When Are We Not Responsible?

Diseased Door

Diseased Door

I was told of a story recently and even after a few days of digesting it I am still bothered. Have you or I ever had life go entirely as we want and it to? Have either of us ever had things pop up that are hard to handle or even more can’t fix? I know I have.

As kids we are born innocent in this world. We are nurtured  as well as our parents know how. We become adults and have children of our own. The cycle of life repeats itself until you are filled with great-grandparents down to great-grandchildren.

What if a bump comes in the road and we don’t see it? We fall in and can’t get back out without help. Do we as family and friends turn our backs on that person? Or do we try to help them climb back out?

I am not talking about Al today. I am talking about an adult who had a great life. Makes mistakes as we all do but then is hit with an unexpected medical problem. Not all medical problems are cut and dry like the flu or maybe tonsillitis.

Some illnesses that stop by to take over are heart attacks and strokes or maybe even cancer. These types of illnesses can do more damage than the naked eye can see. It can change moods, brain waves, vision, hearing, muscle tone, weakness, and pain within the body.

So many changes that the ill person can  no longer control. What do we do now? How long do we stay around and help? Don’t we have a life of our own to live? Didn’t we go visit and pay our respects long enough?

These are questions that have been asked by some as people realize that family members are going to be stuck with these side-effects for months or maybe years to come.

When is my duty over? When can I go on with my own life? Just because an illness or stroke has taken over should we now leave them behind to suffer through until death comes knocking at their door?

I hope that my own answer is always no, never give up. Keep showing your love and keep being an inspiration to the one suffering. I heard of a human being that has suffered in this way. The illness is never going to be better. The strength is never going to be gained back.

Sometimes when we are sitting on the other side of the fence able to walk and run and play we can’t put ourselves in the shoes of the wheelchair patient. It is hard to imagine us ever being stuck in place.

But it happens, and this is sad. There are no guarantees in life for sure. This man’s family has been there but maybe could have squeezed in more time. Patience has run out, and the younger generations are tired and restless and ready to move on.

I completely understand this but what about the fact that they are relation? Does this not matter that only years earlier this patient was there for you in his good times? Is it alright to wipe him from your mind so that you can have a better time in life?

Are we entitled to move on and say the hell with him or her. I did my best. I spent time. I tried. Now this person is in danger of being left on his own, while others chase opportunities.

Oh I am not sure why I even bothered writing this. I can’t seem to get out the exact thoughts I want to be seen. All I know is that it is hurting me inside to realize that big changes are coming possibly, and the one that is going to be hurt is the patient. While the road seems greener on the other side of the fence, I still believe that blood is thicker than water. I would not rest well at nights until I knew that this human being was resting too, somewhere safe, somewhere out of danger.

Picture it & Write, Ermiliablog (Sensitive Subject Matter, Cancer)


lady in tubSoaking in a nice hot tub after spending the night with my husband was the icing on the cake. Allan, my husband was a salesman for a big corporation. He traveled extensively all around the world.

When he came home, he let his mind rest. He let work go, and our time together was heaven.

We had no children. Not because we didn’t want any, but because God hasn’t placed it in our plan of life.

Hi, my name is Christy. My husband Allan and I got married five years ago today. He is a very busy man, but I am still just as important to him today as I was years earlier. We weren’t sure if we were going to be able to get married or not.

Oh don’t get me wrong. We are crazy for each other. You remember those blood tests you must have in order to get married? Well, mine came back with something abnormal. I was sort of freaking out, but Allan held my hand as we crossed through the doors into the doctor’s office.

Allan held both of my hands and my heart when I was told they had discovered a rare blood disease called Multiple Myeloma. This is a cancer that attacks the plasma in your blood.

In fact this is what my good friends father had, so I was somewhat familiar with it. My walls came crashing down around me and the only life string I had at that moment was Allan.

The plans for the wedding automatically were placed on hold. I couldn’t think of planning. All I could think of was death. I wept on Allan’s shoulder at the news. In fact, I wept for days ahead also. I didn’t want to die. I was too young to die. Most people who are affected by this type of cancer are over the age of 50. I am only 32, so how can this happen to me? How can this be?

Allan traveled back when we were planning our wedding but not as much as now. He cancelled his appointments and we spent many hours with counselors and our church pastor.

We learned from these talks that we are not always given the life we wish for. Some times there are obstacles that come in our way. These are not meant to harm us. They are meant to draw us nearer to God, to lean on him and become stronger. I call them the tests of life.

With this knowledge in hand, we decided to go forth with our wedding. We knew not the season that this cancer would still my life. We only knew that we loved each other and that God was watching over us. For what ever time we had, we would live life to the fullest.

The bells rang and the bird seed was thrown. The horse and carriage carried us to our motel as husband and wife. Today, is our fifth anniversary. I am hopelessly in love, and deliriously happy.

I try not to look towards the future. For the only one who really knows our destiny is our own loving God. But instead I look to today. How to make the best of it. To be as upbeat and positive that I can be.

I now work part-time in a small office. I do promos for cancer benefits. While Allan is gone a lot, it is alright. Because when he is here, the world belongs to  us.

Daily Prompt; Mix Tape/ The Daily Post

I Want to Hold Your Hand

Put together a musical playlist of songs that describe your life, including what you hope your future entails.

