Picture It & Write, Prompt, Oct. 28th, 2012

There was a time when courting meant something. You met a guy, and after you talked a few times, you were asked out on a date. He came to your house, and met your parents, and they looked him over with their eagle eye, and asked a hundred questions, and then gave their approval for you to go out with him, letting him know, that in no uncertain terms, he had to have you home by ten.

You and he dated for quite a while, and he was invited to your home for holidays and get togethers. The entire family got to know him. After about a year, he stopped by your house and had that discussion with your parents, asking for your hand in marriage.

The affirmation that it was alright to advance, he picked out a nice restaurant, and after a fine meal had been eaten, you two left, and he took you home, but before he got out of the car to walk you to the door, he popped the question, you said yes, and you both kissed, then when inside and shared the exciting news with your parents, who already knew this was coming.

Speed up to today, and dating is totally different.  It is common to  hang out, runs in groups together. Meeting at bars, or dances, going to parties. You see someone who you think is real bad, and so you walk up to him, and let him know you are interested in your own special way.

If you are lucky, he is available, or you can also be unlucky and run face to face with his woman. You start hanging out, meeting up at some place you both enjoy going. Maybe he is thinking what a hottie you are and on his mind he is wanting to score, and if you feel the same way, you hook up sexually to see if you are both compatible to continue the dating game.

In the heat of the moment, no one uses any protection, and a life is formed, but no one wants it. The two of you split up, him saying he isn’t ready for any kid, and neither of you have any real means of taking care of or supporting a kid, so you abort it, or have it and end up living off of the system.

Or you two hang out together until a hot new face comes along, and then you switch partners, maybe passing along some crazy disease to your next mate. There is really no word called dating now, it is a me for me world, and the words, respect, dating, meeting the parents are not found in the new dictionaries. By the time you find the one you want to hook up with, and shack up with, one of you may have slept with numerous others, so the words, saving yourself for marriage, has been left by the wayside to shrivel up in the dry heat.

Or you can be brought up in a modern-day, learning that you count. You have been taught that it is alright to be different. You don’t have to be a size 3, in order to fit in. You have been instilled with the word confidence, and you walk proudly with your head held high, realizing that you can become anyone you so desire, with hard work.

You date, but you place yourself first, and you hang out with many guys and gals, flirting, having fun, and if you decide to become intimate, you take control and make sure that you have the correct protection with you, because although you are in the height of passion, you don’t want this messing up your plans for your future.

You work, he works, you both pay your own way when together. You both are working hard at developing long time careers. If you two find out that you want to be together, you make plans to move into an apartment together,and you set the rules up front, about who is going to pay what.

Right before moving in together, you both tell your parents that you are moving out, and you introduce the love of your life to them. While living together, you plan together, a wedding, and both of you start paying for the big day coming. The two of you start meeting other family members, and soon everyone knows the two of you are an item, and that you are getting married next year.

Times have really changed, and the way we do things has changed , but the goals are always the same. Grow up, find a mate, get married and have a family. Work hard and save money, buy a house and a new car, grow old together.




Calling All Flower People!

The bottom picture is one of my flowers I planted in the early spring. Although I have watered frequently, it shows that it doesn’t like my soft water near as well as God’s water. If I remember right, it is a hydrangea flower. Over three feet tall, and I have 13 bulbs in all. I am disappointed in the wilting of the leaves, but I can not control the drought here in Indiana.

The top photo is what I am hoping is called Chicken and her hens? I am not sure, so I need your help. Is this what it is? I saw it all by itself, in the middle of spring, and felt bad for it, so I got some potting soil and gave it a new home. It has now grown over four inches in height.  What should I do with it when the frost comes? I hate to see it die.

You see, I love to photograph beautiful flowers, and look at them, but I can not identify them. I can not have them in the house, as I am allergic to fresh flowers. I tell everyone with laughter in my voice, that if you know me personally and are a family member or friend, you will NOT send roses to my funeral, as I am terribly allergic to roses more than any other flower. I promise I will scare the pants off of you by rising up out of the coffin and sneezing and giving signals that I need a kleenex.

Your Advice And Help Would Be Appreciated

Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglica...

Stained glass at St John the Baptist’s Anglican Church http://www.stjohnsashfield.org.au, Ashfield, New South Wales. Illustrates Jesus’ description of himself “I am the Good Shepherd” (from the Gospel of John, chapter 10, verse 11). This version of the image shows the detail of his face. The memorial window is also captioned: “To the Glory of God and in Loving Memory of William Wright. Died 6th November, 1932. Aged 70 Yrs.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: Satan as Antichrist

English: Satan as Antichrist (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I haven’t spoken lately of my journey with my brother’s illness. Not much has gone on as there has been much peace.This all ended last evening.

I took him to eat at his favorite buffet restaurant. He enjoyed the company of strangers sitting next to us. I don’t say anything anymore to him, trying to stop him so that the others can eat. I figure I have tried several times, and he seems to love socializing, so I let it alone.

