Wow, did we here in Indiana have some crappy weather this past week. We made new records for cold. Today, finally, the temps are above zero. I went out and cleared the knee-high snow from my car and started it. It felt almost like Spring.
Life has thrown me some curve-balls of news in the month of January. I, for one, am so thankful January is over. February will be better, even the groundhog did not see his shadow. Monday we are to be almost fifty.
I have been thinking about this winter and how it is time to do something. I have lived in my little part of the world two years. I want to go somewhere for a couple of days. I can’t afford too many people because of running into me and knocking me down. Hey, I can’t help it. I fall easily. I also don’t want lots of noise on top of noise. I want relax.
I love that word. Relax goes with calm, smile, breathing slow and easy, little stress. Isn’t it a lovely word? Without much money, what can a gal do with my thoughts? Any suggestions? Oh, by the way, in case you wonder, I live in Indiana.
Hello my friends. Well the holidays are over. No more stuffing ourselves with Thanksgiving. The change purse is dry from Christmas and now we here in the northern part of Indiana wait.
What are we waiting for? Well, some are waiting for the usual snow we have plenty of by now; but it hasn’t arrived. I’m sorry, but for me, less is more. Now that I am older, snow is my enemy unless I’m sitting inside and watching the flakes fall.
There are lots of comments being made. No snow in December or January is a promise of over-load in February and March. I don’t know the future. I will have to deal with what is given me; but for now; I am fine.
January is the longest month of the year for me. It always has been. Maybe it is because it is long and boring. No real holidays in it. The back to the normal groove thing returns and the days tick down until a lot of people get their tax refunds. At this point of the government shutdown, who knows when those tax returns will happen.
I saw a post on my Facebook a bit ago which stated,”Count the Mondays.” I got it immediately. I suppose if you live in the southern part of the country, you may not understand but up here, if you can count the Mondays in the long month of January, it will promise to get you closer to Spring.
February is a time when I will be thinking more of Spring. The farmer commercials will be posting on the television. This is a good sign that Spring is coming. I will be starting to watch for the Robins to reappear. When they arrive, it means that there will not be so much snow that they won’t be able to find food and shelter and Spring is near.
Animals say a lot about your weather. Have you ever watched the squirrels gather nuts for winter? On bad winters, you will still see the squirrels in early December, storing nuts. The Catapillars, the ones who crawl so slow and have beautiful colors, these creatures turn a dark black if our winter here in Indiana is going to be a vicious one.
As for me, I have been fighting something for four days now. I don’t have a temperature or aches and pains, but instead, I am nauseated anytime I eat. This circle includes a trip to the Ladies room no matter how little or much food I put into my mouth. I have lost four pounds in four days. I am glad I am experiencing this during our winter months.
I don’t get out much in the winter time. It’s too cold. Aged skin cracks and burns. Eyes sting, and the thoughts of playing in the snow are exchanged for will my walker get through the snow and ice. Here where I live, that is doubtful. There is not sufficient cleaning in the parking lot so there are many grooves of ice. I just don’t want to fall down at this point in my life. I do go out if it isn’t too cold or snowing and go to my volunteer job. I try to go twice a week during the winter and I will go at least three times per week or more in the warmer weather.
I didn’t go to church today. This matter of my stomach is just a little too much to deal with during a church service. I do have one thing to look forward to in the month of January, 2019. My daughter is coming for a visit. It’s been quite a while since I have seen her and am looking forward to a visit.
Another thing I am looking forward to is; my insurance is covering the expenses for me to have Life Alert for my falls. It will bring me comfort knowing I am now not alone here in the apartment, or too far away from a pull light, or definitely when I am taking a shower. It will be worn on my wrist and if I fall it triggers the alarm company. If I don’t answer the second chime, this tells the company that I am not alert. I believe from what the company said, is that I will receive my wrist band and plug in box in five to ten days.
I know this is not a big deal to most but for someone as unsteady as me and who lives alone; this can be a real life savor.
What about you? How do you get through the long month of January?
I hurt my back Sunday evening. I have babied it and taken Ibuprofin for a few days. I went back to my volunteer job today after missing Monday and was there about an hour when the pain reared its head.
I had some Ibuprofin with me so took two and went about my shift. Now, I am a bitchy, short-fused, in pain, woman. I don’t want to talk to anyone, see anyone. I just want to be mad.
I look around at my living room and it is filled with boxes, Christmas wrapping paper, tape, scissors, unwrapped gifts and plain old mess. I hate mess. I am a neat freak person. For this reason, I will be glad when Christmas is over? No, maybe just glad when these gifts are wrapped and delivered.
How did one little back swelling set me off for the rest of my day? I don’t know. A couple of years ago I leaned back on some pillows to watch TV. When I lifted my body back into a sitting up position, something pinged and my mouth opened wide in pain. I babied it for about a week and it finally got healed, but if I do something to use my back in that area, boom, it is back, the pain I mean.
I look at my kitchen and I see the papers there with the recipes I want to make for the holiday baking, but I don’t go do it. I just don’t know what is wrong with me these days. I am tired. I mean I am tired beginning a few hours after I wake. I don’t know if it is my illness, my age, or what, but I get sick of being tired. I could take three naps a day, every day if I could.
Well, I surely hope your Wednesday is smoother than mine. I am ready to get my P.J.’s on but it isn’t bedtime, besides, I am doing laundry. So, how is your day going?
Yesterday; it was peaceful, refreshing, and I loved it. I loved everything about the weather. It was perfect, sunny and breezy.
The only thing that wanted to make me rush home was the stares from others who don’t know me. I guess it is a common thing to do; but I don’t like being stared at. I was a gal, riding a scooter, toting a camera around my neck, who looked like I didn’t belong on a scooter.