Kindergarten; Me and little Timmy sitting inside the big plastic doll house together.

Beatles, I want to hold your hand/http://youtu.be/iim6s8Ea_bE

Ten years old, and my half-sister was born.

You don’t love me anymore, Eddie Rabbit/http://youtu.be/8qDCydGZXWE

Thirteen years old and I was having my first serious crush.

I think I love you,  Partridge Family/http://youtu.be/wJYSu2OVCGM

Eighteen years old, I was proposed to.

I think I want to marry you, Glee; Marry You/http://youtu.be/6m0m2K3Pu5I

My first child, a beautiful baby girl, 21 inches long, 8 pounds 13 ounces.

My little girl, Tim McGraw/http://youtu.be/9I5UV4VWCSk

In my thirties I wanted a divorce.

DIVORCE, Tammy Wynette/http://youtu.be/i2o9-jmtNoU

In my forties, my mother passed away.

Mama, Spicegirls/http://youtu.be/cW493uXzUP4

In my fifties my daddy died.

Daddy I miss you, Heaven 911/http://youtu.be/cW493uXzUP4

In my fifties, I started taking care of my brother.

He Ain’t heavy, he’s my brother, Neil Diamond/http://youtu.be/usZtSl8mX08

Today, I am rediscovering myself and I am a writer of short stories.

Finding my way back, Lee Ann Womack/http://youtu.be/TJKJ39OZr8w

Thank-you for sharing my life with me.



Continuing Story Part 30

The days went by at school for the following weeks and Dahlia found herself loving her assistance job of helping tutor the dance students. Her teacher said that she was doing great work and that she could see improvements in the students work.

Drew continued to have his headaches, some days were not bad and other days, he had to have a fill-in teacher replace him, as his  headaches would place him in bed for the day. Several visits were made to the doctor for check-ups for Drew, and the doctor said the same repeat words each time. There is nothing that he can do anymore but to prescribe the pain medications, and that Drew’s life was now in God’s hands. Each Sunday the church would pray for Drew and there were even special times when hands were laid on Drew for healing.

Drake spent a lot of time with his students and helping them to get prepared for final exams. He stayed many afternoons with students that were requesting help, and if he was not doing this, he was spending time with his brother Drew, trying to comfort him by sitting with him for hours at a time.

When Dahlia had spare time, she would get a ride and go over and visit with her father. Her visits at first were strained, but each time she went to him, she learned more and more about him and within a month, the two found themselves not wanting to leave each other. Her father asked her once if she would consider moving back into the family home, but Dahlia declined his request, stating she had school to finish, and that she was planning on being married the day after graduation. She also was planning on having a job lined up before school was over.

She explained to him that although the two of them had drawn much closer, she could not do as he wished, but she would continue to visit. The hours they visited with each other were filled with many questions and through these talks many questions had been answered.

On Saturdays, Drake and Dahlia went shopping. They had went to the church and asked for an open date for their wedding and asked the minister if he would kindly marry them, and the minister had agreed to both of their request. The two went shopping also for Dahlia’s wedding dress and Drake found a nice suit for himself. He was going to wear a jet-black suit, with a white shirt underneath, with a sky-blue tie. They found a dress for Dahlia, and she used some of the money left to her from her mother, and picked out a dream dress, every little girl wants.

The dress was virgin white in color, and it was tight-fitted at the waist. The dress was knee-length, and under the taffeta was layers of lace that was so beautiful to her touch. Covering the entire dress was baby pearls. The neck was a scoop neck line. The veil that matched was a veil that protruded half-way down her back. It was made of total lace and the head-piece was decorated in baby lilies, with pearls mixed in between the flowers. She had no need to have anything done to the dress as far as altering, as the dress fit perfectly. She paid for the dress and left it at the store for safe keeping.

Dahlia and Drake met up at the little town cafe after their shopping for their outfits, and they had lunch. Dahlia was so excited over her dress. She explained to him how it felt on her and how it felt when she ran her fingers over the lace and the little pearls. She said that she hoped he would love it as much as she did, and he said not to worry, he would love her if she wore only her every day dress. She smiled at him when he said this, and he reached under the table and squeezed her leg to let her know how much he loved her this very minute.

After they ate their lunch, he took her and walked her out the door and they walked a few doors down and he opened a door and told her to follow him in. She asked where they were and he told her they were at the jewelry store where he had purchased her ring.

He led her to the counter and when the sales girl approached them, he asked to see pearl earrings. Dahlia could not believe he was going to consider buying her another gift. She remained quiet as the sales girl showed Drake a few sets of what she thought he may like. Without asking Dahlia, he picked out a pair that he knew would look perfect on her delicate ear lobes, and told the lady that he wanted to purchase these, and he held the box out to her. She said that he had made a wonderful choice, and she reached over and placed her hand over Dahlia’s hand, and said, you are a lucky lady to have found a man with such wonderful taste, and this made Dahlia smile. She also made a mental note to herself that she needed to come back here on her first free day and pick out a ring for Drake.

The two walked out of the store hand in hand, the box in Drake’s pocket and each were smiling at the world and to them, there was no one else on the streets. They walked home and the house was quiet. Drake called out but no one answered. As he went through the house, he came into the kitchen and found a note for him left on the table.

