Walking In Faith

洗髮精 Johnsons' baby shampoo.

I know it isn’t the prettiest subject, but my life is not always pretty. You want to know the good and the bad in my days right? I always said life is not really a bed of roses.

Right after supper last evening I got this tiny sharp pain beside my eye. No, it wasn’t from my throw together meal. LOL. I heard you thinking. It didn’t go a way, and by bedtime, I wasn’t in any crucial pain, but that stab was still there.

I went to use the lady’s room prior to jumping in my nice warm flannels sheets and I saw the culprit staring back at me in the mirror. I panicked a bit My one eye lid was pretty swollen. Oh no, I am supposed to stand in front of people on Thursday and give a verbal reading of my poem. What am I going to do now. I don’t want to miss this opportunity and I also don’t want to be questioned.

For the past two years the doctors are letting me know that I am getting older. Me? Getting older? Well, when the doctor says it, I guess I will believe it also.

My eyes are showing their age also. This is about the fourth time I have gotten another infection in my eye. A tear duct gets plugged. It doesn’t stick with just one eye, it goes to either one, but I have never had it in both at the same time. My eye lid gets swollen and tears run down my face. I have to use this gel type medicine and put it on my eye lid and hope I did a good enough job that it will saturate up under the lid. The antibiotic in it then heals the tear duct, unplugging it.

I put the gel on at bedtime but when I got up this morning it was in full force to the naked eye. I need to use this gel three times a day and it had been used once in several sleeping hours. I did as the doctor said. I washed my eye with Johnson’s baby shampoo and then applied the gel. It is almost time to use it again and now the redness is mainly gone. I am just stuck with the eye that looks like someone punched me.

I am going to go to the book reading tomorrow. I am not contagious, and I really don’t want to lose the opportunity to do this. Maybe a door has been opened for me, who knows. I did not see Al today because it is an infection and all kinds of germs run rampant through nursing homes. I haven’t seen him since Sunday in fact because of the frigid temperatures. I did call him but he could not talk as he was playing bingo. I told the nurse to tell him that I would be in tomorrow afternoon. The weather will be better and I also don’t want him to think I don’t care. My eye should be much better as the medicine works quickly.

Now to the last topic. You all know I have been praying without hearing anything about needing to work. For weeks I heard nothing. I placed ads without anything positive coming from it.

Two days a go I had this idea come into my mind but I brushed it off. I was afraid. Afraid of not being able to write anymore. Afraid of losing my friends on here and afraid of not being able to do any type of work because of my bad feet. I can’t stand very long and I can’t sit very long.

Well after the second day of swatting this fly a way, he kept returning. It was getting on my nerves to be quite honest. Have you ever had something on your mind that no matter how you tried to dismiss it, it would not leave until you dealt with it?

I made a couple of calls that my mind kept telling me to do. I have no answers but there is a chance that a program will assess my damages from my diabetes and they may be able to find a match for me that fits my health.

I still  want to worry about not being able to write. Writing has become such an important part of my life. It represents who I am. I have a sneaky feeling that God is behind this. He is answering. If it is him, he already knows my dreams. He will guide me through each door and put me right where I am supposed to be. I believe this is called faith, and I am going to walk in faith that this will turn out alright. I probably won’t have answers yet Friday. From what I was told there is many steps to this.

I feel and did feel calm after I made the phone calls. So now I will not worry or bite my nails or eat everything in my cupboards. I will trust, just plain trust and go to the scheduled meeting Friday afternoon.