Soaking in my News

Last year I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. I have continued to progress with swallowing and choking issues. I tend to fall or am constantly working on not falling. The next thing that happened is what sent me to my brother’s neurologist. I was getting the worst headaches I have ever had, and I never was a headache gal.

I was a little afraid I had MSA/P like my brother, so this is why I decided to go to my brother’s doctor instead of my regular neuro. I needed a second opinion.

He ran me through so many tests and I guess my body didn’t like it. I had tremors everywhere possible. My toes curled under and froze. My legs became stiff. I was a mess, but I think that is what he wanted to see from the tests he did. Along with blood work and brain scans, I was again diagnosed with something close to Parkinson’s, but not actually.

It is called in simple words, Ataxia Parkinsonism.

http://www.movementdisorders.org/MDS/About/Movement-Disorder-Overviews/Ataxia.htm

While I am not thrilled with this, I hope to be able to do some living for quite a while yet. From what the doctor said, I will most likely end up in a wheelchair. In a wheelchair I won’t fall though, right?

I have taken a couple of days to let this soak in. Today, I decided to give it up and take some photos through the front windows. Here are the photos I took.

A Better Outlook

When life feels upside down
And you only carry a frown
Place your amour of hope
As your main outer coat
Hold your head up high
Look towards that sky
I promise you and me
This too shall flee
And once again
We will smile and grin.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd

A New Day, Thank-You

It is wonderful to feel back to myself today. I wrote my post yesterday and I let out my feelings on my Facebook page. Many prayers were said and words of encouragement.

Today, I have not run into any walls. Isn’t this wonderful? I have tremors, but not as much as yesterday.

I know that I can’t rid my Parkinson’s, but reaching out to others does help. I have always had too much pride to ask others for things of any type. I am glad I changed my view on that.

I want to thank all who let me know their feelings. Big hugs.

First photo, my son’s dog.

Second photo, my latest painting called, Wonders.

Third photo, my latest photo of myself.

 

 

The Fern

 

Confident

Vivacious

Proud

Secure

 

 

The fern, a common plant here in my part of the country. A plant that sits on many porches during summer months.

Rabbit’s-Foot Fern

This slow-growing fern offers dark green, fine textured fronds and fuzzy stems that creep down over the pot or along the soil. These stems are what gives the fern its delightful common name.

Name: Humata tyermanii
Growing Conditions: Medium to bright light and high humidity
Size: To 2 feet tall and wide

I have owned these before. They thrive for me in the summer months, but once winter arrives, I have no luck. I have heard that they can live well inside your home. I have heard they like to be misted. I do something wrong, because the tips turn brown and they shed terribly, and I end up getting rid of them.

I love them though, and for the reasons above, I admire them and want to be around many. I took the photo below yesterday, so I can have it in my house year round.

 

I Am Healing

When my dad passed away and then after taking care of my brother for seven years, and he passed; I was lost, sad and very lonely. It took me a while, but I eventually turned to my camera for comfort.

I took photos of everything I saw. I laugh out loud when I think of some of the things I placed in focus. I guess it has been about two and a half years now that I have been playing? with my camera.

One thing has never changed about this. When I am drilling on the past and the sadness overcomes me, my camera definitely helps me forget everything and everyone. Sometimes this is all it takes to turn my day better.

As the months passed, I began posting and sharing my photos on Facebook. I slowly started getting comments and maybe I thought a little ahead of myself, I must be good at this. Maybe I have a tiny bit of talent.

I allowed myself to think about money and photos, so I opened an account at Fine Art America. I chose the free membership for about three months, but the space was limited. For a small yearly membership, I could post and hope to sell one photo; so I advanced to that membership.

I was still building comments and that made me feel good; but on my FAA account, I thought I was awful, no talent, I was a fool. I went on and on kicking myself from here to heaven.

I decided I needed to hear the truth; so I started a forum in conversations. I plainly asked for the truth about my photos. Guess what? I got it, the truth and nothing but the truth. At first I was hurt, but then I became thankful.

I received some very good advice, about my camera, my website, and the photos I placed on there. I learned more about pixels, cropping, and all kinds of goodies. The only thing I haven’t learned completely, is whether I have any talent or not.

I decided last evening that I love my camera, no matter what. If friends and strangers want to give me a good thumbs up on my photos, God bless them. I won’t quit, because it is a very important part of healing for me against all pain.

