Like snow in your winter days? Then don’t come visit Indiana. We have nothing but above normal temps and rain. It can be a gloomy time or you can huddle in your favorite P.J.s and watch a movie, write on your blog or play on FB, like I am.
I met-up with my girlfriend this morning and we shared breakfast and chat. I love the time we spend together and when I am driving home I think; where did that time go? No matter how often we see each other, we have never ran out of topics to talk about.
Now back at home, I did a load of laundry and changed the sheets on the bed. The apartment looks pretty good from the vigorous cleaning I had been giving it the past two days. For today, New Year’s eve, it is my day to do as I wish.
I don’t know of any scheduled events in the community room for tonight but I don’t care. If I feel like going downstairs this evening, I will grab something to eat and take it down. Hopefully, someone will be down there.
There is such hype and money spent on this holiday but the key word is “couples.” Very few living in my building have a significant other, so there won’t be that big partying going on here. Besides, I have sort of outgrown? that party urge to stay up until midnight to watch a glitter ball drop from the sky. I would rather be in my “comfy” clothes and crawl under my covers when I am ready.
I prepared a meatloaf yesterday. Today I will bake it along with a potato. Served with my favorite, green beans, this will be my New Year’s eve dinner. This means meatloaf leftovers for a few days and no big-time cooking for me. Yeah!
What are your plans for this evening?
Hey everyone; it’s Monday! Did you go back to work? Or are you like me and stay at home?
There are pros and cons to going to work. Number one for me is the con; no paycheck. I get paid once a month and I have to make that last all month long; no matter what is going on that month. Prime example, December, Christmas, gifts, baking. Where does that money come from that we need when we live on Disability?
We just make it work. We find other means to make life as normal as possible. I have almost all of my Christmas gifts made or purchased. I am getting easy recipes gathered so I can take some goodies to my family’s home. Of course, this is a way for me to also taste sample and put on a few pounds.
Tell me what you are doing today? What do you do to make Christmas gifts stretch for you?
You see that mountain over there? That’s my dream. That’s where I put my faith on every night as I lay my head down on my pillow and pray. Every morning I wake up and look down at my body. Nope, nothing’s changed. I still can’t move.
I look at my legs and they feel frozen in the bed. Sort of like being cemented to a bed post. A tear drips from my eye as I try to move my fingers; but they won’t. My nose itches, but no one knows it.
I look up and I see your smiling face enter my room. I see the glistening in your eyes, but you won’t admit you have been crying. You gently wash my face and hair. You turn me over and wash both sides. You do all this with the gentleness of love. I love you so much my wife. I so wish I could tell you. I will not complain with groans or moans. Will this help you see how much you mean to me?
You shave me the best you know how. You sprinkle talc on me and try to erase the smell of this illness. You leave my room and I see you once again wipe a tear from your eye. You enter with my breakfast. I don’t recognize my favorite food, eggs and bacon. You have a cup with you and I can see it is brown, but I don’t see the steam rising. I know you have pureed all my food and added a thickner to my coffee.
You turn the television on for noise in the background as the silence is thick and our thoughts mesh into one; but neither of us want to admit we both know I am dying. I see the effort you make into each day. Going about the business of what I used to help you do. Paying bills, getting groceries, babysitting the grandchildren. Above all; you don’t forget me. You always check to make sure I am dry and want for nothing.
When you make sure I am going to be fine for the night, I hear the bed springs as you collapse into bed at night. This is when I turn to my mountains. I pray for a cure. I pray for my release so that it may release you, my love. I appreciate all that you do; but you should not suffer from my lingering onto a nothingness.
I love you, my dear wife. You are the best.
This morning, the icky feelings started coming back. Slight dizziness, a little more wobbly, and I think as the day goes by, I will have to use my walker.
I am a fighter, but sometimes I have to slow down as this illness progresses. I am going to try to ignore my feelings and continue to ask God for healing, but play it safe and use my good judgement.
I sure wish I knew what made those past three days so totally awesome. I would practice it each day. I have to believe that good days are given as a gift and as a booster to fight harder the next bad day.
When days become tough, I think back to the childhood song I used to see on the Television.
I think I can, I think I can.
For anyone struggling day after day with issues, we must draw strength first from God, then our families and friends, and of course this motivational, cute little song.
You all have a good day. I know I am going to try.
We were close
As children go
I don’t know what happened
We never let it show.
Time flew by
I grew up
We drifted apart
Sipped from different cups.
You got sick
I tried all I could
Wanted to save you
I sweared I could.
You went to heaven
I couldn’t stop you
I fell on my knees
It was all I could do.
I have regrets
Should have spoken
Told you how I felt
Now time is broken.
Time is ticking by
Quiet as all can be
Promise me this one thing
Save a place for me.
Dedicated to; D.S.
In honor of; T.D.S.
Yesterday the pain
Wouldn’t leave me
Testing my strength
Leaving me weak.
I wept in sorrow
As I lay my head
Down on my pillow
I can’t take anymore.
In the darkness
I look up at the heavens
“Help me Lord Jesus.
Take away this pain.”
In the corner
I saw shimmer
A ray of gold
“You are here.”
“I hear your cries
I want you to listen
Have faith in me
Leave yesterday behind.”
My heavy heart lightened
My spirit laid to rest
Sleep came upon me
Peace entered my soul.
This morning I promise
I will awake with hope
A prayer to God
I will believe in you.
Time I have left
I will carry hope
Dedicated for all those who are afflicted with illness.
Who said people can’t get it on?
I told Parkinson’s to leave me alone
So I could put my new place in place
God shoved it aside, til all the boxes were gone.
All things are possible with God; you know
I may not rid my body of Parkinson’s
But he did make it possible for me,
And let me run with this show.
My legs are still freezing in place
And I have spoken to God about this
I hoped it was temporary
But I will accept this with grace.
I am stating all of this because it is true
Diseases can catch us, even hold us,
And bring down our hope
But with God’s help; he’ll carry us through.
The Journal of Your Life
When you are young
Life has no cares.
When you grow old
No minutes to spare.
Memories of running
Laughing and fun
Bring you smiles
As you sit in the sun.
Skin becomes wrinkled
Eyes filled with spark
Wishing for youth
To return to your heart.
It’s very important
To journal your life
As you grow weary
Take nothing in strife.
For one day will come
And you’ll see his light
You’ll carry all those memories
So wonderful and bright.
Written by, Terry Shepherd
For this week’s challenge, tell us the story of your special connection to one song (or another discrete musical composition, from a jazz tune to a techno track or opera aria). When did it start? How has it changed over time? Does the song’s meaning reside in the melody, the lyrics, the performer’s voice — or some other intangible element?
Years ago when I was 13 years old; my favorite group was The Carpenters. I listened to song after song. While most of my other friends were into heavy metal; I preferred the soft rock and remain true to my heart today, many years later.
I remember a Friday evening, I was allowed to go to a football game with friends. Mom dropped me off at the school. The game was boring and we were losing, so my group of friends decided to go to one of their homes, and of course I followed.
I always had my cassette with me and after listening to the rock crap long enough, I asked if we could play my music. They knew what I liked and yet tolerated my taste. They put the loved music on.
I grabbed a friend’s hairbrush and stood up on a footstool. I sang my heart out to the song, Close to You. I didn’t care who laughed or left. I was in another world when I heard Karen Carpenter’s voice, and back then, my voice blended so well with hers.
Today, when I listen to this song; I smile. I can go back to earlier days and remember the care-free days of laughing and enjoying life. I will always treasure that evening. By the way, I never told mom I left the game. I was back at the field by the time the game was over.