A Cheap Shower Curtain Says it All


The strangest things pop in my head at times. I blame this on the fact that I am a constant thinker. I actually was in the ladies’ room and was sitting on the throne. I looked at the shower curtain as I probably do most times, but saw things I hadn’t seen before.

I bought this shower curtain three weeks ago. It is in the blue hues and is checkered. It isn’t anything fancy and was a product of WalMart. Suddenly I took notice of the inside of the checker pattern. There is scribbles of a gold enhancer so it is supposed to look like water trickling down the curtain but I saw something different. I saw crosses. Yes, there was a cross in each square, all in gold. I had no problem detailing each one and as you looked outside of the checks, you could see straight lines along with wrinkles from how the curtain rest against the tub.

I was putting a puzzle together. I saw my life as I walked down the straight and narrow, sometimes running into bumps but, always ahead, I could see the gold cross. I knew that I was not alone on this travel called life. God is always with me and beside me. He is right there for you and for me. He is only waiting for us to seek him out.

Isn’t that good to know? With the changes in our world today, that aren’t all good, we can count on not being alone. This brings me inner peace. With this pandemic, it is easy to feel very alone, but we aren’t. When you can see the proof in a cheap, WalMart shower curtain, you know that God is real. Hugs everyone.

Photo taken by me.

The Fairy Tale


Fairy tales, lust and love. Somewhere in your younger years you thought of these three things. The dress in white. The man in the tux.ball-gown-empire-wedding-dresses_1

The days of thinking of no one else but him/her. The nights of lovemaking under the stars. The house, the babies, the laughter then the tears.

 

Why, why does this happen? You were so in love? If I had the answers; I may not be divorced today. I don’t know why things change. Perhaps the bills start things out. Companies having their handout for money.

 

Work and more work to make sure there is adequate money to cover bills, food, insurance, gas and of course; I could go on and on.

 

Somewhere the glitter leaves and reality sets in. Sometimes marriage counseling prior to the wedding helps. It helps set the goals of what each wants to bring to the relationship. Even then, this doesn’t always help.

 

The world is full of glitter in black masks.blackmask

It comes in many styles such as stress, overweight, insecurities, failure and many more. There is always someone out there leering near by, watching your eyes, and feeling your losses. They are there, waiting, tempting you to respond to their call.

 

A person at the bar, a hunk at the gym, a co-employee. They are all around us, and ready to make us feel better. When we are hurting or confused, not sure where we stand in a relationship; this is the time temptation comes along.

 

Now don’t get me wrong my friends. Not every person is devious. There are thousands of people who care and many who would not consider breaking up or interfering with a marriage. We do have to face the facts though. Life is delicate and easily breakable.

 

Don’t believe me? Take a look for a few weeks at the divorce filings. It is so sad to see many who have been married less than a year or even six months; filing for divorce. It sometimes appears that there surely was an argument and instead of seeking help, they sought a divorce attorney. You know, the I’ll show you attitude?

 

Then their are the relationships that have lasted fifteen, sixteen and forty years that have filed. The mid-life crisis? What is that exactly?

mid·life cri·sis
noun
noun: mid-life crisis
  1. an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age.

 

Sometimes this can occur from The Change. Wow, what a phrase, but so true.

Hormones bouncing, hot flashes, the kids are moving out. Suddenly it is just the two of you again and now what do you do? Weight gain has occurred. You have time to go to the gym. You get in shape. People notice. Your head swells like a big balloon.big

Guys flirt, you flirt back. It feels good. Darn, how long has it been since this has happened?

 

Well, as you can see, there are many reasons that the fairy tale can go up in flames but it doesn’t mean the light has to be snuffed completely. You just have to get the help needed for the issue and without delay. First, you may ask yourself, do I still love the person I have been involved with or married to all these years?

 

If the answer is yes, then there is hope. Pray, seek counseling, change the routine at home. Smell good, look good, think of him/her before yourself. Have a picnic in your bedroom with candles. Put the kids to bed early. Put the cell down, turn the TV off. Change it up. Do what ever you need to do to salvage what was good.

 

If you have tried your best and it still fails, well, this is the ultimate suck-ass situation of all. How do you go on? What about all those years spent together. I don’t have the answers, but I can offer suggestions. Stay close to your family. They do love you. They will listen. They will emotionally support and encourage you. Lastly, don’t forget to pray. Prayers are answered. God listens. God feels your pain. God knows your future.

 

Enough said for tonight.

I dedicate this to a very special man in my life.

I love you. R.W.

