Sometimes Others Just Don’t Get It

Am I crazy?

Lazy or just plain dumb?

Should I return to my crib

And suck back on my thumb?

Sometimes a human can toss a knotted-less rope

My hands are too slippery and I miss that chance

To make others understand

I don’t want to sing to your dance.

What were the right words

To say unto you

That you may hear my truth

In all that you do.

So many others hit walls and are stopped

They try explaining their feelings to a non-ticking clock

We return to our homes and we wish they’d live in our shoes

I wonder how they’d feel and what would they do

.Invisible illness and anything rare

Is something we fight straight from our chairs

Every day praying someone will understand

We’ll keep our hope until they raise their hands.

Written by,Terry Shepherd09/30/2021

Santa of 2020

Santa of 2020

What’s in Santa’s bag this year for you?

Could it be re-gifted or something brand new?

2020 has been forced on us, don’t take that train nor the bus

Stay home and become a teacher, forget all the make-up, forget the fuss.

Trade in your work clothes and wear something comfy

Laze on the couch that’s getting quite lumpy

.Forget the lessons, the piano and dance

Gather together, sing and laugh, take a chance!

The kids can see Santa, but not sit on his lap

They’ll look through the bubble, and the glass they shall tap

.They’ll hold up their paper with their Christmas list

Hoping Santa can read it and bring them their wish

.Grandma may not come and pinch those dear cheeks

Auntie won’t be there, she’s in a hospital under those sheets

.Our families will gather around the table this year

It will be more quiet, less people to cheer

.We’ll look at each other as we eat from our plates

Not knowing what to say, but it isn’t too late.

This year we can start knowing those living with in

The four walls of our house, that’s where it begins.

We’ll listen to each other and smile then grin

As we begin chatting, causing sadness to dim

.Santa may not deliver the usual Christmas bling

Instead he delivered a family, filled with love and peace.

Written by,Terry Shepherd

December, 12, 2020

• 

Memories for all time

I made your photo my cover
There really could be no other

It never fails to amaze me
That your photo drives me crazy.

It’s been five years this March
When you went to the golden arch.

I know you are a happy guy
I don’t even question why.

For God so loved you so
He saw your pain that glowed.

He raised you and stood you up
You drank from his healing cup.

I hope you understand
That I’m still living on this land.

My heart still aches for you so much
I wish I could reach your hand and touch.

You’d say nothing to me I remember
You started this one September.

Multiple System Atrophy
Brought nothing buy agony.

You suffered more than any I know
You deserved your time to go.

I’ll always love you my brother dear
In my heart I keep you very near.

Til the time comes and it’s my turn
Your memories in my heart will burn.

I miss you dear brother Al.
You will be gone five years, March 24th, 2019.
Love you so much,
Your sister, Terry Shepherd

 

In the Field of Flowers

I sat on a broken tree stump
Gazing out over the field of flowers
I tried counting each one but I failed
I saw your name printed on a stem
When I looked at the buds
I swear they were eyes
And you were reading my heart
I raised my hand out as if I
Thought you would bend your petals towards me
The wind blew gently, causing you to bow my way.
Your petals bent and I could see the form you displayed
A smile on your face, seeds spilling as tears
You miss me too. The wind shifted the other way
You stood tall and very still. I took a picture of you
That I will keep in my heart forever.
We communicated; you and I
I feel an inner peace knowing that
We miss each other the same and
I will remain as strong as you are standing
In the field of flowers.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd

 

 

Ah, The Hell With It

When you look in the mirror

Do you see horror or do you laugh

Do you recognize the person

Or do you feel you’ve been given the shaft?

 

When you crawl out of bed

Do you do it with ease

Or do you stop and fumble

Feels like falling to the knees.

 

If you rolled up your hair

And put make-up on your face

Do you think this would help

Make you feel part of the race?

 

When you go potty first thing

Do you look at your skin

Have you noticed the bags

That hang from your shins?

 

When you slip into clothes

Do you go for the look

Or do you put clothes on for comfort

Like a fish on a hook.

