This morning Al was teary-eyed again. I couldn’t take it. A Saturday when I knew he would do this off and on all day. I didn’t want to be sad, so I got to thinking, what can we do.
Bingo, not too much pain so let’s go out. I asked him if he wanted to eat lunch out and he didn’t say anything. I ask him if he wanted to go to Wal-Mart after we ate lunch and look at cars and then he said yes and smiled at me.
So clean face and hands, clean brief, placed him in his wheelchair, got my basket of needed supplies and off we went, just like Little Red Riding Hood.
We ate at a burger joint that Al picked out. He did real good, considering, but he was more worried about people seeing him spill food and his tremors. I told him to forget them and just keep his eyes on me. I would make him forget the strangers.
We ate, by now no matter what we eat or where we eat, it takes Al about forty-five minutes to eat. After I was done I people-watched. Cleaning him up and loading him and the wheelchair back in-car we headed for the junk store, Wal-Mart. Well I guess not junk store, that is sort of crappy term, but this store has changed. They took out American products and brought cheap stuff in for same prices.
So I got my bag of wintergreen lifesavers. I am so addicted to them. I must have one for each cup of coffee I drink. I just love the combo. Then we went to the toy section. Al picked out a new police car. It is pretty cool if I do say so myself. Oh he was so proud. He held it like a new-born baby.
We left that department and went down to look at these razors I was told about. Someone had told me they sell battery operated disposable razors. I looked at them. They were a little pricy, but my friend said they last a long time and work well. I thought, what the heck, I can only be burnt once, so I bought one.
We were just getting ready to leave that aisle when we ran into an aunt we hadn’t seen for almost six years. She was on one of those electric scooters. I saw her coming and she nodded to Al and then went on by.
My body started shaking. This time I was not letting any of this family get by with their rude shit. I stood in my place and yelled at her as she was getting ready to turn the curve.
“Aren’t you even going to say hello to Al? When is the last time you saw or spoke to him, maybe six years ago?”
She said nothing and went on around the next aisle and then came back. She said, “Hi Al, I wish Jeff wasn’t asleep in the car while I am in here. He would probably want to say hi to Al.”
What? She is speaking to me? She is supposed to be speaking to Al. He is the sick one.
Then she says, “I saw a picture of you Al from Joan.”
Joan is our old neighbor that helped that day I took Al to the fair and needed help getting his brief changed because of small doorways. After she helped she wanted to take a photo of Al. She asked him and he said alright.
I asked,” Is that all you’re going to say to him? You may want to talk to him for more than a few seconds. Your chances are running pretty low.”
“Yes, I heard he is real sick.”
She turns her key back on and starts to leave. As she is moving a way, she says, “well, maybe”
That was it. She was gone out of sight. She didn’t even hang around to complete her sentence.
I was so pissed. I have every right to be upset. I give myself that pat on the back for not stomping my feet, crying and running up to her and shaking the hell out of her asking, “what the hell is wrong with you?”
Of course I know what is wrong. She is still friends with the mean woman who dated my Dad when he was dying. My aunt chose to believe anything or everything that this mean old bag chose to say over her very own family members.
If you have no clue as to what I am talking about, go to my Al’s Parkinson’s Journey and read the chapters. It will explain everything to date.
I thought I was being so cool but Al said, “it’s ok sis, at least she said hi” and then he started crying.
That aunt ruined our whole trip. I was even more fuming. How dare her ignore her sick family member. Forget me, although she has hurt me terribly as the aunt in Florida and the Aunt in Indiana, I will survive. I have been hurt plenty.
This whole things stems from one thing. My Dad told everyone in his family and friends circle that when he died the Will was set up a certain way. Well without going into legal and personal details, Dad didn’t word it correctly and there were a lot of gaps.
I wasn’t going to go explain personal business to anyone. The lawyer and the courts figured it all out and I have Al in my care. Enough said I guess, but what ever happened to support from families?
Is it wrong to accept that life is what it is and not everything turns out the way it was planned? For me, I was the biggest winner of all. I have Al in my care. He is not in a State confinement nor a nursing home. He is with me.
I guess I may or may not have made an ass of myself here at WP, but I get really sick of people, especially family, who think they know it all, and yet know nothing, and they ignore us, Dad’s children. Some day Al will be gone. And who ever shows up at his funeral will be the ones who cared. And who ever does not, the hell with them. I can totally understand why Al spends some evenings crying about no one being at his funeral.
The cards keep coming in for Al. He is being shown that people care. We don’t receive any cards from family, so I tell Al that these cards come from extended family, people who love and pray for him.
If anyone else wants to send a card to him, please email me at
for his address.
Al is in pain now. I think the trip was a little long and the mishap with the Aunt upset him. We are home now naturally, and I gave him some pain medication for his legs. He is now napping. I hope he is having good dreams.