That’s My Dream My Dear Wife

You see that mountain over there? That’s my dream. That’s where I put my faith on every night as I lay my head down on my pillow and pray.  Every morning I wake up and look down at my body. Nope, nothing’s changed. I still can’t move.

I look at my legs and they feel frozen in the bed. Sort of like being cemented to a bed post. A tear drips from my eye as I try to move my fingers; but they won’t. My nose itches, but no one knows it.

I look up and I see your smiling face enter my room. I see the glistening in your eyes, but you won’t admit you have been crying. You gently wash my face and hair. You turn me over and wash both sides. You do all this with the gentleness of love. I love you so much my wife. I so wish I could tell you. I will not complain with groans or moans. Will this help you see how much you mean to me?

You shave me the best you know how. You sprinkle talc on me and try to erase the smell of this illness. You leave my room and I see you once again wipe a tear from your eye. You enter with my breakfast. I don’t recognize my favorite food, eggs and bacon. You have a cup with you and I can see it is brown, but I don’t see the steam rising. I know you have pureed all my food and added a thickner to my coffee.

You turn the television on for noise in the background as the silence is thick and our thoughts mesh into one; but neither of us want to admit we both know I am dying. I see the effort you make into each day. Going about the business of what I used to help you do. Paying bills, getting groceries, babysitting the grandchildren. Above all; you don’t forget me. You always check to make sure I am dry and want for nothing.

When you make sure I am going to be fine for the night, I hear the bed springs as you collapse into bed at night. This is when I turn to my mountains. I pray for a cure. I pray for my release so that it may release you, my love. I appreciate all that you do; but you should not suffer from my lingering onto a nothingness.

I love you, my dear wife. You are the best.





I Think I Can, I Think I Can

This morning, the icky feelings started coming back. Slight dizziness, a little more wobbly, and I think as the day goes by, I will have to use my walker.

I am a fighter, but sometimes I have to slow down as this illness progresses. I am going to try to ignore my feelings and continue to ask God for healing, but play it safe and use my good judgement.

I sure wish I knew what made those past three days so totally awesome. I would practice it each day. I have to believe that good days are given as a gift and as a booster to fight harder the next bad day.

When days become tough, I think back to the childhood song I used to see on the Television.

I think I can, I think I can.

For anyone struggling day after day with issues, we must draw strength first from God, then our families and friends, and of course this motivational, cute little song.

You all have a good day. I know I am going to try.


Save A Place For Me

We were close

As children go

I don’t know what happened

We never let it show.


Time flew by

I grew up

We drifted apart

Sipped from different cups.


You got sick

I tried all I could

Wanted to save you

I sweared I could.


You went to heaven

I couldn’t stop you

I fell on my knees

It was all I could do.


I have regrets

Should have spoken

Told you how I felt

Now time is broken.


Time is ticking by

Quiet as all can be

Promise me this one thing

Save a place for me.


Written by,

Terry Shepherd


Dedicated to; D.S.

In honor of; T.D.S.



Yesterday the pain
Wouldn’t leave me
Testing my strength
Leaving me weak.

I wept in sorrow
As I lay my head
Down on my pillow
I can’t take anymore.

In the darkness
I look up at the heavens
“Help me Lord Jesus.
Take away this pain.”

In the corner
I saw shimmer
A ray of gold
“You are here.”

“I hear your cries
I want you to listen
Have faith in me
Leave yesterday behind.”

My heavy heart lightened
My spirit laid to rest
Sleep came upon me
Peace entered my soul.

This morning I promise
I will awake with hope
A prayer to God
I will believe in you.

For whatever
Time I have left
I will carry hope
Within myself.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd

Dedicated for all those who are afflicted with illness.


With God; All Things Are Possible

Who said people can’t get it on?
I told Parkinson’s to leave me alone
So I could put my new place in place
God shoved it aside, til all the boxes were gone.

All things are possible with God; you know
I may not rid my body of Parkinson’s
But he did make it possible for me,
And let me run with this show.

My legs are still freezing in place
And I have spoken to God about this
I hoped it was temporary
But I will accept this with grace.

I am stating all of this because it is true
Diseases can catch us, even hold us,
And bring down our hope
But with God’s help; he’ll carry us through.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd


The Journal of Your Life

The Journal of Your Life

When you are young

Life has no cares.

When you grow old

No minutes to spare.


Memories of running

Laughing and fun

Bring you smiles

As you sit in the sun.


Skin becomes wrinkled

Eyes filled with spark

Wishing for youth

To return to your heart.


It’s very important

To journal your life

As you grow weary

Take nothing in strife.


For  one day will come

And you’ll see his light

You’ll carry all those memories

So wonderful and bright.

