I’m So Pissed I’m Steaming


Last night I smelled something wrong when I went in to check on Al. It smelled highly of urine. I checked the catheter bag and it was empty. With the help of my friend being here we started investigating Al’s body.

His shirt was soaked in urine. I called  Hospice and informed them of the change. They sent a nurse out with the intention of changing the catheter and accessories.  I want to add that I have asked a few times if Hospice could change his catheter more than the normal once a month and they have refused. With the illness attaching itself to the internal tubing. I think it should be changed every two weeks, but it is against policy.When she arrived she did what she needed to do but ran into a snag.

The catheter was stuck inside of Al. Now, I want to back up to a couple of days prior. I had reported to the nurse twice that Al has stated he has to pee but he can’t. I have also said to Hospice that Al has a liquid coming out of the tubing going into his penis that looks exactly like KY Jelly.

Nothing was replied back nor checked into. So I have now come back to last night. The nurse tried and tried to pull the tubing out of Al but the tubing was stuck. She contacted another nurse who said she didn’t know how to  help.

She called another nurse who did come out. Together they pulled the tubing out. There was some bleeding but the nurses repeatedly told me there may be a little bit of bleeding but it would stop by morning.

This morning when Al was checked there was blood running down between the legs. There were blood clots at the top of the tubing. He is still bleeding and complaining of burning. The catheter bag itself, is filled with blood about 250cc.

I immediately called Hospice and asked for a visit. The regular nurse was not in. Another nurse got on the phone and said this was perfectly normal. According to the two nurses that came out last night made comments that in all their years of nursing they had never seen this happen.

The illness of M.S.A. had attached itself to the inner tubing, and so when they tried to remove it through the small opening of Al’s penis it wouldn’t budge without being pulled. So now as it stands, this isn’t the normal day Hospice would come out.

The  nurse said to me on the phone today that if she had to come out it would not be until later this afternoon. Then she said this is so normal that Al could bleed all day today and tomorrow.

I asked her repeatedly where the entrance of the tubing inserted to. I knew  the answer but I wanted to hear hers. She kept saying the tissue. I said what tissue? Where is it going when it is inserted?

She then stated, ” I will have another nurse call you.” I said, ” I asked you where the tubing went into.” ” Into tissue.” In the end she said, ” Well do you need a nurse later this afternoon or maybe you could just keep an eye on it and let us know if you see anything odd.”

End of conversation. No nurse coming. Al bleeding. I am so steaming pissed off I could blow steam out my nose. I can’t even change  Hospice at this point as Al is too close to death for any change.

purple candlesHere is a clip from a web page My Health that I am pasting here to let you know I am not just over reacting.

As stated above, trauma is an ever-present facet of catheterization. However, there are rare cases when the catheter has caused some sort of physical damage either because it was too thick or if the balloon was overinflated for an extended period of time. In either cases, contacting your physician as early as possible will allow you to get the condition checked out and fixed.

With regards to an infection, physician attention is critical. The urinary bladder is technically supposed to be a sterile area. If an infection were to occur within it, you will become sick and will need to be put on a course of antibiotics to be treated. The longer a urinary infection remains untreated, the more difficult it will be to remove it. The presence of blood in your catheter bag in tandem with a urinary tract infection will open up a pathway for the bacteria to cross into your bloodstream, so you should contact your doctor immediately when you detect heavy amount of blood in your catheter bag.

Blood Everywhere


When I got Al off the bus I saw blood on his fingers. The driver said he must have done it while she was driving. When I got him in the sunlight I could see he had done some heavy-duty picking to his forehead.

I took him inside and cleaned him up and finished preparing dinner. When I glanced back at him there was blood pouring down his glasses and side of his face. He had put his hands in it so I had mess number two to clean up.

This time I put a piece of gauze and a band-aid over the injured area and went back to wash my hands and continue with supper. Thank goodness it was an easy supper tonight. Baked fish with baked french fries, cottage cheese topped with pineapple. Dessert was already made as you saw from my prior post.

I turned to look at him to make sure all was well and the gauze and band aid was soaked. Now it has been an hour since he got off the bus. I felt I had no choice but to call Hospice. Upon the call I was told she was with another patient and would call me on her way up.

The office is an hour from our house. I knew it wasn’t an emergency but still he had been bleeding for some time now. Due to the fact he takes blood thinners and can’t hold his head up were making things worse.

We went ahead and ate supper between me changing out covered ice-cube patches and then the phone rang. The nurse who was to come had to go to an emergency on another patient that was struggling with breathing.

Of course go to them, this is not an emergency. Hopefully this will subside on its own. I ask the triage nurse if I could lay him down and she said yes. I changed his brief and the entire time I have him in his room he is yelling, ” I am stupid, I am a failure, you may as well toss me in the trash.”

I told him to stop. I told him that was foolish talk and it upsets me when he talks this way. He kept on going. I was forced to give him one of his emergency pills. It still hasn’t taken effect but his room is quiet.

