What a windy, chilly day. For the next few days we, here in Indiana, will be experiencing some last taste of winter. Frost over night and cooler days in the day hours. Spring has taken a hard road to reach us here in the Midwest, but I believe that it will remain and turn those buds into blossoms and the flowers into those we can smile at.
I had a comment earlier from a dear friend AR. She mentioned something about Moving Towards the Light. It caught and held my attention. Moving towards the light. It rolls smoothly from my tongue.
Each of us, no matter who we are, are moving towards that light or the last days of our lives. It seems that it is miles away for some. For others, it starts to enter our mind as we age. With me turning the big 60 yesterday I thought about it.
Actually, I pondered on it much more when Al was still with me. He cried out so many times that he wanted to go home. To the stranger listening to this, they may have wondered what do you mean go home? You are home.
This is a temporary home we live in. An earth where we make choices. We live good and bad lives. We choose to drink or not, smoke or not, steal or not. So many choices, and some we make without thinking twice.
But when I look back at Al, he knew which home he wanted to go to. He wanted the mansion in the sky. The healing of Jesus, the pain-free body. I have no doubt Al believed in God and I am quite sure he is walking with Jesus right now.
Many times I look up to the heavens and if I am quiet, I can feel his warm smile upon me. I can sometimes hear his voice in my mind letting me know he is just fine, and he is saving that special spot for me.
Without realizing it we move through this dark world struggling to see the light of it. There isn’t really any reason not to enjoy each day we are gifted. There isn’t a valid reason for us to ponder on the what ifs.
I know God is in charge of my life because I asked him to be. If he can provide food for the birds, than certainly he will see that I am always fed. If he can heal the blind or forgive the prostitute then he will care for me. All I have to do is ask him for his help, tell him I love him, trust in him, and enjoy the days he has granted me.
I have a job to do while I breathe this air. I have my own desires and wishes, but God knows the perfect job I must perform. So as I walk and breathe and I inch closer to the light, I promise myself to trust more in God and to walk towards the light with a softer step.
I don’t often speak of God in a topic that is so large. So many points to listen to. Arguments have broken out over this subject matter, but today, I feel compelled. I feel led to speak what is on my mind.
Thanks to Al’s illness I have grown much closer to God than ever. Not to say that it was easy. There were many times I was angry at God. So many questions I would yell out to him. When I get to heaven I will know all the answers; but maybe it won’t be necessary to understand all the details. Maybe once I see Al, I can toss all the whats, and whys and just know by seeing my brother, all is well.
I will continue to walk towards that light and try to live the life that I feel I should live. I bet if I look real close I will see many of you walking on the same path as me, maybe right beside me.