 

Daily Prompt/ One Word Prompt


https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/awkward/

The word for today is; awkward

 

I wonder how the kid feels about taking those ten lives.

 

Dimitrios Pagourtzis was seen entering the low-slung building at Santa Fe High School on Friday morning, armed and wearing a trench coat.

Like others who’ve terrorized American students, the 17-year-old planned to kill his peers and then himself, the authorities said.

He opened fire, and the school erupted in chaos. An alarm clanged, and in the art room, bloodied students cried for help.

But once the bullets pierced his classmates’ bodies, the suspect surrendered, said Gov. Greg Abbott of Texas, and admitted “that he didn’t have the courage to commit the suicide.”

On Friday, as a small Texas town grappled with the deaths of 10 of their own, a sketchy profile of another violent young man came to the fore, the disturbing details of his life blurring with those of the school gunmen of the past.

“Born to Kill” appeared on a T-shirt he posted on his Facebook page, along with images of the trench coat and an explanation of its decorations.

 

The family says;

Suspect’s family: He’s a ‘sweet boy’

The family of 17-year-old Pagourtzis, accused of killing 10 people and wounding 13 others at the Texas high school Friday, issued a statement expressing condolences to the victims.
The family members said they are “as shocked and confused as anyone by these events that occurred.”
Pagourtzis is a “smart, quiet, sweet boy,” they said.
The statement, issued through a law firm, says the family is cooperating with investigators and will make no other public comments until the fact-finding stage is completed.
“While we remain mostly in the dark about the specifics of yesterday’s tragedy, what we have learned from media reports seems incompatible with the boy we love,” they said.
Pagourtzis is being held without bail and is accused of capital murder of multiple people and aggravated assault on a public servant. He has not entered a plea.
Robert Barfield, the attorney for Pagourtzis, said his client is “not doing well” and is “confused.”
The suspect won’t face the death penalty if he is convicted. Under Texas law, offenders who are under age 18 and charged with a capital offense face a maximum punishment of life in prison with the possibility of parole after 40 years, according to Robert Dunham of the Death Penalty Information Center.
Suspected killer, 17 years old.
180518154418-05-dimitrios-pagourtzis-santa-fe-suspect-card-exlarge-169
Do you think he feels awkward after the fact? Did he feel awkward when he planned and plotted this killing scheme?

The Blind Truth


The Blind Truth
 
Lies and cheating
And guns boo-hoo
Don’t know what to think
But I do know what to do.
 
Listen to the news
Pick out the truth
Throw the rest in the trash
And pray for our youth.
 
We can’t change spots
In the lion’s den
We can teach right from wrong
And hopefully then
 
When we become old and grey
When we need that helping hand
We’ll turn to those we prayed and led
And we’ll move smoothly into the promised land.
 
Written by,
Terry Shepherd
believe-what-your-heart-tells-you-trust-your-gut-there-17681835

Daily Prompt/One Word Prompt


https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/costume/

The first thing that hit me when I saw the word costume was a covering to hide the truth.

 

https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/15/us/florida-high-school-shooting/index.html

 

https://everytownresearch.org/school-shootings/

 

I was thinking this morning listening to the latest updates about the school  shooting in Florida. They are blaming this happening because the teen had a death of a parent. Stating was also heard that the culprit had an unhappy life.

 

I thought back to when I was a teen. No one shot others because they were unhappy or had deaths in the family. What did my era do when there was sad situations? I remember hangings, suicide talk, going to boys school. Girls got pregnant or ran a way.

I am not saying that any of these words are a reason for anything. I am just trying to imply that teens in my day hurt themselves. They didn’t go out of their way to hurt others so they could feel their pain or get their name in highlights.

 

The news said we, the citizens, are getting used to this news of school shooting. Well, I can tell you, I am not getting used to it. It causes me great disturbance. It causes me to think about the family life and lack of it in homes today.

Family split is not the reason behind the bad things that happens today, but I do believe the separation of family, is a good lead that continues on to sometimes permanent and mental damage. Drugs, alcohol, lack of being able to discipline, over-crowded schools, leading to lack of need for those who need extra attention all lead to that one thought that ask, Who the hell cares anymore?

 

I pray harder. I ask God to heal hurting hearts. I pray for God to let all see who he is and how he can help. I am one person and I ask myself, What can I do, just me alone? I don’t have the answers. I think of so many ways to change things but the truth is, only God can put this country back together again, along with a great President and congress working for the people, with the people and by the people.

 

We have way too many costumes out in the world with colorful masks, guaranteed to hide the real pain. It’s time to change. Come on President Trump! Come on people! Let’s kick some ass and change things!!!

