully and easily were gone and it is being noticed.

I was told I am slowing down, and I definitely notice this. I used to clean a whole house and maybe rearrange a couple of rooms also. Now, I will run the sweeper and dust, and am pooped out.

I was reminded that my veins on my legs are protruding more because my skin is more flexible now. Thankfully, I don’t suffer from pain from this and take it as part of the aging process.

All in all, the good I found in this conversation, is live life to the best you can, before it’s too late.


Getting older is not to brag

The body slows, the breasts sag

The skin once tight

Now shakes with might

Once shapely legs

Now sits and begs

For rest and rubs

And pillows fluffed

Crows feet appear

Very close to ears

Smile lines

Are strong to shine

Beautiful, thick hair

Don’t need the Nair

No more dentist visits

Dentures and pick its

We have to laugh as we all age

It’s just another line on our page.


Written by,

Terry Shepherd



me today 3

Monday? Yes

This has not been my day through  no fault of my own. I had stomach cramps last night that kept waking me up off and on. I didn’t sleep very well, naturally. Today, I was supposed to meet some friends for lunch.

I did go, but I was so tired. What happens when you are a senior citizen and you are tired? Most of what can go wrong does. I went into panic attack mode, so had to excuse myself and leave. My sugars were too low and of course I stressed over that while waiting for the meal.

I had been staying in my room way too much over the past few months, so being in a crowd of people terrified me, which set off the panic attack. I went to my home town pharmacy to pick up medications. They weren’t ready, so I became more anxious.

I did look around so I wouldn’t look like a blooming idiot through my panic attack. I was  happy to see that Yankee Candles are now sold here, so I bought a couple of tarts. I then paid for my medications.

I got in my car and the medication bag slipped out of my hand and spilled all over the floor. I bent down to pick them up and scraped the skin off my finger by something, probably a pebble. I need to clean my car out; but will wait until Spring arrives.

I went to  put my keys in the ignition and dropped them. Upon retrieving them, I suddenly began to laugh. I laughed for so long, I was crying. What a day this has been. Clumsy, tired, panicky, and stressed.

I drove home,  put my medications away, sat down on my computer chair to write this, and then guess what? I am going to lay down and take a nap. Hopefully, when I get up, I will feel rested, panic attacks will leave, clumsiness will disappear, and everything will be gently sliding into a new day.


Oh, one last thing. I wanted to mention to anyone who likes photography or my photos, I have a new WordPress blog site. https://throughmyeyes1954.wordpress.com/2016/02/22/my-photography-2/


Goodbye everyone, for now. Hope you are enjoying your Monday, yes, Monday afternoon.



Tonight, I typed in a strange concoction of a word, and got a real word. Farfetch, not really that odd of a word. It reminds me of different things. I guess I just never had put this combination together.

Of course, you are going to know the definition without my placing it here; but I will set it in place.

Sitting here on my computer typing away, my mind can wander easily. I often get some crazy ideas for writing, or I will think of ways to solve my problems. Or I may be considering what words I can say to bring comfort to others in need.

You all know that I am involved with Multiple System Atrophy. I try very hard to bring comfort, but who am I? Nothing more than someone behind this screen. Most of you have never met me, so I work hard to help comfort breaking hearts or give suggestions on what direction they may want to go next.

With this new word I discovered tonight, I will  use it to bring a little silliness to end this day. Maybe a smile or a chuckle, but no tears tonight. I have to work hard to do this because my mind is always in help mode. So, my friends, here goes nothing.


Gramps was sitting in his recliner

Watching his favorite show

When he got this itch

To get up and go.


He didn’t wanna do it

So he twisted and turned

He moaned a little loud

He turned the volume down a bit.


He was hankering for a snack

His mouth could taste it good

But he had to get her attention

But she was asleep in the sack.


He cried out her name

His voice sounding strong

This had become a big challenge

It had turned into a game


She finally appeared

Rubbing eyes with her hands

“What in the world is the matter”?

She stated and leered.


“Honey, I have a craving

Can you get me a snack

I am watching this program

I don’t want to miss a thing”.


She walked over to the shelf

She turned the TV remote off

She knocked his chair over

Saying, “Get it yourself”.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

January, 28/2016








v. t. 1. To bring from far; to seek out studiously.

To farfetch the name of Tartar from a Hebrew word.

n. 1. Anything brought from far, or brought about with studious care; a deep strategem.

Poetry Contest


The cover photo on this page represents writer’s block at a time when typewriters were in use. (Photo prompt by Marcella Leff, administrator)

You may write a poem in any one or all of these forms- HAIKU, ACROSTIC, FREE VERSE, or RHYMING QUATRAIN about writer’s block. Explanation about your poem is permissible. Photos with your post will be deleted. You may post as many poems as you want but comments are counted per poem only.

Winner will be judged by the most original comments. One person can make many comments but only counts as one comment for winning at the end of the time limit. Your own comments do not count because you cannot judge your own poem. Comments being counted begins on June 9TH, 9:30pm if this event was posted earlier than stated date/time.

Contest will be from June 9 until June16, 9:30 pm. All members are invited to enter this contest. You can add your friends to join. Challenge them.

Administrators may post examples of poems but are not eligible to win. Administrators can like your poems but their comments do not count.

A new prompt will be posted every week. Winner will be posted on the main group page.

I cover my ears wanting to scream
I feel a headache coming on
I didn’t want to see your face
A scene from way back in a dream.
You always come at the
Most inopportune times
An uninvited guest for sure
Run away,I say, go chase the cat!
I rest my head upon my arms
Tears fall into the pit of keys
I have a deadline for heaven’s sake
Come on brain, turn on that charm.
My eyes fall heavy, they rest; I sleep
I chase words in clouds of air
What’s that noise? oh crap he’s home
Now I am in trouble, way too deep.
I stand, I yawn, I scratch my head
I head for the kitchen door
I really wish I wasn’t here
I’d rather be in bed or dead.
I mix, I fry, and make a mess
I chop the lettuce  fine
I hurry and leave that heated room
Slipping  on my prettiest dress.
I fix his plate, I butter his bread
I pour him his cold beer
I watch him eat  then the light comes on
New ideas racing straight in my head.
I leave him sit, to burp and fart
I race to my set of keys
Ideas bouncing round and round
I must catch  them before they depart.
Written by,
Terry Shepherd