I Was Once Lost


Jake had been sitting in his boat for a couple of hours fishing. The blue waters were calm. The boat rocked gently as another boat passed his way.

Life had not been exciting for him. He had done good in school. He always listened to his parents. He was never in any trouble with the law. He was smart and yet no one had observed his potentials.

Part of him felt he was a cast-a-way. At times he felt like he didn’t fit in anywhere. He had never sparked a young lady’s eye. Was this what life was all about? Just living with no purpose?

He suddenly jerked up from his thoughts. He had a nibble on his line. His Mama would be proud when he brought home a fine supper. Watching closely his line start to pull tighter. He stood at attention ready to snag this meal.

With a jerk the line took off. Jake was fighting to keep a hold of his pole. He was struggling. The boat began to rock faster. Waves  from the moving boat were trying to suck him in. He could no longer concentrate on his taut line as he was trying to hold onto his balance.

With a sudden jerk he was over the edge. The once friendly  boat turned on its belly and his gear floated in the water around him. He thrashed through the waters trying to rescue  his equipment he had saved for so long for. With one hand trying to grasp at floating objects, his other hand trying to turn the boat back over.

He was becoming tired. The nippy waters were hugging his legs. He took deep breaths as he went under the waters and then bounced back up. He yelled “help, help me someone”. No one heard him as he was too many yards from dry land.

Exhaustion took over his body and he felt himself slip slowly into unrealities of another world. He prayed quickly for a higher existence to save him. He quickly pictured his Mama and Papa and two sisters and mentally kissed them good-bye.

His body submerged beneath the waters; he became unconscious. How much time had passed him no one knew, by but when he came too he was lying in the bottom of a boat. Not his boat, but a strangers.

Someone had covered his wet body and he heard a voice talking to someone. He looked around him and didn’t see anyone else here. The guy flipped off the button on his walkie-talkie and looked at Jake.

“I just called shore-line and told them I was bringing you in. I saved your life son. You almost drowned” his rescuer said. Jake looked at him and said,” How did you find me”?

“I had been fishing back from you a ways. I saw your boat tumble and turn over. I hurried to you as fast as I could. It was no big task. Anyone could have done it. What’s your name son? My name is Kirby”.

“Jake” he said as he shivered and tried to sit up.

“Whoa there mate. Take it easy. Just relax. You had the life knocked out of you. Soon we will be back to shore and the pros can take a look at you”, Kirby said matter of fact.

For several moments no one spoke. Jake looked up at the blue skies filled with cumulus clouds. The sky seemed to go on forever and ever. Breezes were calm and the waters hitting the side of Kirby’s boat was all that could be heard.

” I heard you calling for help Jake before I ever laid eyes on your boat. Were you trying to drown yourself? Is your life that useless to you”?

Jake stared up at his face. He was thinking, if you were so far a way, then how did you hear me? I wasn’t talking to anyone particular anyways. I was just speaking to myself.

“What makes you think I would ever try to end my life Kirby? You said you were too far a way at first to see me. Did you hear me scream for someone to help me”?

God heard your cry Jake. He used me as an instrument to come save you. I never heard your cries for help. God knew you really didn’t want to die. You just felt all alone and didn’t think you had any other place to turn”.

Jake looked at him and started to cry. Through sobs he explained, ” I feel like I have no place to fit in this world. I feel like a drifter, like no one notices me”.

Kirby said, “God always takes notice of his children. There is nothing you do or say that he doesn’t know. Do you know God”?

“Well yes, I have heard of him. He  helps the sick people and even the poor”.

Kirby replied,” He helps all who ask in the sincerest of voices. He ignores no one. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or  poor or even sick. He heard you, and now I am here. I am one of your guardian angels sent here by God to help guide you. You have been floating and missing the doors of opportunities God has left ajar for you. Now you will know with a little help from the one above which way to go.

There is one thing you have to do first though before any of this can happen”.

“What’s that Kirby”?

“You have to acknowledge God. You have to tell him you love and  believe in him and that you trust him to walk you through life. It is pretty simple really. Instead of trusting your own thoughts, listen for God to speak to you. He has all of your answers”.

Jake began to seek the skies trying so  hard to see God. He knew that he wanted what Kirby was offering. Words started to flow from his mouth. “I want this. I want God to help me guide me. I feel so lost. I can not do it myself any longer. I just mess up all the time. Can you help me tell God I want him to be with me”?

Kirby stepped closer to Jake. He knelt down and took Jake’s hands and folded them into his. ” Dear Father, this young man is ready. He has been lost and now he wants to be found. Cover Jake with your love oh Lord. Bring him comfort and peace. Let him always know you are  here with him. Jake, do you believe there is a God”?

” Yes I do” the young man replied.

” Then repeat these words. Father I love you. I want you to come live in my heart and soul. Be my provider and my guide from this moment on. Let me listen for your words. Let me feel your love around me”.