Living in Today’s World


My mind wanders back to the day of 9/11, 16 years ago. What was I doing? Where was I? I was going through my own hell on that day. I had split up with my ex. I was living on my own on minimum wages. I had lost my mother a year prior. I was lonely, miserable and sad, angry at everyone; including myself.

I remember having slept a restless night, probably from worrying too much, instead of leaving it in God’s hands. I woke up later than my normal time. I got my coffee made, sat down to drink it and flipped the television on.

Oh my gosh! What! What in the world is going on?

I listened and learned our country had been hit by mean and hateful people. Lives had been lost. Quickly, I forgot about my problems and thought about how my mother wasn’t here to see this.

I sat glued to the television. I didn’t get much accomplished that day. I grew quieter in thought and just watched the TV. Hour after hour, my heart sank. Before I knew it, I was beginning to pray.

I had been brought up in church. I did the weekly church thing, but this moment, I found myself drawing nearer to our God. I felt tears dripping as my heart tore more open from this world tragedy.

From that day forward, God and I became closer friends. He helped me get through my father’s illness and death. He helped keep me strong for my brother’s seven-year illness and his death.

He showed me I could make it on my own in almost any situation. He helped me draw closer to my children and to understand I was not only their mother, but I could let loose of the trying to guide them in their own lives, and just plain enjoy knowing they love me, no matter what.

Today, I thank God for awakening my need for him. I pray for all those lost in the terrible 9/11. I continue to pray for our world of disasters today; other countries in turmoil and hate, tornadoes, fires and hurricanes. I pray for our Congress and President Trump.

No matter what my opinions are of any goings on, the fact is; God is in charge and knows exactly what to do. Now, today, I am fighting my own health concerns. I try to give more to God and enjoy the little things in life; like waking up.

I try and succeed most times, to find the good in the negative in people and in my surrounding situations. God is good. I don’t know why he doesn’t stop some things from happening; but I know he has his reasons. Maybe, he wants us all to draw near to him, lean on him.

So many of us feel we are in charge of our lives. We have to make the decisions. We must make sure our children are happy, our spouses and partners are happy. Our job performances are noticed, our paychecks bigger each year.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter, none of it. God brought us into this world out of ashes. He will take us out of this world in a blink of an eye, and I promise, nothing is going with us, nothing.

All that matters is; we love God, praise his name, give thanks for everything we do  have, continue to love him when things don’t go right, and the biggest to me, is TRUST HIM, and don’t worry about what others are thinking or saying. We are God’s child. He made us perfect in his vision. He has us right where he wants us, each moment, each day, each year.

God bless our country. God bless our military. God bless you.

 

September 11th Terrorist Attacks

Trust, Faith, Hope and Prayers


I am what some would say,”Addicted to Facebook.” Maybe I am, maybe I am not. Your call on that one. I do know that I read a lot of what streams and I also advocate for Multiple System Atrophy. I also belong to several MSA groups along with Parkinson’s and Ataxia groups. There is so much support from these wonderful people; because we understand each other’s symptoms. It is a great place to go for answers, a shoulder to cry on, a place to vent, and make good friends.

 

I get so aggravated at the name calling, people thinking that they are the only ones who are correct and swear words. During the streaming process, I ignore some gross stuff, laugh at others, pray for all, and shake my head at the politics.

 

I hear it everywhere. People where I live discuss it often. There are Veteran’s here who reside and they have very outstanding remarks about our past and present President’s. They chat openly about the wars they were in, and I listen in awe as they bring their memories to life.

A Veteran is a dictionary

With incredible stories

True life history

No stones left unturned

A Veteran is my history friend.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

07/13/2017

 

Now, it’s a different story on Facebook. It seems everything goes. Nothing is sacred. I do believe we are all free to our speech. We do live in America. I don’t believe we should bully, block people, unfriend friends over politics.

 

Isn’t it more important that we gather together in common ground and think positive thoughts for our government and pray for their thoughts and actions? We, the people, can not change so many things in life, but we can come together for the better of our future.

 

I admit I get nervous. Their is so much talk about big cut backs for government programs. I know for me for instance, I have little funds, I depend on their help for medical expenses. I wish I didn’t have to, but my illness prevents me from doing so much in life.

 

What I have to do is; pick out information that is important and let the rest race out my other ear. There is  much gossip that spreads from mouth to mouth. What do we really know is truth or lie? I have to trust that our President, Donald Trump, has our best interest at heart, and with all the pushing and shoving he is faced with daily, he will give it his best shot.

 

Trust, this is what is needed

Hope is what we must carry

Pray is a must

And leave the rest to God.