Written by, Terry Shepherd


Song/ The Daily Post




For this week’s challenge, tell us the story of your special connection to one song (or another discrete musical composition, from a jazz tune to a techno track or opera aria). When did it start? How has it changed over time? Does the song’s meaning reside in the melody, the lyrics, the performer’s voice — or some other intangible element?


Years ago when I was 13 years old; my favorite group was The Carpenters. I listened to song after song. While most of my other friends were into heavy metal; I preferred the soft rock and remain true to my heart today, many years later.

I remember a Friday evening, I was allowed to go to a football game with friends. Mom dropped me off at the school. The game was boring and we were losing, so my group of friends decided to go to one of their homes, and of course I followed.

I always had my cassette with me and after listening to the rock crap long enough, I asked if we could play my music. They knew what I liked and yet tolerated my taste. They put the loved music on.

I grabbed a friend’s hairbrush and stood up on a footstool. I sang my heart out to the song, Close to You. I didn’t care who laughed or left. I was in another world when I heard Karen Carpenter’s voice, and back then, my voice blended so well with hers.

Today, when I listen to this song; I smile. I can go back to earlier days and remember the care-free days of laughing and enjoying life. I will always treasure that evening. By the way, I never told mom I left the game. I was back at the field by the time the game was over.

The Child in Us

I was watching a commercial or some show today. Obviously, it didn’t mean much to me; but I did catch the words, bring the child out in you.

I thought about it for a while and went back in time, remembering what made me happy as a child. It actually was a little difficult. Some things came easy. Other things, I am still thinking about; because surely there was more than what I thought of right a way.

I remember playing with my dolls outside under the big oak tree. I would lay a blanket on the grass. Smooth out all the wrinkles. Carry out my home-made doll bed, which was filled with baby dolls and all the equipment I would need, and I played all afternoon.

oak tree

I remember I loved to read, which is now something I can’t do; because I can’t concentrate any longer. I loved Nancy Drew books. I would climb on my bed after supper and TV time was over and read until mom said, “lights out Terry”.nancy drew

I remember I loved to ride my bike. A brand new birthday bike from my parents with clothes line clips holding cards from a deck of cards, a special horn on the front handle bars. and of course, it was a pretty pink for girls. I rode it every chance I got, and I also remember, i got into more trouble in those days, because I would ride to far or stay out too long.


I remember getting to stay up on Friday nights. I remember going to the ice-cream stand on hot, summer, Saturday evenings. I remember laying in my grandparents glider swing with a soft pillow and rocking myself until I fell asleep with the cool, covered porch breezes.



Being a kid for me was fun. I was lucky. I wasn’t involved with grown-up decisions or watch any drama between my parents. I remember my favorite foods were potato salad and warm cherry pie with ice-cream on top.


It feels good to go back in to those innocent good days. Being a kid wasn’t so bad after all.

Do any of you care to share some of your kid memories with me? I would love to read your comments.

What a Weekend!

This weekend was not what I would call a good one. Not feeling my best, didn’t help, which caused boredom and aggravation. I got angry at myself for how I felt poorly. I was mad at the Parkinson’s for keeping me from doing things I normally used to do.

I slept a lot more and on top of everything else, I fell again. I had used the bathroom and when I stood up, I got lightheaded and fell on the floor. I was glad my roommate happened to be home and helped me through this. I didn’t break any bones. I do feel the after effects by some bruising in the bones.

I did happen to run to the grocery store to pick up a couple of things and as I was exiting, I noticed a free magazine and decided to pick one up and read when I got home. It was strange words that I read. Usually if I am reading a magazine it is Woman’s World.

This one was filled with ads for livestock, tractors, farm animal auctions, and it did have an interesting section on places to go for natural  vitamins and healing. There was one recipe page in it.

You see, I live in Amish country. I live in a country town filled with minimal stores and plenty of horse and buggies. Several times I have asked myself, I wonder how much one of those buggies cost? Picking up that magazine answered that question for me.

It had two pages of buggies for sale. I was shocked at the price of a new one. After all, as far as I can see, there is no electric on them. There definitely is no engine. I did learn that the material used can make the price go up and there must be different styles of seating inside.

It is soothing to my ears on a quiet Sunday, when the windows are allowed to be open, that I hear the clip clop of horse hooves going down the road. It kind of lulls the soul into a tranquil peace.

Well, back to what I was saying, a brand new buggy could be purchased for five thousand dollars. I was as I said earlier surprised at this total. I noticed used, basic ones could be bought for around twelve hundred. I always wanted to take a ride in one. Now I want to even more, so I can feel the material and check out those styles.




pink bud 6amish 3buggy