We got home, and the light bulb switched off inside his head, and he went from the opposite of peace to troubled. He and I spent two hours, chatting back and forth, me trying to explain that he is looked at by me as a valued human on this earth. His comeback was that he is useless. His comments that he runs into things, that he can barely walk, that his tremors are out of control bothers me greatly. He and I have this same conversation at least weekly. The same points are made by each of us each time. I have explained to him many times, in the most simple terms I can think of, that God is good, and Satan is bad.

I believe that Satan is playing my brother. I believe that Satan may believe that Al’s time may be not so many months or years away, and that he wants to do everything in his power to try to take Al’s soul. I believe this, because Al spends many hours in his Bible. I can’t tell you how much he understands of what he reads, but I believe that his memory is still sharp as a tack of all the years that he went to church, so his memory may be understood more than his actual reading.

I have tried so many things to help Al with this difficult time in his life. I have sat with him and we go over Bible verses. I have explained to him many times that God is with him and will take care of him. I take him many places to get his mind off of his illness. I have had our minister here and an anointing was done for Al, and also his room anointed. I ask from my readers many prayers, along with my own prayers.

Is the mental challenge that he carries within himself, keeping him from understanding what I am saying? Is it the fear that he carries about his illness and dying that is stronger than anything I could possibly say to him? Is Satan working overtime?

I do not know where to go anymore. I feel very frustrated but most likely not as frustrated as he is. My heart bleeds when I hear him say such negativity about himself. When I see his tears fall, and his voice rising to me, wanting me to desperately believe him when he says he is bad, I want to walk away from him, in order to not have to lie and say what he wants to hear. I can not agree with him, when he wants me so badly, to say that he is bad, that he deserves this, that he is being punished, and that he is useless.

What can I do my friends? What can I say? Do I bother the minister with another anointing? Do I pretend not to hear Al, in order to not start another argument or discussion?

Do any of you take care of a family member, or are you a professional caregiver for a person who also believes as Al does? If, so what do you do, how do you handle this?

Is this something that I need to accept, that this depression is a part of his illness? The professionals have tried many depression drugs, and so far not one has worked. This makes me believe it may be partly due to his mental challenges. I don’t know, but I do know that I feel for him. I love him, and I am reaching out, yet another time for your help.

Tired, Or Wrong Side Of The Bed

Ever feel like you got up on the wrong side of the bed? I am pretty sure this is me today. I got up after only having six hours of sleep. At my age now, to feel excellent all day and be able to deal with people and Al, I need eight hours of sleep. Nothing major happened today, but nothing fantastic happened either. I did the laundry, hanging the sheets out on the line. I love the smell of sheets hung outside. I did a couple of more loads also. Al has not been done anything out of the ordinary. He has talked to the newscasters on the noon news and still is tonight on the nightly news. A blogger friend had just told me today, that she doesn’t watch the news. I don’t know why I do either. Habit, I expect. It is something we do daily. Al tells them off giving them his opinions. I think he would be a great guest on a television show that is based on arguments. I have to admit news is depressing. In your own home without television, you make the best of your day, minding your own business. Once you turn the news on, you get sad hearing how priests are engaging in sexual ways with children. I heard one guy tonight that was found guilty of killing a young boy. He was found guilty of all fourteen counts. They said he could possibly be in prison for over three hundred years. To me this is silly, but I don’t understand the judicial system. Most of us won’t live to be one hundred, but you get a three hundred year sentence. Maybe this guarantees that this person will never be able to have early release.  Now, I hear that a teacher had sex with a high school student. The teacher says it was consented sex. To me, there is no excuse. We look up to teachers, priests, ministers, policeman. Aside, from the news, I have noticed that my blogs don’t do as well as they used to. Have I not prayed hard enough to say the right words? I find myself worrying some what. People come into my blog world and move on their way, replacing old with new bloggers. Somehow I have to get over and done with this stupid insecurity. It is making me crazy. I don’t want to stress out about anything more in life. I don’t want to stress over Al, or my stories, or monies, or bills. I just want to have days of back in the seventies, where the word Peace was the word for the day. I can’t even blame anyone for this. It is brought on by my own doings. I think I need a life like Bird, or Terri. They seem to  have it together. They are strong women, who know who they are. Maybe I am just tired and still need that break, the respite break. The nursing home that I contacted for the break is charging between 220-250 dollars per day. I would love to say great! When can I bring him in? The fact is though, I don’t work. I care for him, and he doesn’t work because he is ill. We do alright. We have our bills paid and there is food to eat, but we can not afford this kind of prices. I just need to face the facts. I have tried everything everyone has suggested. Nothing works. No one so far in this city, is able to direct me to someone who can  help me. God has me doing this work for Al and I should not question it, but I am tired. I feel like lying down and sleeping for days, but I can not. I rely on my blogs and my comments to keep me going. Bad idea? Don’t become too dependent on other people? I know, I shouldn’t rely on others to lift me up, but I do. Am I whining? Maybe, I don’t really know. All I do know is that I need something, but what…….