It said that Drew had begun vomiting and there was traces of blood in it.They had called the doctor and the doctor ordered them to bring Drew to the hospital and he would meet them there.

Drake read the letter to Dahlia and he told her he needed to go to the hospital now, and did she want to go along or to stay here, and she answered quickly, that she considered him a part of her family, and she wanted to be nowhere else but there with him also.


Continuing Story Part 29

The next day at school, the dance teacher looked at Dahlia as she entered the door and

മലയാളം: ഡാലിയ പൂവിന്റെ ചിത്രം.

noticed that there was something aloof in her eyes. She went over to her and asked her how her weekend went, and Dahlia started to tear up. The teacher took her by the arm and walked her into her small office. Picking up papers and moving them to another spot, she then helped Dahlia to sit down beside her and she said tell me what is happening my best student.

Dahlia explained about the funeral for her mother and about how she never really knew how her parents felt about her until it was too late. The teacher said it is never too late my child, as long as there is breath coming from our lungs, it is never too late. You have your father, and with effort, you can involve him in your life. As far as your mother, yes, it is sad but true, it is too late, but the positive note is you know how she felt about you. The two chatted for a few moments later, and then standing she said to Dahlia that they needed to get to class, as it was about to start. Dahlia rose and the two made their way to the gym.

The teacher clapped her hands together to bring everyone’s attention on her, and all fell silent in the room as people took their places at the bar. Words that Dahlia had not heard before were being spoken in front of all. She heard the teacher say that there were a couple of students that needed some extra coaching, and that Dahlia was going to be her assistant for this week. Dahlia felt her face blush, but inside her heart beamed with pride.

The teacher started the class by telling them what exercises to do, and to work on the steps that were for the end of the school year recital. Once she saw everyone was working, she took two students and Dahlia to one corner of the room and explained to Dahlia what areas these two students needed work on. She asked Dahlia if she had any questions about what needed to be done, and Dahlia nodded now, and told her thank you for the opportunity to be of help. With this the teacher went about her work watching over the other students.

After school was over, she went to Drake’s class and the door was locked. She wondered where he was as this was not a normal thing. She then waited a few minutes to see if he would show up but he did not, so she turned away from the door and left the school. Using her cane, she walked home and entering the front door, she heard a lot of commotion.

Sue walked over to her and explained that she had been told that Drew was sick, that he had collapsed on the floor and Rachel had called the ambulance, and now the workers were here to help Drew. Sue and Dahlia walked to the kitchen to stay out-of-the-way. Although they could not see what was happening, they could tell that this must be a serious thing, if an ambulance was here.

Sue and Dahlia decided to help the other ladies start supper. To stand here and be idle was the devil’s advocate, but all ears were tuned in on the living room.  They had the table set and meat and potatoes were being fried on the stove, when Rachel came in and explained everything was going to be alright. Drew had a black out, which caused him to fall and as he fell he hit the coffee table edge and cracked his forehead open, and the ambulance technicians were in the living right now sewing his head wound shut. He was going to be alright, but tomorrow they would take Drew back to the doctor to have him checked out better.

Everyone in the kitchen breathed a sigh of relief and thanked God out loud for looking out for Drew. Rachel walked back into the living room and went around and straightened up things to keep her hands busy while the techs were finishing up with Drew. Soon they were finished and had her sign some papers, and then she walked them to the door and she watched them leave, and when she could see them no longer, she shut the door and went to Drew, who was now lying on the couch resting comfortably. He had been given an injection for pain and he was quite drowsy by now and he mumbled that he was fine but he wanted to sleep. Rachel covered him up with a blanket and turned the lights off and went towards her bedroom.

Rachel checker herself in the mirror, and then went in to her bathroom and splashed water on her face and combed her hair back into place. She tugged on her dress and got the seams back in place and then she went to the kitchen and joined everyone for dinner. A special prayer was asked for Drew that he had a quick healing and all said Amen in unison, and they began their meal, talking about what had happened at school that day.

Dahlia told about how she was helping the two students in dance class and Ralph told her how proud he was of her. He told her that he could see how good she was and how much improvement there was when he watched her on her balance bar. Dahlia smiled and said thank-you. Drake asked Dahlia if she could stay a few minutes after the kitchen was cleaned up that he wanted to discuss something important with her. Dahlia said that of course she would stay, and one of the ladies snickered kiss kiss, and this broke the tenseness in the room and all started to laugh.

Supper being over and the dishes being done, all left leaving Dahlia and Drake in the room alone. He took her by the hand and led her to the table and helped her to sit and then he pulled a chair up close to her and said that he needed to get something settled, that it had been on  his mind for days, and he could wait no longer for the answer. She said what is it Drake, what is so important that we need to talk about it now with Drew lying in the other room hurt.

Drake asked her if she had any change of mind about marrying him, and she laughed out loud. She asked him what would make him ask such a thing, that of course she loved him and she would never change her mind. Drake smiled and doing so he pushed back his chair a little and getting on bended knee, he pulled a black box out of his pocket, and  opening her hands he placed the box in them. She felt it and asked him what this was, and he said open it, just open it. She felt for the hinge and then opened the box. She touched what was inside and felt sharp edges and also a smooth stone. It was a ring. She looked up into Drake’s face and said this is for me? You bought me a ring? He said this is not any ring, this is an engagement ring. I want the world to know that I love you. I want to scream it to the heavens that you are my girl. I want to announce to everyone that the day after graduation you are going to be my wife. She held out her hand and he slipped the perfect fit diamond ring on her finger. She twisted it with her fingers and could tell that it fit perfectly. She threw her arms around his neck, and crying and kissing him at the same time, she told him  how much she loved him and she could not wait to marry him.

