Third Night’s a Charm

I know what people mean when the describe the good and the bad days, when there is a terminal illness. I have seen them both. It used to be good days most of the time. Now it is good days part of the time mixed up with a couple bad drinks swallowed leaving a sour taste in my mouth.

When Al came home from the Hospice house it was let’s throw a party time. Decorate the bedroom with coca cola streamers. Put the party hats on. Get the blow horns out. By Sunday the new medication that he was put on disappeared. It was like a magic show that stopped short in the middle of the act.magic showparty hats Put the party hats a way, tear down the streamers, because the party has just moved on.

Put on the sad face.sad-face Place the night-cap on because it is going to be a long night.night cap

This is exactly what happened Sunday and Monday evenings.

I didn’t go outside and enjoy the stars.flashing star I didn’t sit around the campfire shooting the shit.july 4th firepit

I stayed inside and listened to screams of wanting to die. I heard moans of pains.

The tremors and sweating were back in full force. Monday they were not quite as bad, but because of Al not having a Sphincter muscle sphincter muscleand the amount of pain pills he takespain pills he became constipated yesterday.constipation-3

After trying all the prescriptions I had on hand for him, plus the prune juice, apple juice and M.O.M. I was forced to once again call the nurse.telephoneNURSE JACKIE

It took a while but with the help of her and what she brought, Al found some relief.

Two nights in a row, we didn’t get to bed until 1a.m. Two nights in a row the Hospice nurse has been here.

Two nights in a row Al and I fell into bed exhausted.

I tried to get him to stay home today from day program, but he would not consider it. He was more like a rag doll this morning. Slow, mushy and no expressions.rag doll

I am hoping that he is laying back in his new wheelchair snoozing and I can tell you that I am hitting the couch as soon as I say goodbye to all of you.

I still have faith though. I have faith that this illness, M.S.A. needs a break and that tonight, it will be better.

Good night friends, I am off for a nap.

A True Story, A Little Scare

I have a little shiver that just ran through my body. Did you ever have that feeling something is not right? Or someone is in your home but you don’t see anyone?

Al woke up alright today. I washed him up, and fixed him breakfast. He had a banana nut muffin, scrambled eggs, two sausage links and apple juice.

Afterwards, I shaved him and trimmed all the hairy parts that seem to grow only on a man’s head or face, or maybe both. LOL

I put him in his lift chair and he listened to his audio tape player with the New Testament on testament

I made a cheese cake for his lunch and when the time was right, he had new  baby potatoes, meat loaf, corn and cheesecake. I was doing what I had to do since he refused his meals yesterday and I won. He ate 100% on both meals.

He started the sweating thing and the tremors are back but they aren’t too bad. He is so cold and clammy to the touch. It sort of gives me an odd feeling when I touch him.

After lunch was over he tried to use the toilet with no success. I changed his brief and put him in bed. As I was coming out of his bedroom I went and got the clean laundry I had done from his bed change this morning.

As I walked back in to his room I  heard him say, ” I love you Mom.”

I didn’t say anything and walked back out of his room. As I passed the front door, the screen door closed. I instantly turned around to see who was there. No one was there. I don’t know why but I opened it and closed it again, making sure it was latched.

I looked out on the ramp and I saw no one. It made me have a hint of shivers but I just ignored it. It must have been the wind I thought. I walked a way from the door and then I got scared.

The television that has been on the same channel all day and at the same volume was suddenly blaring. It was so loud it made me jump in my spot. I raced over to grab the remote and turn it down. I had to click the volume button a few times before I got the volume back to a normal hearing level.

With this being the second startle I slowly checked out the house. I started with my bedroom, and made my way through the house. I saw nothing. Although I had just came from Al’s room I went back there one more time; just to check. Al was talking to Mom.

I left his room and came out here and sat down at the computer. I heard the cat eating, but when I glanced over the cat wasn’t there. I don’t know what the explanation is but someone or something is definitely here.


Interesting Day

When I arrived today to see Al, he was crying and so upset with the staff. He and I had talked yesterday about him trading his diet hot cocoa in and drinking a glass of apple juice instead since it is warmer outside.

He evidently tried doing it for lunch but they wouldn’t let him. Two nurses showed up at his table once they saw Al trying to explain to me what was going on. They didn’t know why he couldn’t have the juice. Maybe it was too much acid with the daily orange juice at breakfast. Maybe he couldn’t have the hot chocolate and the apple juice.

Both nurses told Al and me that they would ask the proper person on Monday. I begged them to let him have the juice. This was his birthday party after all and one glass would not hurt or kill him I thought, but they would not budge.

So it didn’t make a real good start to Al’s birthday party. Eventually he gave it up when he began eating his cake and ice-cream. I didn’t hear anything else about it as he was opening his gifts I gave him. I bet the facility hears about it at supper tonight though.

Al smiled a few smiles for me and then he got tired and started to hurt. That ended the party and I cleaned up while an aide helped him go potty. I sat with him while he and I watched TV and then he fell asleep.

I told him I would be back later and that I loved him. I think all in all he enjoyed his special time. Here are a few photos I took of him today.

al's birthday cardA singing birthday card that got a good smile out of him when he listened to it.

al's birthday partyGetting ready to open a gift after eating some cake.

Al's carOne of his gifts that got another smile.

Al's car 1His other car that got a big smile.

After I left Al sleeping I stopped at a local laundry mat and dropped off my winter comforter to be cleaned. I couldn’t believe they were or are going to charge me $15.00. The prices sure have risen. But, I can’t fit it in my washer at home so I guess I will pay it.

I also stopped at a yard sale that was close to my house. I found these and placed it on my website for sale. I will give you the link if you would care to look at anything. Everything is negotiable if you are interested. If you want to pay the S&H for your area, I will be glad to mail it to you.

black vaseWell I guess you get to see a bit of background of my house in this.

An oval photo of a military man in a bubble glass frame

the immigrantsA small paper book about immigrants.

If any of you can help I would appreciate it. Even a donation of a coffee would help.


oval picture