The Child in Us

I was watching a commercial or some show today. Obviously, it didn’t mean much to me; but I did catch the words, bring the child out in you.

I thought about it for a while and went back in time, remembering what made me happy as a child. It actually was a little difficult. Some things came easy. Other things, I am still thinking about; because surely there was more than what I thought of right a way.

I remember playing with my dolls outside under the big oak tree. I would lay a blanket on the grass. Smooth out all the wrinkles. Carry out my home-made doll bed, which was filled with baby dolls and all the equipment I would need, and I played all afternoon.

oak tree

I remember I loved to read, which is now something I can’t do; because I can’t concentrate any longer. I loved Nancy Drew books. I would climb on my bed after supper and TV time was over and read until mom said, “lights out Terry”.nancy drew

I remember I loved to ride my bike. A brand new birthday bike from my parents with clothes line clips holding cards from a deck of cards, a special horn on the front handle bars. and of course, it was a pretty pink for girls. I rode it every chance I got, and I also remember, i got into more trouble in those days, because I would ride to far or stay out too long.


I remember getting to stay up on Friday nights. I remember going to the ice-cream stand on hot, summer, Saturday evenings. I remember laying in my grandparents glider swing with a soft pillow and rocking myself until I fell asleep with the cool, covered porch breezes.



Being a kid for me was fun. I was lucky. I wasn’t involved with grown-up decisions or watch any drama between my parents. I remember my favorite foods were potato salad and warm cherry pie with ice-cream on top.


It feels good to go back in to those innocent good days. Being a kid wasn’t so bad after all.

Do any of you care to share some of your kid memories with me? I would love to read your comments.

What a Weekend!

This weekend was not what I would call a good one. Not feeling my best, didn’t help, which caused boredom and aggravation. I got angry at myself for how I felt poorly. I was mad at the Parkinson’s for keeping me from doing things I normally used to do.

I slept a lot more and on top of everything else, I fell again. I had used the bathroom and when I stood up, I got lightheaded and fell on the floor. I was glad my roommate happened to be home and helped me through this. I didn’t break any bones. I do feel the after effects by some bruising in the bones.

I did happen to run to the grocery store to pick up a couple of things and as I was exiting, I noticed a free magazine and decided to pick one up and read when I got home. It was strange words that I read. Usually if I am reading a magazine it is Woman’s World.

This one was filled with ads for livestock, tractors, farm animal auctions, and it did have an interesting section on places to go for natural  vitamins and healing. There was one recipe page in it.

You see, I live in Amish country. I live in a country town filled with minimal stores and plenty of horse and buggies. Several times I have asked myself, I wonder how much one of those buggies cost? Picking up that magazine answered that question for me.

It had two pages of buggies for sale. I was shocked at the price of a new one. After all, as far as I can see, there is no electric on them. There definitely is no engine. I did learn that the material used can make the price go up and there must be different styles of seating inside.

It is soothing to my ears on a quiet Sunday, when the windows are allowed to be open, that I hear the clip clop of horse hooves going down the road. It kind of lulls the soul into a tranquil peace.

Well, back to what I was saying, a brand new buggy could be purchased for five thousand dollars. I was as I said earlier surprised at this total. I noticed used, basic ones could be bought for around twelve hundred. I always wanted to take a ride in one. Now I want to even more, so I can feel the material and check out those styles.




pink bud 6amish 3buggy


This darn thing of getting older is really starting to get to me. I usually have no issue with remembering anything from long ago, but this short-term memory, lack of, is bothering me big time.

Why am I telling you all this? Because, I need help, so I am coming to you. Sounds so silly since I have written and  published two books, but the problem is I can’t remember how to save what I wrote in Open Office to a folder on my desktop.

I can save it, the page, but when I open the file, and click on the title, it shows my work, but it shows it in its entity. I don’t want any part of Open Office showing, only the text part. What in the world am I doing wrong? Please talk to me, if you can help me. Other wise, I am only writing for myself.




Turn Me Back


Turn me back

To another time

Another place

Where smiles

Were abundant

Where giggles

Played so loud

Where cotton candy

Made my day

When death was

Not mentioned

And sickness

I knew not what

Where bikes

And skipping

Took over

Bring me these

Pretty days again?