 

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

 

Donald_Trump_Pentagon_2017

 

 

 

Put That Crime in a Box


I live in a city in northern Indiana. I am not sure why I am even stating that fact; as it doesn’t seem to really matter. This happens in about any town that has any politicians involved.

There are crimes, and then there are crimes. Get what I mean? Some of the crimes in my opinions are so petty, and being locked up provides certain luxuries that some senior citizens would give their right arm to receive plus the fact it is taking up valuable space for those crimes more serious, and of course, you know who is footing these  bills of three meals and a shower, right?

I am not able to speak on experience. Crap, I am just a pebble on the beach in our town. No one really knows who I am, and with what happens inside the box, I don’t think I would want to be discovered, so I will just remain one of many pebbles.

What gets my goat though worse than anything is crime. Now if I don’t report any changes within ten days to the government, any or all of my benefits can be ripped away for long periods of time, and maybe permanent too. There could also be a threat of jail time, and like I said, I am a nobody, and I did pay into the system for a time, so of course any benefits I receive, weren’t mine in the beginning, right?

Then there is the ones who have a name, have some money sitting under the  mattress and in the bank, and they commit a crime, and suddenly it is not labeled a crime or the guilty get pushed under a new name, a new category, and BINGO, all charges are forgiven or suspended.

I can’t say the crime. I don’t know if I would get in trouble or a knock at my door, so I will just say, it has been on the news, plastered on the internet, so I have to believe that there was truth in what happened at one point.

All I am trying to point out here is this; if you do the crime, I don’t give a hoot what your last name is or how many bundles you got in the bank, pay the price. You are no better than me or any other pebbles in this world.

People, quit giving the bad guys a break. How about giving a break to those of us older people who are fighting to eat every day, pay our rents and utilities, get rides to the doctors, struggle paying those co-pays. Oh shit, I could go on and on at the unbalance in our world, but hey, I am just that pebble, so who is really listening. Oh well, I feel better just getting this off my chest. I will sleep well tonight, will you?

 

Obviously, people who commit crimes should be punished. Even people who steal socks and ‘Snow White’ videos should probably do time if they have priors, especially serious priors. But the punishment has to fit the crime, and the standard has to be the same for everyone. Matt Taibbi
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/matt_taibbi.html

Is There Someone I Can Call For You?


The firefighters raced in. Smoke engulfing anything that breathed. Looking around they saw no life. Checking the bathroom, they looked behind the worn shower curtain; nothing.

Climbing the stairs, stopping in mid-air, as they watched three stairs collapse in front of them, they took giant, baby steps, and landed on solid ground. Splitting in different directions, they sought each room.

There he was, the little boy, hiding under his bed. Flames dancing all around him as if inviting him to a special party, where he was to be the main event. The firefighter pushed fervently the bed, crashing it into the wall, causing the little one to cry.

He bent down quick and scooped the tot in both arms. Turning around he raced out of the door, yelling, ” I found him, I found him. All head outside now!” The piercing sounds of blazes licking at their heels, caused them to run faster. Hearing the splitting of wood from above, they raced through the front door.

Crowds screaming and clapping as the firefighter transferred the boy into the arms of the EMT’s. The mother and father came and were standing at the rear of the ambulance, throwing questions faster than playing darts.

“Is he okay? Is my baby alright? I should have insisted he bring his toys downstairs to play with. I gave in because I didn’t want to take apart his train track. I will never forgive myself for being so lazy.”

“It’s going to be alright. He seems to have suffered some smoke inhalation, but only minor burns. Don’t put yourself down mam. You were only doing what you thought was right.” The mother buried her head in her hands crying. All she could think of was what she had done wrong.

The EMS team worked on the tot, cleaning him up. Mom could hear one of them speaking over a speaker in his hand. “ETA, five minutes.” The police guided the parents to their patrol car and opening the back door, helped each of them in.

Silence guided them to the nearest hospital, Angel’s Mercy South Side. The EMS was ahead of them, but close enough the parents zoomed in on the flashing bubble, and they waited anxiously for the tot to be transferred inside the doors. The police pulled up next and not waiting for their doors to be opened, they raced inside the electronic, double doors.

They started running to catch up with their son, but the receptionist stopped them, stating they needed to fill out  paperwork and show their insurance forms. The mother turned to her and started laughing out loud. The husband tried to quiet her, but the wife refused.

“My child has been burnt. Do you think you could think of something besides money for a change? You’ll get your damn money, but my son comes first. Excuse us lady, we are going to see our son.”

