Muscles of the gluteal and posterior femoral regions. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I want to take this moment and share my thoughts and concerns with you.
Yesterday, my son asked me if I wanted to go to Wal-Mart. A way to get out of the house and to get Al’s mind on something other than his pains. I said sure, why not.
We got to the store and the first place we headed was for the big bin of Hot Wheel Toys. In my mind I was smiling, as I see my son and my brother, both adult men, rummaging through each car package. They were like children in a candy store! Their dreams becoming a slight reality as each of them picked out cars that they wished they owned.
Al picked out five cars, and then he decided that there was no better car than a Johnny Lightening car. I have to admit, I had no idea what this was, but I didn’t let on. I said that this was a great idea! I wish I had thought of this myself for him! He just smiled at me and took his scooter over to the boys toy aisle, and began his search. We did find a few of them, and I learned quickly, that they are not only a better looking car, they are also more than eighty-eight cents. These cars were over five dollars each. When I looked into his eyes, and saw the stars shining through, I could not resist telling him he could choose one. In the end he had acquired six new cars. To me it was worth it just to see he had forgotten his pains and he was smiling.
I picked up a flash drive for myself, and my candy I am addicted to, Wintergreen life savors. It may sound disgusting to you, but I love to have one in my mouth, as I am drinking my morning coffee. It does something to the coffee flavor, sometimes I splurge and will have a total of three of them, with my two cups of morning coffee! Try it, you’ll like it! Isn’t that the old common phrase?
After we all had gotten what we came for, we decided to go to the restaurant inside of Wal-Mart, Subway, and grab some lunch. We all walked in that direction, and when we arrived, we all got in line to place our order, except Al.
Al was stuck in his scooter. His leg was frozen, and his knee would not bend. When I glanced back to see if he was getting out of the scooter, I saw his familiar tears running down his cheeks. I left the others in the ordering line and went over to help him get out of his seat. I couldn’t get him out. I tried bending his leg, no good. I tried scooting him to the opposite side, but the steering column was in his way, and there was no moving his body.
I blanked everyone out in the restaurant. I did not care who was looking, or if anyone was talking about this scene anymore. I had finally reached the point in my life, that I had to overlook my emotional drama about what people think anymore. This was about Al, and I needed to be his hero and get him out of this chair!
After much struggling, which probably was only seconds, but seemed minutes, I stood there and tuned everyone out, including Al, and closed my eyes in prayer. Asking God to use his strength through me, and to place a thought inside of my head, on how to complete this task.
It was like feeling a miracle happening, not seeing, but actually feeling it. I had Al’s leg in my hand, and it had felt like a block of cement until now. His leg became instantly putty. I was able to bend it with little effort, and I was able to place it in the perfect position, where it came right out. God wiped his tears away, and we were able to make our way, the two of us, over to the ordering line. All of us ordered, and our lunch continued as if we had never encountered a problem. Thank you God.
Last evening I suggested to Al that we go give him his shower. It took him quite a few seconds to be able to rise out of the chair, but he did it himself. As we walked through the house, I noticed that his leg was reminding me of a pirate’s leg. It was stiff as a board, not wanting to bend at the knee. He was without trying to , throwing his leg somewhat to the outer side of his body as he walked.
He cried once again. He is so frustrated with his life. I know I sound like a broken record here, but this is what he feels every day. Frustrations, a sense of declining in his body, the pains in his legs.
I cry out so many times to God, to please help him. I remember once a few years back that someone had told me, that I only needed to pray once for what it was I thought I needed. If I prayed more than once, than I was showing God, that I didn’t trust that he heard me, or I was being too impatient, not waiting for his perfect moment. Whether there is truth in this statement or not, I do not know for sure, but I do know, that today, I need God to hear my prayers. Prayers asking for help in Al’s healing, removing his pains and emotional sufferings. I will and do pray many times a day for Al. It feels right to me, and it is comforting to me, as I know the only true miracle worker is God. This alone brings me comfort.
Today, is a brand new day. Al is not up yet, but I have already ask God to help us through this day. I know that this is all due to the Parkinson’s. I have read the writings on this terrible disease. I know the toll it is taking on his body, and what lies ahead for the two of us, but I don’t deal with it well, the final results of this chapter in our lives.
May today God will be looking down on Al, soothing him, comforting him, as not even I can comfort enough. May I see peace in one smile or a twinkle from his eyes. It is Sunday God, a day of rest. Let Al have rest today.