I am sorry I lost it. I feel so ashamed for my behavior earlier. The thought of Al not being able to walk anymore sort of made me crazy. I try so hard to stay a tough heart person but I guess I suck at it.
It isn’t truly that Al will can not walk, it is that it isn’t safe for him to walk. The little bit of muscle he has left will be drained quickly. I talked to them and there will be no more therapy, no more leg exercises, only arms, to strengthen more or as much as possible to now keep the wheel chair going by himself.
Everything in stages. Walk alone, then learn to walk with walker, then different muscles to learn to push the wheelchair before someone has to push him. I know that I will survive and I appreciate all of the prayers.
I feel like the only way I can get through this is to be hard skinned. I see that a lot these days. People pretending they don’t care about anyone but their own life. No more helping hands unless you make them feel so guilty they reach out.
The world has changed and yet I have remained back in time. I really wish I wasn’t make out of cotton balls and fluff clouds. I wish I could just say, hey, this is the deck that I was dealt, so deal with it.
I went back and read that blog and my face blushed. I sounded like a kitten that got its tail run over. There are so many people who are facing bigger challenges than Al. I am ashamed and so I am sorry I acted like a big baby.
Nothing has changed since I wrote it but minutes ticked by on the clock. No one was waiting for me to wake up after my nap. I still had to make my own supper when I got up. So I need to deal with what life throws me. I am the biggest one to reach out to others and be there, but I am the worst at staying strong myself.
Can I turn this heart and soul in on a newer model? I need to be updated. Please someone check the chip in my brain. I think it is burnt out.
- New Parkinson’s Disease Exercise Program Alleviates Patient Suffering (prweb.com)
- Parkinson’s treatment can trigger creativity: Patients treated with dopamine-enhancing drugs are developing artistic talents, doctor says (sciencedaily.com)
- Saliva gland test could diagnose Parkinson’s disease (vancouverdesi.com)
- Tai Chi Training Improves Stability in Patients with Parkinson’s Disease (scienceabstracts.wordpress.com)
- Pesticides and Parkinson’s: Further proof of a link uncovered (sciencedaily.com)
- Parkinson’s can lead to anxiety and other non-motor symptoms, even early on (medicalxpress.com)
- New Saliva Gland Test For Parkinson’s Promising (medicalnewstoday.com)