Written by,

Terry Shepherd





Definitely Here

Indiana may not be the warmest year round like other states; but when Spring arrives and stays, we Hoosiers are very pleased. The birds are singing, the flowers are popping, grass is being mowed.

I don’t know about you, but I enjoy shaking off the winter blues, and digging out the T’s and shorts. It is a mood enhancer without drugs. Make sure you take the time to notice your day. Smell the wet bark from a good rain. Lean down and smell those flowers. Smell the freshly cut grass. Listen to those frogs mating.

To me, hearing the frogs during mating time in the Spring is a beautiful, calming thing to me. Here is a flower to remind you of what time of year it is here in Indiana!



Fatal Love

In a corner, you could make out the shadow of a form. A blackness with no heart remaining. Blood remains stirring from where an arrow missed its mark.

This is what painful and broken love does to a soul. It breaks it down, leaving it lifeless, thoughts of worthlessness enter, drooling in a pool around the feet.

How is it that an organ that divides a body from life or death become so involved with a feeling? Is it not true, that pure joy or devastation, or painful words, or broken arguments can cause a deeper feeling than any other thing a person can experience?

Words of comfort, a pat on the back, a sincere hug, seems to make no difference at that moment. All a person wants to do is hide and perhaps die. A sense of loneliness overtakes and if not nurtured correctly can cause a fatal death.

When this happens to one you know; don’t drift away from fear of not knowing what to say. Go to them, make the words escape your lips. Give the comfort.  Be the first one to make the move. Don’t wait, you never know if you may save a life.


I Have Changed

I can’t remember if I have talked about Al, my brother lately. Oh, who am I kidding; I think and talk about him to whom ever will listen and not turn their face away.

There are several MSA sites on Facebook that I belong to, so MSA is still a huge topic on my mind, even with Al up in heaven.

A friend told me once, that the pain never quite goes away. The hole in the heart closes, but never seals. The thoughts never escape, the  memories will always remain. The most important thing she expressed to me was. a person will never be quite the same.

Of course, there are parts of me that have moved on. I have fallen in love with my camera. When it and I are together, I really do close out everyone and everything in this world .I have branched out in my writing for my blog and I am writing my third book.  Al will be gone two years this March, and after this amount of time, I have never quite bounced back to the person I was.

I do believe good things happened though because of his passing. I drew closer to God, and I don’t allow myself to stray far from him. I am much more aware to the insensitivity in our world. I have more empathy for those suffering and less tolerance for those who think they will live high on the  mountain for ever.

I have learned that getting a bargain, is a bigger deal than having what is hot. If I get lucky to get a brand name, then it is icing on the cake. I have learned I am not taking anything with me when I leave this earth.

I don’t care so much about how a person looks anymore. It is what is in the heart that I see very clear. I can see when people don’t really care about what you say or think. I draw near to those who speak of inner peace and trying to live a Godly life.

I used to laugh at jokes that were under the table. Now when I hear vulgarity, it makes me sick. I don’t have the trust like I used to. I still get hurt pretty bad when people I care about hurt me, perhaps that is where the trust issue comes into play. No, I am no goody two shoes. I just know, that if Jesus stood in my door way, he wouldn’t catch me doing what I maybe used to do.

I hope that somewhere in this world, someone has noticed my change. Some can say I am depressed, some may think I am a snoot, but this is not true. I would love to spend time with more people, but I don’t want to change who I think God wants me to be in order to fit into other people’s lives.

Yes, Alvin’s death was very hard on me, but I have moved forward in many ways, although some may not recognize. It doesn’t really matter. I will continue to pray that God changes negative hearts and opens their eyes to God.  I miss you Al. I hope you are singing high on that mountain.



Dentist and Prayers

I know the words, I know right from wrong; but yet I am afraid. I know it is petty; but to me it is petrifying. I know God answers prayers, especially in numbers. So please pray for me tomorrow morning as I get my upper teeth pulled. My request is for me to remain calm, my blood pressure not to soar, and of course for the dentist to do this procedure smoothly. The good thing out of this, is no more pain, nor pressure, and I will have no more crooked tooth up front. My new denture will be clean, white, and straight.

I have listened and watched to this video, assuring myself that I am in God’s hands tomorrow.