The kiss between the two would make a person melt if they had been peeking. The kiss sealed the yes to the marriage proposal and the wedding date. He kissed her eyes and kissed her tears, and then reached down and kissed her hands and kissed the ring. She leaned herself into him and pushed firmly against him, letting him know that not only did she love him but her body wanted to show him her love also. He held her passionately and tightly and the kiss was so explosive, that fireworks were exploding from the two bodies touching each other.

They finally let each other go and he said let’s go show mom and dad, and anyone else that is willing to look and listen. With this they went into the other room where most were sitting watching Drew sleep and Dahlia walked over to where Rachel was sitting and held her hand out, showing the ring on her finger. Rachel put her hands over her mouth and then wrapped them around Dahlia’s shoulders congratulating her and then hugging her son, she told him she was so happy for the two of them. Before long everyone wanted to see the symbol of love between the two. There were many congratulations going around the room.



Continuing Story Part 28

No one had anything to be said. All was said through tears and emotions pouring out from

A pink Dahlia

A pink Dahlia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


the inner souls. They all sat for a few moments, then one by one, each stood up and hugged each other and left the funeral home doors.

Ralph placed his arm around Rachel and Dahlia, and led them to the car and opening the doors, and letting them sit, he then went around to his side and got in and they started for home. Breathing could barely be heard and silence filled the inner space of the car. Within moments, it seemed, they arrived at the boarding house. All walked through the front door and went to their own rooms, each consumed in their own private thoughts.

Dahlia laid on her bed and relived the whole process of the funeral. Finding out that her mother and father had loved her after all these years was almost too much to digest in one day. She had placed the envelope under her pillow and soon found herself dreaming of her past life.

In the kitchen, there was glum. This home had turned from a happy laughter filled house to a stale quietness. The news of Drew and his cancer had spread quickly and the funeral added more doom. No one wanted to fix supper, in fact everyone just wanted to let this day pass, and not look back on it.

They each filtered away from the kitchen, no supper made, the table left untouched. Each went to the living room or went out to the porch to sit. The house became so silent, that it woke Ralph up from his nap. He walked out to the porch, and he saw instantly the sad faces. He had to change what was happening here and so he suggested they gather enough food and they all drive to the park a couple of miles away.

This perked up most faces as they also wanted to change the mood of this house. Everyone got up and pitched in. Blankets were placed in the car, jugs were filled with drinks, baskets were filled with foods, and soon everyone was in the car, and Ralph began to sing. He sang songs of inspiration and hope for the future. Soon one by one they joined in the chorus,and frowns were turned into smiles, and sad memories were replaced with the present.

They reached the park, and found a nice place to put the blankets. Food and drinks, plates were all taken out. Everyone joined hands and said a prayer of hope and they clung to each other for support and asked God to be with them in the coming months. They then ate, the conversation being nothing of value, talk about school, and dreams of the end of school coming up and plans that were being made for the wedding.

When they were all done, they cleaned up and some went to the swings, others were throwing frisbees. Laughter emerged and for today, they enjoyed just being in the open air, and being with each others company.

The sun was starting to set, so they gathered everything together and climbed back into the car, and headed home. Most went inside, but Drew, Rachel and Drake sat on the porch. Nothing was said for a time, but then Drake asked Drew how he was feeling and Drew said not bad, but he still had his headache that came and went. Drake continued with he had not had a chance to really speak to Drew about the news that he had received, but he wanted him to know that he had forgiven him, and that he was here for him if Drew needed him. Drew began to weep, hearing these words of forgiveness. He had been carrying this guilt of what he had done for so long and he needed Drake to know that he did not mean for this to happen.

Drake and Dahlia reached for each others hands and held them with Drake asking Drew if he would do the honor of being his best man at their wedding. Drew shook his head no, that he could not be a part of something so sacred, knowing what troubles he had created for the two of them, but Drake went to him and sat down and told him that God was the one healing all that happened, that he wanted and needed his brother to be standing there beside him. Drew looked up into Dahlia’s eyes and saw her smiling and she nodded her head in agreement of Drake. The two of them wanted him there, and Drew asked are you sure, are you certain that this episode can be overlooked, that it will not spoil the goodness of the wedding, and Drake said no, that what would spoil it, was if he said no, he would not be there for him, and then he sobbed again, but softly speaking that yes, he would stand up for him. All three of them stood in a circle and hugged each other, tears being shed for the miracle that God was able to create between the three, and with this, they left the porch and went inside for the evening.

The next morning at church, the service having ended, the minister announced that there was a special meeting, and he would appreciate everyone staying over, and that in the kitchen of the church, refreshments were being set up so that no one went home without eating.

No one was prepared or had heard of this special meeting, so out of curiosity and a follower of the minister, everyone sat back down in their seats. The minister went on to explain that someone had phoned him last evening and had asked if they could come to see him on short notice. The visitor then announced the sad news of Drew’s illness, and that he wanted all today to stand together and hold hands and  pray for Drew, that they place this illness in God’s hands, for God to heal this illness in the way he saw fit.