 

When you turn on the TV

And you see those faces

Does it make you want to go out

Buying up all make-up places?

 

I went through my stages

Of trying to keep up

Now I’ve decided to be comfy

And quit wondering what’s up.

 

Written by,.

Terry Shepherd

January is Gone

t’s been a rough month

Words spearing my brain

I’m actually glad this month’s over

Now dreaming of rain and Spring.

 

Spring is all about new

New hope and answered prayers

I know God listens to my words

Because he is everywhere.

 

On the other side of the coin

Sadness can fill my eyes

It’s so close to my brother’s passing

When I was forced to say my goodbyes.

 

From this day forward

Alvin will occupy my mind

Still seems like only yesterday

He and I had so much time.

 

Our days are filled with goodness

Our nights can be like hell

I just have to remember to be thankful

While God teaches me to sit a spell.

 

It’s hard to not be guessing

What tomorrow may or may not bring

Will we still be like this morning?

Can time really change everything?

 

My faith is what I carry

In a bucket wrapped in my heart

I have to remember to refill it

Until this earth I depart.

 

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

 

Dedicated to life and my brother, Alvin Miller.

In My Dream

I keep seeing you in my dreams

Not long ago, we were face to face

Spilling our feelings, sharing our hurt

That was never a dream.

 

Through a different set of eyes

I see things in a different light

In my dreams you have become real

Is this a dream?

 

We talk, you have held my hand

You rocked me in your arms

You cried with me, felt my pain

Was this a dream?

 

Night after night you visit with me

Did I open the gate?

Did you hear me cry out?

Is this a dream?

 

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

2018-2019

The time has come to say goodbye

Not forever; not going to keep those memories shy.

It’s a new year you see, everyone waiting

Excitement definitely seems escalating.

 

 

For me it may be different than for you

I won’t be partying as you do.

I move forward with caution; eyes wide open.

Hope in my heart, feeling memories again.

 

 

I will pray for a closer walk with him up above

I will share what I have and give to all those I love.

I will sometimes sit alone, a choice I will make

And run the movie of memories which I have made.

 

 

So I say to you, two thousand eighteen

It’s been a trip; one I’ve never seen.

I will welcome in two thousand nineteen

With hope in my heart and a soul that gleams.

 

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

The Familiar Place

Last evening it was quiet. I did some of the things I wanted to get working on and then I went downstairs. The poem I just wrote is about what I thought and saw.

 

THE FAMILIAR PLACE

The Christmas lights glowed

Reflected on her tears

I felt the storm

Of thundering memories.

 

We aren’t really that close

I didn’t know what to say

I looked around for others

Not a shadow of a face.

 

I felt the tug in my heart

Requesting me to stay

I pulled my walker close

Locked my brakes and sat down.

 

Words flowed easily

From my mouth

I explained I felt her feelings

As I was living mine.

 

We shared so easily

Memories of our families

The empty seats at dinner

The place we live in now.

 

We spent about an hour

Like friends for ever more

We ended with some laughter

We then both went our own ways.

 

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

 

My Christmas Tree

THIS CHRISTMAS

This is the first year
After four years
From when my brother passed
That I am feeling up for a Christmas blast.

I wondered if the feelings would ever return
Or were they permanently burned
But I feel joy bursting from my heart
i feel like I can really start being a part.

The tree is up, the lights are lit
I think of my brother and a tear did drip
I told him hello and how I miss him so much
I asked him what he thought of my Christmas touch.

I felt a peace fall over me
As I looked at my Christmas tree
I knew he was smiling from up above
I really could feel his Christmas love.

I know it’s early to put my tree up
Cuz there are those who say, hey what’s up!
But Ataxia can rule my day, really get in my way
And today I was good so I did what I should.

I decorated my tree, I thought of mom, dad and me
I remembered Christmases past and what this year could be
I told myself I’ve got a great family
And we will share among this year’s Christmas tree.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd
Nov 11/18