I am going to go back and check the bleeding spot. Maybe I can tell the nurse she doesn’t need to come. Maybe the bleeding has stopped.nurse

Continuing Story Part 31


Drake and Dahlia arrived at the hospital and went to the lady at the front desk and asked

Dahlia x hortensis

what room Drew was in. The lady questioned who he was and he said brother, and she told him the room number.

They took the stairs slowly so Dahlia would not trip over herself and made it to the third floor and then walked the halls until they found Drew’s room numbered, and then walked in. Drake was shocked to see his brother.

He was in a big plastic tank, and his mother, upon seeing them at the door walked over and told each of them  that Drew had pneumonia and that the plastic covering would help Drew’s lungs. Drake took hold of Dahlia’s hand and together they walked over to where Drew laid. Drew acknowledged their presence with his eyes, and Drake could see that his brother was definitely sick, as he witnessed blood splatter when Drew coughed.

They stood for a moment looking down at him and Drake and Drew touched hands from each side of the tank cover. This pulled at Drake’s heart and he then stepped back, walking back to where his mom and dad were sitting.

Rachel said that they had found Drew almost collapsed on the floor and their was a small amount of blood on the floor where he had been coughing. They had called the doctor and the doctor had told them to get him to the hospital right away.

The doctor said they had brought him in time, that he was going to be alright, but he did not know if the cancer would recognize this weakness in Drew’s body and decide to move faster. This was going to be a waiting game, but he was sure that he could heal the lungs for now.

Some of the boarders had shown up at the door, and Drake and Dahlia stood up and walked over to them and explained what was going on. Rachel told the ladies to come on in, and Drake told Dahlia that they should take their leave now, so Drew would not have to many visitors at once. Drake walked over to the big mask covering Drew’s top half of his body and told him they would be back later, and to take care, and to hurry up and come home. Drew made a small smile showing that he understood.

Drake and Dahlia back out in to the fresh air talking  among themselves about Drew, and Drake said that he could see the tired looks in his parents faces, so why didn’t the two go home and make something easy for supper that could be reheated. Dahlia thought this was a good idea, and she hugged her fiance for being so thoughtful and caring.

They went home and saw that hamburger was thawing in the refrigerator, so he took it out and opening the wrapper of it placed it in a bowl, and while he made a meatloaf out of it, Dahlia scrubbed potatoes, and made a salad. In no time at all, the meatloaf was baking, the potatoes were sitting beside the meatloaf, and the salad was in the refrigerator keeping chilled.

When the two had cleaned up their mess, Dahlia said that she was going to change clothes and go out to her balance bar to practice some moves that she wanted to help her students with, and Drake said that he would help her also. She laughed out loud and asked him what he knew about dancing, and he laughed back and asked, you do not realize that I understand your kind of dance?

Without waiting for a response, Drake walked into the living room and found a record that he loved to dance to and one that was smooth and romantic. He had seen his father dancing with his mother to this record. He placed the record on the record player and then walked over to Dahlia and reaching for her hands, he led her into the middle of the living room floor, and wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her close and they danced.

Dahlia looked up into his face and said that the dance she was going to practice was ballet, and not this kind of step, but  felt her body once again beginning to turn into butter, as he led her around the living room ever so gracefully. Drake let his one hand slide down to the curve of her butt and soon his other hand met the other and Dahlia held him tight around his neck, and the music swept them through the room.

It was like magic  in the air and roses bloomed and spread their perfume throughout the room. As the two held each other so close, Dahlia could feel a hardness near her abdomen, and when Drake saw that she had noticed his desires, he led her to the couch and gently lifted her down on to the couch, letting her head rest up on a soft pillow.

He began by kissing her lips and then kissing her forehead and neck and then back to her lips. He parted her lips and moved his tongue  inside of her mouth and filled her mouth and lips with heat and desires.

He then glided his lips down to the curvature of her breast and he kissed what was revealed and with one hand he cupped one in his hand and gave a gentle squeeze. Dahlia heard a small gasp escape from her throat and she drew herself closer to him, as his hand reached behind her and unbuttoned the top few buttons. He moved his hand to her chest once again, allowing his skin to touch her soft velvety skin. Her body arched to meet his and he took this as a cue to move further, and soon his hands were making their way under her under skirt and he felt the heat that was flowing from her. He let his hand rest on the outer part of the cotton that kept the love she felt for him hidden away.

He started to slide his hand under her panties, and then the back door was heard opening, and the two of them jumped up and sitting  upright, Drake hurriedly buttoned back her few buttons, and both of them straightening their clothes out, they parted to each side of the couch.

Rachel and Ralph came through the door and the boarding ladies were following behind. They could hear the music playing and Ralph looked at Rachel with fond memories of their own dances, and wondered if they had broken a sin about to take place.