Eyes turned and looked at Drew, and instantly everyone was on their feet. The minister went to Drew and brought him to the center of the circle, and he and two deacons, laid their hands on Drew, and together the church prayed. After the minister finished, several of the worshipers said specific prayers for Drew and his family, then several moments passed in silence, as this news was sinking into their heads and hearts. When the time was over, almost all of them went to the kitchen, where sandwiches, and chips, and home-made cookies could be found. Juice and coffee were the drink of choice.

They all filled their plates and gathered around the tables with the minister saying grace for this food and then they began to eat and thoughts were voiced to Ralph and Rachel, that if they needed any help or support that they were all there for him.

Drew thought to himself how much easier going through this illness was going to be, now that Drake had forgiven him, and Dahlia also, that the church was supportive. It made the headaches tolerable, and lifted his heart, as he knew he was still loved.

Continuing Story Part 27

The next day came, and with it gloom filled Dahlia’s heart. It was the day of the funeral, a


day where she was going to face her own demons, that she had well hidden for years, so she thought.

She sat on her bed, not wanting to get dressed, but instead, crawling back under her covers, bringing them up over her head and burying herself until the new dawn met her. She knew though, that she needed to go, and how disappointed Rachel and Ralph would be in her by not doing the proper thing.

She got up out of bed and making it behind her, she went to her closet and chose a dress that had no frills or lace on it. Something so drab and plain, just like her thoughts were today. She got dressed in silence, tuning all noises out around her and then took her basket and went across the hall to brush her teeth, splash cold water on her face, and run a comb through her hair. Today, she would not fuss with her hair as she usually did, today, she would leave it down, to show her own personality.

She then followed the common path to the kitchen, and only had toast and orange juice for her breakfast. No one else was in the kitchen today, she thought, but over in the corner on a stool, sat Drew. He was watching her ever so quietly, as she finished her breakfast and got up to pour herself a cup of hot coffee.

When she sat down to enjoy this one moment of the day, she heard a stirring in the kitchen and asked who was in here with her. The voice of Drew came to her and her body became stiff and rigid with fear, and she started to get up and leave, but he asked her to stay seated, that he wanted to talk to her.

His voice sounded soft and her fear let up a little, and she heard him walk over to her and set across from her at the table. He began by apologizing for his past actions with her. He explained that he did not know why he had done this at the time, for he had no interest in her in that way, and he knew that she was promised to another. He went on to explain that now he knew why he had done as he had done, and she needed to know, that he was ill. That he had discovered yesterday, that he had brain cancer. He wanted her to know how truly sorry he was, and he was moving closer to her in his seat, begging for her forgiveness. He needed to know that she forgave him before his time was up on this earth. He could not rest easy until she understood.

Stirrings moved in her heart, and she knew from the tone of his voice that he was sincere. She stood and moved closer to him, and lying her arm over his, she said that although the memories are still fresh in her mind, and she was still struggling at putting it behind her, she understood, and she forgave him. She told him that she was so sorry to hear of this illness and she was willing to lay things to rest between him and her.

He cried, and the sobbing was hard, and he was taking her hands in his and thanking her for being so kind. He told her that she was a nice woman and that Drake was so lucky to have found her, and that he hoped they truly had a good life together. He promised her that nothing like this would ever happen again. With this conversation having nothing more to be added, they both parted the kitchen together.

What Drew had told Dahlia brought comfort to her, and she prayed to her God, that this would soon be a past never to be remembered. She found Rachel and Ralph coming out of their bedroom, and they saw her and asked her if she was ready to go. It was time, and no one wanted to enter late. Dahlia nodded in affirmation, and the three of them left to go the funeral.

Dahlia’s mind drifted to her past,and she thought of her parents and wondered if they had ever loved her. Had they ever wished that this child had never been brought to this earth. How did her mother feel about her on her dying bed. Thoughts drifted in and out as they drove to the church.

Once arriving, Ralph turned the car off, and came over to Dahlia and Rachel’s side and opening the doors for each of them, helped them to get out. The three of them walked into the church, where soft organ music was playing. Dahlia stayed close to Ralph and Rachel as she was not familiar with where she was and didn’t want to collide into anything.

The door greeter met them, and after asking their names, walked them into the main area, where her mother laid. Ralph and Rachel stood by her side as they found themselves standing in front of the open casket. Silence was surrounding them, and Dahlia found it odd, to have her mother not speaking to her. Soon they made their way to their special seats and others had come in and viewed and then had walked over to Dahlia and told her how sorry they were.

Dahlia thought this was never going to end. She didn’t recognize most of the people who had introduced themselves to her, but why would she? She was always left behind to do some type of cleaning. She was not allowed to intervene with her parents.

Soon the minister began to speak, and he was telling of things that Dahlia had never known. He was speaking about what a rough life her mother had when she was a young child herself. The rape that had occurred when she was a teenager, was a terrible incident, but her mother had fought hard to over come this, but never quite made it to total healing. He spoke of the marriage between the two and the child that was born, Dahlia.

He went on to say that he hoped that she felt peace now, and he said that he had spoken to her on her death-bed, letting her know that God had forgiven her of her errors in life. Dahlia sat and listened, not knowing who this person was, that the minster spoke of. This was surely not the mother that she, herself knew.

