Tag Archives: choices

Born Free

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I Am Free

Free to be who I want

Free to go where I go

No one can stop me

From being who I am

You can disagree

But we can agree

That I am me

And you are you

Please don’t even try

To change me

Respect me and I

Will do the same for you

No more slavery

No more chains

Free to ride the waves

Of life to walk

The pebbles on the beach

Free to breathe fresh air

Free to be me

What a fantastic feeling.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

11/11/2013

 

waves

Life Is What We Make It

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It brought me so much comfort late last night. I was able to talk to my daughter, in fact we spoke two nights in a row. It amazes me how when life looks so glum, when my chin hangs so low, when  I look real hard, I can always see a beam of light shining from some where.

The idea is to keep looking up. Pick myself off the floor and look for that ray of sunshine.Beautiful-UK-weather-_t2fe I have learned in the last week or so that I am going to be a Grandma now twice again. The latest news came yesterday. One will be due in July and the other in March. As I sat here taking in the news I saw a vision of one door closing on life and two new doors opening.

Allowing warmth and smiles to radiate. I guess this is how life actually works. We are born. We grow and we do what we do in life and then God decides to take us home.

It has been so very hard to listen to Al tell me the past two days that he is giving up. Where is the fight that I generally have seen? It seems to be gone and yet there is always a small part of me that believes this is just bad days we are going through. We are in the valley and once again we will be on the mountain top praising the heavens for one more chance.

But sometimes this doesn’t happen. When God says our job is complete, it is complete. There is no bargaining.

And so the void in my life and heart will be replaced by two little innocent babes, looking for their own mark in the world. Various people they will interact with during their walk will influence and help to mold them.

I can only hope as their Grandma that they make right choices and live a good life. This world has much to offer, but you have to find the needle in the hay stack.needle It’s there, it’s always been there. It is just a little more difficult today to see it.

I have to smile to myself as new life once again takes its place among the many steps that have been walked before.

To watch the development of independent decisions grow and fester until the cocoon burst and a beautiful butterfly appears.

Yes life is magnificent. Even through the sorrowful times of illness and death, new life and wonderful opportunities are waiting for us to dive into. It is only up to us to decide to take the chance, the risk of exploring.

We can look down on life. We can ponder and talk about the terrible rocks we have stumbled over. Or we can look at these pebbles as stepping-stones, of learning and growth. We have a life to live and we have a time to die. Where are you at in this cycle? I know that some days I am in the middle, and I have days where I am looking down, my chin hanging, but I keep trying, for God is good, life is exciting, and adventure is ours.

Daily Prompt;Just a Dream/The Daily Post

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You’re having a nightmare, and have to choose between three doors. Pick one,

Gold Glitter

and tell us about what you find on the other side.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com

I will pick door number two, because in my mind it is in the middle. It can’t be too bad or too good to be true.

What I found on the other side was magnificent. Beautiful trees with shimmery golden leaves. A blue sky that went on forever and ever; not even a puff of a cloud in my view.The sun was brighter than anything I have ever seen. It sparkled more than the biggest diamond.

A long brick path leading down a long narrow lane. It split off at the end and once again I was able to choose which of the three paths I would take. The bricks were as new, never having had a footprint on it. Not a sliver or blade of grass grew in between the cracks.

I walked the path, feeling like I should walk in bare feet to not leave specks of dirt to follow me. I could smell the dirt around me. It smelled so fresh, like it had just been placed. It was so dark like a strong cup of coffee. It smelled like it had been freshly watered.

Rustling of leaves made music to walk to. Branches bending down welcoming me on my trip. Birds of many colors flew near and above me. Whispering sweet words of hellos and welcomes.

I reached the end of the road and I chose door number one. A new beginning, a promise of hope, new sights. Number one always represents the first. The first of everything to come my way.

As I entered the big golden oak door, my eyes popped, and tears raced down my face. I had made the right choice. A sight awaited for me, hands reaching out to welcome me, gathering around me, heart to hearts were being shared.

Every void that I have suffered the past 12 years were replaced and made whole. As each soul touched me another hole was filled. When I looked down at myself, it was as if I was brand new and had never been branded with pain.

I saw my dear Mother, who was the first to come greet me. As I looked into her green eyes, glittery tears reflected into my heart. She loved me, she had always loved me. All the guilt I had carried all my life about the way I had treated her had vanished.

Behind her, coming out of the shadow was my daddy. I fell on bended knees and wept like a new-born baby. My daddy, the hero of my life. I stood up and raced into his open arms and gave him the biggest bear hug I could muster. I heard him whisper in my ear,” I am sorry my daughter. I should have been more open. I should have told you that I loved you. I was shy and didn’t know how to reach out”.

“Oh daddy, I always knew you loved me. You may not have said it, but I always felt it”. We hugged and the clock quit ticking as the two of us healed. We drew apart and the three of us formed a small circle. We took each others hands and held tight. We would never disappear from one another again.

In the background, I saw familiar faces. I smiled and was greeted with loving faces of my grandparents, aunts and uncles. I turned towards the door and I saw it being nudged to open, but it would not. I let go of my parents hands and gently walked up to the big oak door, trying to peek into the peep-hole.