The guards were motioned from behind the desk and pulling their pants up tighter and touching their side gun, they stiffly walked up to the parents. ” I can understand how you feel, but the staff is looking after the child at this moment. They will call you back as soon as  everything is under control. You must fill out the paper work as the receptionist has so kindly asked. We need this completed before we can proceed.”

He once again touched his gun and tipping his hat forward, he gestured the two to turn around and do as was requested. The mother was cussing under her breath. The father patting her shoulder, whispering, “It’s going to be alright. Let’s just do what they asked so we can go see Ryan.”

What seemed like hours, they tediously filled out each line and signed on the dated lines. Yes, they understood the HIPAA law. Yes, they had insurance and let the lady make copies of that and their driver’s licences. Yes, they had signed permission papers, giving the hospital rights to treat their son. They had placed their preferences of religion.

The receptionist, checking every detail, thanked them and told them to take a seat in the lobby and as soon as they were able to see their son, their names would be announced.”Why don’t you get a cup of coffee for the two of you,” she smiled saying. The husband  rocked his wife’s head on his shoulder and neither stood up.

It was an hour passing and a gentleman in a white coat, with a navy blue shirt and a bright red tie came out of the double doors. He walked to the receptionist and she pointed in their direction. The doctor neared them and asked them to verify their name.

“Please come with me.” He placed his arm around her shoulder guiding them through the double doors, into a green, cold hallway. He led them to the fourth door where he opened it for them to enter first. “Coffee?” Both shook their heads stating no.

The doctor sat behind his mahogany desk in his luxurious, leather chair. Clearing his throat and hesitating momentarily he began.” Do you have family near? Is their someone I can call to be here with you?”

“Why, why are you asking us these questions? Where is our son? What about  our son? Is he alright?” The doctor repeated himself with his prior questions. Both parents stood up. “What’s going on? We want answers now.”

“I am sorry I have to tell you this Mr. and Mrs. Miller. The staff did all they could. Their was just too much smoke for that little body. We couldn’t save him. Now is there someone I can call for you?”

“You bastard, you son-of-a bitch” You wouldn’t let us see our baby first. You demanded and the police almost held us captive wanting us to sign papers. We could have been holding our baby instead. He needed to know he wasn’t alone. I will sue this hospital, you hear me? I will sue you!”

The doctor stood up and walked around the desk. Placing his arm once again around her shoulder, he said in a softer voice.” I am sorry mam. I wish things could be different, but we have to follow the hospital’s regulations. We could be held liable if we didn’t. I understand how you feel. Now, is there someone I can call for you?”

(This story, I wrote, is fiction. Although I want it to give you something to think about. With all of the new laws and regulations, when does money  become more important than anything else?)

 

doctors

 

Depression


The voices told me to do it. He/she is depressed. Being out of work, I just couldn’t take the kids screaming any longer. Drugs made him/her do it.

We read and hear a lot in this world. I can’t begin to understand what makes people do what they do. All I can do is give my heart to those who want me to listen. I can relate to depression.

My mother used to say when she was alive that she didn’t believe in depression. She believed it was an excuse for a deeper problem. I am not sure if she was totally right. I know I have depression; but not a deep depression.

I don’t understand why I go through my bad days most times. I am alive, and loved, cared about, and my health could be worse. I understand days like yesterday when I was very sad. I hated it that my family and friends never mentioned my brother’s name.

Actually, they should not have to mention his name. I guess I just wanted someone else to understand and feel some of the pain and sorrow I was feeling since it was his second anniversary of being in heaven.

I couldn’t get myself motivated for crap yesterday. I didn’t want to get dressed, or even eat. Everything I did, I drug my feet fighting. I am glad the day is over. I don’t forget Al on any day, but those special days suck big time.

The real depression though. More people have it than we suspect. It isn’t a day or two of sadness. It can cause so many problems within our families, ourselves. I believe it can alter our thinking so that we do things we normally would not do.

Can people be on medications and function throughout life? I am not sure. Years ago when I was going through a real depression from a lack of personal connection between a family member and myself; I finally broke down and went and saw a therapist. I think I picked the wrong type for myself, as the way to fix me was to medicate me. All I wanted to do day after day was sleep.

In my opinion, that wasn’t a way to work through and heal, it was a blanket covering the problem. One day I got sick and tired of not wanting to be a part of the living. I found a Christian counselor, and we talked out my issues, and through time, I became 90% better than I was.

Do you know someone who is labeled depressed? What do you notice different about them from you? Do you believe that depression is a blanket for a deeper problem, or do you believe it is real?

Give me your thoughts.

orange 3