I work hard to stand. I work hard to not fall. I don’t want the stares really. It makes me want to stop my scooter and explain my story; but it really isn’t my job to do this to those I don’t know their names.
I don’t know if others do this and maybe it is because my brother was mentally challenged; but when I see someone with special needs, and I have the opportunity, I go to them and say hello. I am usually welcomed with a big smile.
While on my journey last evening, a friend of mine saw me and made her presence known to me. You see, the sun was directly in my eyes, so I was blind sighted.
She was in the company of a special needs gentleman. At first glance, I would not have guessed he was special needs. The three of us chatted and exchanged hugs. It was a nice few moments.
No one stared at him like they do me. He was walking and talking and enjoying himself. I was riding and talking and enjoying myself.
I guess the point of my story is; we all have needs. Some of our needs are visible, some are not. We all have love to give and we all want to feel loved. We all want to be accepted.
Try not to stare too long at those who look different than you. We all have our story.
Written by my feelings,
Terry Shepherd
P.S. Photos will come soon from my latest adventure.
I have Dystonia. You wonder what that is? It is involuntary movement of muscles. Mine is at the moment in my foot. I have seen it do it before; but then it left. This time it has remained for the sixth day.
a state of abnormal muscle tone resulting in muscular spasm and abnormal posture, typically due to neurological disease or a side effect of drug therapy.
Most cases of dystonia do not have a specific cause. Dystonia seems to be related to a problem in the basal ganglia. That’s the area of the brain that is responsible for initiating muscle contractions. The problem involves the way the nerve cells communicate.Sep 11, 2016
My shoes that I feel most comfortable in are not working right now. When I get out of bed, the pain is quite intense. When I lay down at night, my toes curl under, just like in the photo above.
I have called my Neurologist and am waiting on a prescription for muscle relaxer. I hope it works.
I have a wonderful doctor that immediately diagnosed my brother with his rare disease; Multiple System Atrophy. Since I was his sister, I was able to get an appointment with him for my diagnosis of Parkinsonism/Dystonia/Ataxia.
He is a neurologist of science. He is very smart. I recommend him for any neurological disease that you are having a difficult time getting diagnosed.
I am one of those kids who had two moms. My first mom and my dad were divorced before I was five. I tried for years to locate her because I knew deep down inside, she must have always loved me.
I did locate her when I was in my thirties. I flew out to her home. In fact, I flew out to Arizona a few times, even moved there for a short time. It didn’t work. She was a mess? She was hung up on the past and couldn’t see me as an adult. She was probably the worst mom I ever had. She passed away a few years back. God rest her soul.
My second mom married my dad when I was five. I don’t have excellent memories of her as a child. Partly due to my jealousy of a new baby, half-sister. I know I gave my mom grief, but she tolerated me.
Growing into a teen wasn’t easy for either of us. I bucked and she stood her ground. My jealousy continued for years as I saw the difference in showings of affection. There were hurtful conversations and separations at times, but she still stayed my mom.
When I was grown and had children, we became closer, but not in a bonding type. She loved my kids and I know she loved me the best she knew how. Times were better, but I could have worked harder at being a better daughter.
There came a time when I began losing family to heaven, and I also came to know God better. About two years before her passing, I committed to getting to know her as a woman and mom.
I am glad I did. She did a ton of awesome things in our community. She helped others without reward. She was a woman of God and believed strongly in her faith. She tolerated a less than perfect home life, shed some personal tears, but kept marching forward.
One day soon after her retirement she had an incident that landed her in the hospital in a coma. I comforted my father while we watched her leave us. I held her hand and whispered to her how sorry I was for all I had done and I told her how much I loved her.
She passed away within a week, but with all my training in the medical field, I believe with all my heart, she heard every word I said. I have no regrets to the commitment I made towards patching our relationship. I understand better today how easy it was to sway towards a biological child over a step child.
I had the best step-mom ever. Today, although she is in heaven, I dedicate this post to her; Donnis A. Miller.
It is wonderful to feel back to myself today. I wrote my post yesterday and I let out my feelings on my Facebook page. Many prayers were said and words of encouragement.
Today, I have not run into any walls. Isn’t this wonderful? I have tremors, but not as much as yesterday.
I know that I can’t rid my Parkinson’s, but reaching out to others does help. I have always had too much pride to ask others for things of any type. I am glad I changed my view on that.
I want to thank all who let me know their feelings. Big hugs.
This darn thing of getting older is really starting to get to me. I usually have no issue with remembering anything from long ago, but this short-term memory, lack of, is bothering me big time.
Why am I telling you all this? Because, I need help, so I am coming to you. Sounds so silly since I have written and published two books, but the problem is I can’t remember how to save what I wrote in Open Office to a folder on my desktop.
I can save it, the page, but when I open the file, and click on the title, it shows my work, but it shows it in its entity. I don’t want any part of Open Office showing, only the text part. What in the world am I doing wrong? Please talk to me, if you can help me. Other wise, I am only writing for myself.
I am stuck in a day. Sounds silly doesn’t it? I am moving along through each hour, but I am making no advances on anything.
I am still taking my photographs. Did you know I have a separate photo page here at WP? It is called Throughmyeyes1954. Check it out sometime. It has my photos I take on it.
I have been on a poetry writing spree as of late. I can’t seem to get my mind started on short story writing for some reason. I have a lot of new things on my mind, and I think experiencing these new places is deterring me from my writing.
I hope that very soon, I will go back to that place I know so well; but for now, I hope you enjoy poetry and photos!
Thoughts scrambled in my mind
Racing over time
No certain place to go
No one can even know
What goes on inside the cube
Needs peace and oil-lubed
A mental stutter note
It goes a stray and floats
A writer’s block is what
This gal does seem to got.
Who I am 