Jake repeated each word Kirby had said. Suddenly he felt lighter. He felt no shivers rippling over his body. When he looked at Kirby he was looking at him with a grin that spread from cheek to cheek.

A renewed strength seemed to take over. Jake was ready to tackle the world. He sat up and wrapped his arms around Kirby and said,” Thank-you, thank-you so much for saving my life”.

” Don’t thank me young man. Thank your Father. For without him you would  be lost, lost to the seas”.

Looking over Cumulus mediocris clouds over sou...

 

A Clown With Two Faces


Clown at Parkinson's Disease of San Diego 5k W...

Clown at Parkinson’s Disease of San Diego 5k Walk and Fun Run (Photo credit: gebl)

For my regular followers, you already know that my brother, Al, has Parkinson’s and is getting worse. I have also posted the last couple of days that he has not been acting his usual self. His confusion is worse, which could or could not be dementia. He is much more sad and doesn’t seem to enjoy much of life anymore.

For this blog part, I am not going to place any verbs, or adjectives, to give you a brighter or more imaginative picture. I am just going to be to the point and only put out facts that I know for sure, which is what I have noticed or heard.

I had every intention of blogging on here about the day, some time back when the temperatures were at least 100 degrees. I used to be very bold, and I was a lover of fishing. With the heat being so bad, I decided to go to the lake and rent me a row-boat and get out on the waters for some fishing and cooling off.

I didn’t have a boat motor, the oars and my arms were the only motor I had for use. I went about on the lake about 1pm and rowed myself about a third way out on the lake. The heat was just too bad, and the fish went down into the waters to stay cool. I came back in about two hours later still hot, and no fish.

It was July 4th, and my too independent mind neglected to tell anyone that I was going to go rent a boat, and so I got chewed out by my husband and my parents for doing this activity without letting anyone know.

The reason that I got chewed out so badly, was because at 7pm, that same day, four hours later, I delivered my firecracker baby boy!  That was my part of the national holiday, producing my very own fireworks!

So now today, thinking back to that day, and also seeing Al acting different, not knowing anything other than a few more tears, a few more frowns, and a listlessness, Al comes out to me and says he doesn’t want to keep any secrets from me, and that he has known something for two days.

He sat down on the couch, and started to cry and he said his time was close. I flipped around in my chair and said what makes you think that? He tells me God came to him, two nights ago and told him it is almost time. I asked him if this was just a feeling, or if he felt like he was just so sad, and he says to me NO, GOD TOLD ME. IT WAS VERY REAL, HE WANTS ME TO KNOW IT IS NEAR.

I told him how sorry I was and reminded him of how going to heaven was going to be the best thing that he would ever experience in his life, and I added no more pains or tremors. The tears stopped, and he said, I just wanted to let you know, and the conversation ended.

I am not going to read anything into this, or try to diagnose his comments. It is what it is, and only God and Al know the truth.

So for this day, I am a half-faced clown. On one half, I am smiling because it is my son’s birthday, and I have wonderful memories of this, and on the other half of my face, a big tear falls, a prayer goes up to God for Al, and sadness has sneaked in.

Free Write Friday, June 8, 2012


Lost at sea. The ship had overturned, and all were to be seen floating, including  me. The waters were so cold, even with the sun shining hot all around us. We had taken the boat out to enjoy a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Too many people enjoying this relaxing time. Lots of alcohol and plenty of food. I can remember watching different guys trying to help the captain of the boat steer it. Running into him or the wheel. Beer spilling on to the deck. Too loud laughter being heard. I found my own self even laughing at this scene. Women and men climbing the poles, hanging on to the sails, and climbing back down. The morals were thrown out the window that day. Even couples were making love right there on the deck for the whole world to see. I remember looking over the edge of the boat and seeing large fish swimming by and wondering if I also jumped in, if I could keep up with them. Shading my eyes with my hands, I could see an island way in the distance. It looked so small from here.  What started out was a plan, a day of relaxation. What ended up was more stress than I could even imagine at my very own job. The laughter and silliness kept rising, until finally  a fight broke out over who wanted to be the captain and steer the boat. People started panicking, screaming for the three men to stop. The fun was all over, break it up, but these words all fell on deaf ears. I saw one man have a bloody lip and another’ s eyes was beginning to swell. With the men forcing the wheel to go back and forth, and crazy ones dangling from the sails, the boat tipped. All I could hear is screams, fear rippling from their throats. Suddenly thrashing in the waters could be seen, and all were grasping for part of the ship they could cling to in order not to drown. Silence overcame the screams, as I knew all of us were reliving this day, and realizations of what we had allowed ourselves to become. Instant sorrow over took me for my stupidity of this day. I had let myself go out of control. Now we were each on an island of our own, hoping and praying for safety and rescue. The seas were calm, as I floated my way to the small island ahead.

Thank-you for allowing me to try my hand at Free Write Friday

http://kellieelmore.com/2012/06/08/fwf-free-write-friday-time-place/