Saying hello to each other, Drake jumped up from the couch and as he went to the kitchen he yelled back at everyone that supper was ready, and they should all gather round for supper. Rachel walked over to Dahlia and kissed her lightly on the forehead for being so thoughtful as to get supper ready for them.

When all were seated Ralph announced that the doctor said he thought Drew would be resting comfortably tonight. The medicine was working in his system at this moment, and there was no reason for everyone to stay, that Drew needed his rest, and for them all to go home. If anything should happen, the nurse on duty would call them at once.

The supper hour was spent with people’s mind on Drew, and some were wondering what they had walked into in the living room. The meal was good and everyone thanked Drake and Drew for the delicious meal. After wards they all helped clean the table, and do the dishes.

Continuing Story Part 30


The days went by at school for the following weeks and Dahlia found herself loving her assistance job of helping tutor the dance students. Her teacher said that she was doing great work and that she could see improvements in the students work.

Drew continued to have his headaches, some days were not bad and other days, he had to have a fill-in teacher replace him, as his  headaches would place him in bed for the day. Several visits were made to the doctor for check-ups for Drew, and the doctor said the same repeat words each time. There is nothing that he can do anymore but to prescribe the pain medications, and that Drew’s life was now in God’s hands. Each Sunday the church would pray for Drew and there were even special times when hands were laid on Drew for healing.

Drake spent a lot of time with his students and helping them to get prepared for final exams. He stayed many afternoons with students that were requesting help, and if he was not doing this, he was spending time with his brother Drew, trying to comfort him by sitting with him for hours at a time.

When Dahlia had spare time, she would get a ride and go over and visit with her father. Her visits at first were strained, but each time she went to him, she learned more and more about him and within a month, the two found themselves not wanting to leave each other. Her father asked her once if she would consider moving back into the family home, but Dahlia declined his request, stating she had school to finish, and that she was planning on being married the day after graduation. She also was planning on having a job lined up before school was over.

She explained to him that although the two of them had drawn much closer, she could not do as he wished, but she would continue to visit. The hours they visited with each other were filled with many questions and through these talks many questions had been answered.

On Saturdays, Drake and Dahlia went shopping. They had went to the church and asked for an open date for their wedding and asked the minister if he would kindly marry them, and the minister had agreed to both of their request. The two went shopping also for Dahlia’s wedding dress and Drake found a nice suit for himself. He was going to wear a jet-black suit, with a white shirt underneath, with a sky-blue tie. They found a dress for Dahlia, and she used some of the money left to her from her mother, and picked out a dream dress, every little girl wants.

The dress was virgin white in color, and it was tight-fitted at the waist. The dress was knee-length, and under the taffeta was layers of lace that was so beautiful to her touch. Covering the entire dress was baby pearls. The neck was a scoop neck line. The veil that matched was a veil that protruded half-way down her back. It was made of total lace and the head-piece was decorated in baby lilies, with pearls mixed in between the flowers. She had no need to have anything done to the dress as far as altering, as the dress fit perfectly. She paid for the dress and left it at the store for safe keeping.

Dahlia and Drake met up at the little town cafe after their shopping for their outfits, and they had lunch. Dahlia was so excited over her dress. She explained to him how it felt on her and how it felt when she ran her fingers over the lace and the little pearls. She said that she hoped he would love it as much as she did, and he said not to worry, he would love her if she wore only her every day dress. She smiled at him when he said this, and he reached under the table and squeezed her leg to let her know how much he loved her this very minute.

After they ate their lunch, he took her and walked her out the door and they walked a few doors down and he opened a door and told her to follow him in. She asked where they were and he told her they were at the jewelry store where he had purchased her ring.

He led her to the counter and when the sales girl approached them, he asked to see pearl earrings. Dahlia could not believe he was going to consider buying her another gift. She remained quiet as the sales girl showed Drake a few sets of what she thought he may like. Without asking Dahlia, he picked out a pair that he knew would look perfect on her delicate ear lobes, and told the lady that he wanted to purchase these, and he held the box out to her. She said that he had made a wonderful choice, and she reached over and placed her hand over Dahlia’s hand, and said, you are a lucky lady to have found a man with such wonderful taste, and this made Dahlia smile. She also made a mental note to herself that she needed to come back here on her first free day and pick out a ring for Drake.

The two walked out of the store hand in hand, the box in Drake’s pocket and each were smiling at the world and to them, there was no one else on the streets. They walked home and the house was quiet. Drake called out but no one answered. As he went through the house, he came into the kitchen and found a note for him left on the table.

It said that Drew had begun vomiting and there was traces of blood in it.They had called the doctor and the doctor ordered them to bring Drew to the hospital and he would meet them there.

Drake read the letter to Dahlia and he told her he needed to go to the hospital now, and did she want to go along or to stay here, and she answered quickly, that she considered him a part of her family, and she wanted to be nowhere else but there with him also.

Dahlia