I did although, revamp my FAA account. I deleted photos that I must have been so tired when I posted them, I had to laugh at myself and wonder why I did. Of course, no one would buy that one or this one.

I added more information about myself and why I have the site. I changed settings on my camera and have been playing, or I should say experimenting with it in different ways now.

If I am lucky enough to sell a photo, God blessed me, and if not, oh well, I am healing.

 

I have another WordPress site that I post my photos on if you care to look.

https://throughmyeyes1954.wordpress.com/2016/09/17/my-photography-49/

 

My FAA link is;

http://terry-shepherd.pixels.com/index.html

Senior Years Can Be Sucky

After my brother passed, I discovered my camera. With the help of a friend, I was able to get a really nice camera and soon we were the best of friends. If I don’t have my big camera by my side; I have my camera on my cell, ready to capture a photo.

I love taking photos; but I love sharing them with people. It isn’t because I think I am so good at photography. It is because I simply enjoy being in the moment. At first when I started taking photos, I could drown out the pain I was in from losing my brother.

I can see him today. If he was still with me, he would say nothing, but he would be grinning from ear to ear, because he would know how much I enjoyed this activity.

Well, ever since I got this darn Parkinson’s, I have not been able to care for others any longer. I went from a working girl to living on the government’s disability program. I started to fret because I wondered where I was going to get extra money, since I receive little in my check.

I looked at a program that several people had directed me towards. It is called Fine Art America. This is the link for my site in this company.

http://terry-shepherd.pixels.com/

 

I did the free enrollment for a few months. I noticed that I received quite a few likes on my photos; so I decided to further my plan and pay a one-year membership, which was pretty low in cost.

Today, I noticed I have received over 34,000 likes or clicks on my photos; but sadly not a single sale. Either I have foolishly believed I had some sort of small talent, or I am not reaching anyone outside of the thousands of members who look at my photos.

I just don’t know what to do anymore to be truthful. This is the beginning of a stressful time for me. Christmas is coming. Oh the extra money that is needed for those special gifts.

Between seeing the NO SALES on Fine Art and Christmas nearing, I realize even more, I need to earn some kind of money.

I have researched so many places for at home making jobs, but find nothing legitimate. Someone mentioned I try to sell my photos to a calendar company. I looked into it through Google, but saw nothing.

Sometimes I get so discouraged. I ask God often, what do you want me to do? What am I qualified to do? All I ever knew was caring for someone else. Help show me God.

It saddens me that I am this age, older but not antique yet, and I may have nothing left to offer to help myself out. Is this the way I will go out? Just hanging around, watching TV, not being able to do something for others? Oh this darn Parkinson’s.

How do other people do it? How do women who didn’t work enough to receive a good pension or retirement fund survive today?

One side of the coin says, I am glad I was able to be a stay-at-home mommy, and the flip side says, I should have worked.

I don’t know why I am rambling on; but it feels good to get it out of my head. If any of you have any suggestions on something I can do, or some place I can look; let me know. My email is;

tellmenolies2004@yahoo.com  or you can respond through here.

I know I am not the only one in this situation, so  there has to be something somewhere.

Thanks for reading.

Below is one of my photos.

 

Warm Winter Day

Today, I got out by myself. It felt strange a little bit. I haven’t been out much because of cold and snow. I ran to the grocery store and got gas for my car. I then went to my favorite spot for inhaling some inner peace. Along with that I took these photos.

Four Legged Friends

It is pretty darn cold outside. The good thing is the skies are blue and the sun is shining. I started my car to keep it from feeling abandoned and I realized there are some who love this weather, including our four-legged friends.

 

 

Winter

Cold, windy, and beautiful skies.

 

A Day in a Life

It was pretty cold last night. This morning it was cloudy and still cold. I wished it were sunny. I can wish right? I went out about an hour later and low and behold, the sun was and is still shining.

It isn’t much warmer, but the vision presented to me, made it feel much warmer. There is something to be said about a cold, winter day. Snow lays quietly on the ground. The air is crisp. You inhale and the air seems to regenerate your spirit. The streets seem more quiet.

You just don’t have that advantage with warmer weather. You tend to hear more traffic. You see and listen to children playing. You lose a little of that peace. I always thought I never wanted to see a snowy winter day, but I have to admit, looking forward to the four seasons in Indiana, and enjoying what each has to offer is a beauty in itself.

I took a few photos this morning and here is what I saw.

A friend of mine wrote a beautiful poem. She asked me to not use her name; but instead give the credit to God for what she wrote. I will share it with you here also.