The service ended, and people shook hands and said their goodbyes and well wishes. When all had left the church, all that remained was Dahlia, Ralph, Rachel, and the minister. There was a stranger standing off to the side, as if he was waiting for approval to move. The minister went to him, and brought him along with her own father, and the two men asked Dahlia to please sit, that there was information that needed to be told.

The entire time of the funeral, her father had never made his presence known to her. She had wondered if he was even here, as even Ralph and Rachel never mentioned seeing him, and now here he was, sitting beside her.

He placed his hand on Dahlia’s hand, and commented on how beautiful she looked all grown up. He said how sorry he was for the bad treatment of his wife, her mother, and even himself. He explained that he was always trying to hide his feelings from the world, knowing he had a wife that lived in hell in her mind from the damages that had been done to her. She had never been able to get passed it, and when you, Dahlia, were born, she loved you so much. I can still see the glow in her eyes, as she held you close to her heart, showing you off to all those who paid a visit, but somewhere in the middle of all of this, nightmares would reappear, and she would hide within herself, sometimes not even speaking to him, her own husband.

Her father went on to say, that he knew of one person in her life that she loved more than even him, and this was Dahlia, but she could not get close to you, as she was so afraid that her fears and depression would enter your soul and destroy your chance of a good life.

Dahlia sat there trying to take in the new picture of who her mother really was. This was not the woman that she had grown up with, and now she was being told that her mother really loved her, so much love she felt, that she stayed away from her. She had practiced hatred so hard she had convinced her own child that she was not worthy of living.

This was a lot to digest, but before she could think farther, the strange man who no one seemed to recognize, brought forth a long envelope and opening Dahlia’s hands, he placed it in her hands, and said that this is from your mother, she wanted you to have this. It is her way of telling you how much she loved you, and also asking for your forgiveness.

Dahlia sat there with the envelope in her hands not knowing or wanting to open it. Was it a letter that she herself could not read?  Perhaps a card with her own apology written inside. Rachel asked her if she would care to open it, since this man had made a point to come here in person to give it to her. Dahlia handed it to Rachel, who handed it back to the stranger, and he opened it, and inside was a letter.

There was a letter stating that her mother hoped she forgave her, and that nothing from her own sadness had ever entered her heart. She wanted to let Dahlia know that she cried every night before she went to sleep over not being able to hug her own daughter, and tell her how much she loved her. The only way she could show this now, was to let her know that in the bank downtown, was key to a special box and inside of it was money that she had been saving every day since her child had been delivered into her arms. The amount of money that her mother had left her, was $50,000.

Dahlia sat in shock, then started to sob heavily. Her mother had loved her, all these years, and had never been able to show it in order to protect this child from the same fears she had carried herself. Tears came to everyone’s eyes, as the story that was poured out, began to make sense, and people were understanding. Her father moved closer and told her that he could not expose his wife’s wishes, and that he had also loved her ever since she was born. He produced from his pocket a big envelope that was filled with pages of a journal he had been keeping for her. His thoughts for her were inside, and as he handed Dahlia the envelope, he said that maybe one day Rachel could read these to her, and as the words left his lips, he broke down and wept, letting her know how much he has always loved her and still does. He explained that he was getting old, and if he could prove to her how important she was to him, then he could be content to die in the old house.

Continuing Story Part 26

The next day at school, went smooth, and Dahlia was able to get all of her homework

English: Line art drawing of a dahlia.

completed in each class. This left her time to meet Drake after school and help him grade papers. She knocked on the door and heard the word enter, and as she went through the door way, he was there to greet her. He took her hands and led her over to the table, where the papers were sitting.

The room filled with senses of love. There was no need to talk as the air was speaking with heavy perfume of love. Each of them took their time grading, as they didn’t want to give up this special time of them being the only two in the room. They were in school rooms, so there was no mention of love, and no exchanges made of any kind.

After there was no more time to be wasted, the two of them, walked out of the room together and out the school doors. They got half way home and Drake grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, where he gently kissed it, grazing her hand with the touch of his lips everywhere he could feel. Emotions stirred inside of Dahlia and she never wanted him to stop. Before any words could be exchanged, he let his lips leave her and grabbed hold of her hand as they walked silently the rest of the way home.

Rachel was standing in the door,  as if she was waiting on them to come home. She raised her hand to Drake signaling him to not let Dahlia enter without Rachel first speaking. The two of them stopped, and Dahlia asked why are we hesitating, is something wrong? Rachel took Dahlia’s hand and guided her to the swing, and Drake followed and they all sat down.

Rachel explained that she had received a phone call today, and that she was so sorry to have to inform Dahlia that her mother had passed away in the early morning of today. Dahlia sat in silence, not even batting an eye lash. All she could think was that the night mare was over. The dreams could be put to rest. There was no one left to use or belittle her ever again.

Rachel told her that the funeral was in two days and that she thought it appropriate, that Dahlia go. Although there had been bad times, and sad memories, and no contact, this was her mother. Dahlia knew she was right, and she did not want to go. She did not want memories brought back to the surface, but she found herself saying yes, that she would of course attend her mother’s burial. Rachel said that she and Ralph would accompany her, and Drake said that he would call the school and find a substitute teacher, that he himself, wanted to be at her side.

With the announcement of her mother, and arrangements being made, the three made their way in through the front doors of their home. Dahlia went to her room and put her ballot shoes on and went to the back yard to practice on her balancing bar. Her mind drifted back into time to the two people that she knew were her parents, but two strangers, that never allowed her to get to know them.

She could remember cleaning and never being quite good enough, fixing meals, and cleaning up after these two strangers, she was made to call mom and dad. She wondered how dad was going to handle having mom gone. Mom had been the leader in the house. She barked the orders and he followed. Did he follow her because he loved her so much, or had habit set in plus old age, and he felt it was better to stay silent  then to cause more grief in his life. She wondered what he would say to her, when he saw her after all these months had gone by. Would he speak to her? She wondered how he looked, although, she had never physically seen him, she had a picture of him in her mind.

Before any more thoughts could be done, the call for supper was heard. She had worked so hard on her dancing that she had lost track of time and had not helped to prepare the meal. She made her way back to the back door and let herself in. It seemed like everyone was in their own world as conversations were minimal, and the atmosphere was stagnant.

The next morning the quietness was even thicker, as everyone knew that Drew was going back to the doctor to get his results. Breakfast was hurriedly fixed and eaten, and everyone was out the door except Drew, Ralph, and Rachel. Drew had told the office yesterday, that he would be out half of the day, and they had found a substitute to fill in the whole day, so he did not have to go in.

Lingering around the house, watching the clock tick by, waiting to go to the appointment, each of them just sat on the furniture in the living room and made useless conversation. Finally, the clocked ticked down and they all got up and let  themselves into the car and took off for the doctor.

The receptionist greeted them with a smile, and said that the doctor was waiting for them in his office. Please go through the door here at the side and go back to the last door on the right. They followed her directions and found themselves knocking on the door and instantly the door was opened, and they were shown to seats that he had provided for the three of them.

He walked around to his big black leather chair behind the desk, and put his wire-rimmed glasses on and opened the chart lying in front of him. He cleared his throat and coughed, and looked up at all three of them, and said, the tests are back, and I am afraid the results are not good news.

The room grew dead in silence and everyone looked at each other, waiting for the words to come out of his mouth. The doctor hesitated a brief moment and then went on to say, that with all the years that had gone by, he had been so happy with all the progress that had been made, and he was still surprised to be sitting here with them discussing old news, but the sad news was that the scan showed brain cancer. There had been a mass found on the back side of his brain, and it was growing so quickly, that it was putting pressure on his skull, causing the headaches Drew was having.

Even sadder was that with the location of the mass, and the speed of its growth, there was no hope in surgery. He had taken the opportunity to telephone a hospital two hours away to talk to a specialist in brain cancers. The two had met and went over the x-rays, and both came to the same conclusion, no surgery.

Rachel started to cry, and Ralph put his arms around his wife to console her. Drew quietly asked how long, and the doctor said if nothing else came about, maybe six months. The doctor got up and came around to the three, and placing his arms around Drew, told him how sorry he was that he had to be the one to deliver this terrible news. He then pulled out of his jacket two prescriptions for pain medications, that may help with the headaches. He also told them that no matter what time of day or night, if any problems arose, please do not hesitate to call them.

The doctor asked them if they had any questions, and I believe that they were all in surface shock and each shook their heads in a no gesture. The doctor then said that they could stay in his office as long as they needed to and when they felt up to it, just to close the door behind them when they left. He said again how sorry he was, and then left them to their own thoughts.

Continuing Story Part 25

Dahlia felt so good inside that the teacher had asked her to be a tutor for a new student.


She wondered who it was and where the child lived. She forgot those thoughts quickly as she was remembering all the positive things that the teacher had said about her.

Once she got home from school, chores were done, and supper preparations were beginning. The other boarders came to her, and they all wanted to hear the news from the horse’s mouth. They had heard through others that there was going to be a wedding.

They stopped what they were doing and all gathered around the table, making Dahlia sit down and spill it all. Dahlia had no problems sharing her news with them, and told them that she and Drake were planning on being married the day after graduation. All the ladies congratulated her in unison, and clapped their hands for her. They all decided that they were going to throw her a bridal shower party, and they couldn’t wait to start the plans.

All through the dinner preparations talk was on nothing else but the wedding and bridal shower. For the evening meal, tonight there was going to be meatloaf, baked potatoes, tossed salad, green beans, and cherry pie for dessert. As they were preparing and setting the table, others came home and soon all were talking about the upcoming wedding. As they all sat down at the table together, holding hands, they said a prayer of thanks, and also thanked God for bringing  these two, Drake and Dahlia, together.

Drew was sitting at the end of the table, and he even partook in the prayers. He glanced at Drake and their eyes locked. No smiles were exchanged but hope was in Drake’s heart that his brother would be healed of his behaviors. Drew lowered his head once again, and said an extra prayer to himself for himself.

Supper over, and the evening held nothing major, so each was doing their own thing. Drake was grading papers in his room, but his mind was wandering, thinking of Dahlia, and Dahlia was in the back yard, practicing harder than ever at the dance bar. Others were on the porch singing, and others were studying their school work.

Ralph and Rachel found Drew on the back porch steps. He was just sitting there looking out over the property. They both sat beside him and explained that the doctor’s appointment was tomorrow after the school day was over, and they would meet him outside the school doors and would accompany him to the doctor. Drew nodded his head up and down, barely getting the word, thank you out. He was struggling with what he had done and he didn’t really feel that well tonight. He just sort of felt achy all over but his head was throbbing. He thanked his parents for their help and excused himself to go to his room and retire for the night. They patted him on the back and said their good nights, and all departed.

The next morning, everyone got up and got ready for school and classes. Drake walked Dahlia to school, and as they stepped outside the front door of their home, he stole a quick kiss and told her he loved her, and that he had thought of her all evening long. She smiled up at his face, and whispered she loved him also.

It was midterm in school and each of Dahlia’s teachers stopped the regular class teachings and went over with the class of how each student was progressing so far. There were some claps and whistles and happy times, as the news was that each student was working very hard and it was showing in their grades. The entire school administration was proud of this years students, as the marks were very high for their academics.  At the end of the school day, there was a small party in the dance gymnasium, with refreshments served, for a reward of their good works.

Drew did not partake of the festivities, but instead found himself walking out alone through  the front doors of the school. As promised his parents were waiting at the curb, ready to drive him to the doctor. No words were exchanged between the three as they drove to the doctor’s office and parked the car and then went in and announced their arrival. In a short time, Drew’s name was called and they all went behind closed doors.

The doctor asked many questions, and wrote all of the answers down. He decided that they needed to run some tests. They would start with a CBC, and then they would run a Cat Scan and see if anything was happening that would show any changes from those years before.

Drew went down the hall to the lab and had his blood drawn, and then went to the Radiology room, and had his scan performed. When all was finished, the doctor came back to them and said it would a few days before the results were in, and that the receptionist would give them a call and set a time for them to come back, and with that, the doctor disappeared, going to see his next patient.

Drew, and his parents got up and made their way out the door and headed for home. Excitement was over flowing in the kitchen as everyone was talking about the party that had been given to them. They decided to celebrate here at home also, by having a pizza party. They made hand-made pizzas with all the works. The pizzas were so heavy laden with goodies, they were hard to get into the oven, but it was done, and soon the aromas were filling the room with yummy smells.

After everyone had stuffed themselves with pizza and sodas, they cleaned up and all went to the porch and sang songs of joy. Ralph played his guitar, and they all sung for a good hour. The skies were being overtaken with clouds, so each got up and made their way into the house, and Ralph went with Rachel to the back yard and helped take clothes off of the clothes line that had been hanging to dry all day. The two of them took this private moment to ponder on the doctors visit. Ralph asked Rachel if she thought everything was going to be alright, and Rachel said she did not know, but she did notice that Drew looked pale tonight at supper. Ralph nodded because he had also noticed too. They decided that prayers would be lifted to God tonight when they retired to their bedroom.


Picture it and Write it, August 26th, 2012














I am writing an exercise writing prompt for Ermilia today.

The watch was showing that time was ticking by quickly. The announcement had been made, the doors had been closed, and now the mind was left in the small room to ponder on how to move forward, after just receiving the deadly news that cancer had made its home in this body.

No one knew of this news yet. It was still being held as a secret in the only mind in the room. Tears were gently sneaking out from the corners of both eyes, falling on to the lap and forming  small spots of sadness. The mind was racing, and deep breaths were being inhaled in and out, as if it was forcing the mind to slow down. Give the sponge a chance to soak in all that had been said.

There was no comfort, only rules of etiquette had been followed. The nurse standing behind the doctor as the words came out of his mouth in monotone. The words that were remembered last were, I am so sorry. Is there someone I can call to come pick you up? I will give you some time with yourself to get your composure back. You can leave the office when you are ready.

The legs did move, and the body did follow, as the hand on the door knob turned it and let the complete body and shadow out of the door, closing it gently behind him. There was no stopping at the receptionist desk, and no appointments to be made. Artificial smiles were seen staring at the eyes, as the body made its way out the front doors.

It opened the car and sat itself in the front seat. All being done out of habit, as having been trained years ago on how to position oneself for driving a vehicle. Instead of placing the key in the ignition, both hands gripped the steering wheel and clung so tightly, the knuckles could be seen turning slowly white, and the finger tips turning a red rose color.

Tears that had been slowly falling, had now been turned into a water fall, and the eyes became blurry from sights in view, like drops of rain falling on a camera lens, and the head fell gently on to the steering wheel. Sobs could be seen outside the window, and anyone walking near, could see pain written all over this soul as it raged in shaking emotions.

After the body had exhausted all tears, and the well was dry, the nose was blown, and they eyes wiped dry. The key was entered into the ignition and the car was started. It didn’t know which way to go, so it sat motionless waiting for direction.

Eventually, taking a deep sigh, the car’s tires started to roll and it made its way out on to the high way. It somehow made its way to the city cemetery and found itself being parked in front of the parents grave sites. The body opened the door and dragged its feet until it came to the exact spot the lifeless shells were resting. Falling to the knees, the body slammed falling to the ground and grabbing hands full of grass, ripping them out by their roots, he cried and screamed to the markers, what did you do when you found out mom and dad that you had cancer? How did you deal with it? What were the emotions that were running through your mind, that you hid from the family? I miss you mom, I miss you dad. I need your help. Tell me what to do…………