I wept once again as I saw my dear brother standing on the other side. He was calling my name. He was kicking and crying and knocking on the door. I could hear him telling me, ” Please let me in sis. Don’t  leave me out here all alone”.

I said to him,” I hear you Al, I hear you calling my name. I love you brother with all of my heart. I am here with mom and dad and grandma and grandpa. They are waving hello to you brother”. The noise stopped as he leaned his ear close to the wood and strained to hear every word I said. He said, ” Please let me in. I am afraid. I don’t want to be here without you”. With this I replied, ” I can not do as you wish for this one time. God is whispering in my ear, that it is not your time. Go back dear brother. Be brave, hold your chin up high. You will be alright. I am watching over you. The good news is you just have to wait a little while longer, and then we shall all be together, a family again”. As I looked through the peep-hole, I saw him lower his head and walk slowly a way. My heart ached  as I always wanted to give him what he wished for. I said to myself, it won’t be long baby brother, it won’t be long.

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Needs Or Wants

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Cover of "Kindle Wireless Reading Device,...

Cover via Amazon

I am doing laundry and considering washing a couple of windows, inside and out. While I am debating on what to do next, I have been watching the commercials on the television. I realize that you can buy anything your heart desires for the right price. Do you need a new figure? You can buy a Weight Watchers diet plan. You can buy the special foods with the points numbered on them, and you can even pay to go weigh in public with others. Do you not like your face, your eyes, nose or chin? You can pay for an alteration, even splurging for a look where people would not recognize you immediately. Do you have those ugly spider veins? You can pay someone to take the streaks away, leaving you with beautiful legs. Are you and your partner not compatible in the bedroom? You can buy another human body for an hour to give you what you think you lack at home. Do the shoe commercials tell you that your feet would look more beautiful if you wore their brand of shoes? How many pairs of shoes are already in your closet, also guaranteed to make you more beautiful than you already are in God’s eyes. Did God not give you the perfect breast size? You can purchase new ones if you want. How about the body that God hath made? It is remarkable that you can now pay top dollars and have your gender changed. Can a commercial convince you that your car that is running fine, and only five years old, that you must have a faster, safer, more exotic car  to be able to fit in to this world? That you will get more dates, more looks, and more envious eyes turning your way? Don’t like carrying around your favorite paper back book? You can buy a Kindle and take this with you everywhere. You can purchase a certificate for anything you want to be today. I can remember when training was offered for free at a job, along with a weekly pay check. Remember, going into your grandma’s garden and picking that warm, plump  tomato off of the vine? Enjoying the flavor of it as you bite into it and the juices run down your arm? The watermelon? Dad would go to the garden patch and pick out one of many, cut if from the vine, and you had it for supper that night? Now you can pay a high price for organic, the same food you ate from the garden in earlier days. Now you can pay high prices, thanking the production companies, by filling their pockets, for not putting that cancer chemical in your foods. My father mowed our yard with a hand push mower, that had blades and a frame and handle. Now you can purchase gas, electric, self-propelled mowers, that almost do the guiding and work for you. Just know your budget and they can fulfill your dream. You can pay money to go to a club and walk an indoor track, or use an indoor, heated pool. When I was young, I walked as a way to get from point A to point B. I swam in the lakes, in the summer, where the natural sun heated the water, and I could go as many times as I wished all summer long for free. You can now purchase under garments that add lift to your bottom, or extra lift to your breast. Have a tummy that pokes out? You can buy an all in one, to keep it all hidden and under control. I could always listen to the radio at home on my very own portable radio, or I could choose to go out into the living room and watch the family television, all three channels. Now you can purchase many stations, premiums for kids, teens, and adults, any sports channel you can imagine, and you can watch these on any numerous televisions through out your house. You can purchase tiny electronics, that you can place ear buds in your ears, purchase and download the music, and have your very own juke box with you at all times. Need to take your computer with you? You can buy a laptop, and all the accessories, now making the internet available to you 24 hours a day.  When mom or dad called your name and you were so excited because someone was calling for you, now you can carry a cell phone, and pay top dollar in order to never miss a call. You can even purchase electronics that allow you to see the other person you are talking to. My parents each had two jobs in their lives. The one they started in their teen years, and the one they ended up retiring from. Now you can choose any job, switch at any time because there are no longer the securities built-in to the paycheck that give you the incentive to remain with one company. You can even buy your own retirement, and this is probably a good purchase, because if you don’t, you may retire in the poor house. Remember the wonderful health insurance you had when you worked full-time? Now you can purchase your own coverage, picking and choosing what you think you may need. This used to be  free, remember? Our world is in debt to a dollar amount that we can barely speak. Jobs are hard to find, if you are looking for security. God has promised to  give us all that we need in our lives, if we promise to love and follow him. How much do we pay yearly, to hear that we need more to be more. Is there a difference between wants and needs? Should we pay a higher price to keep the cancer chemicals out of our bodies, because the supply and demand is so huge with the fact that we want it all now? I am not saying that advancements in life are bad. We do need some in order to keep up with the future, but do you think the media, the television, magazine ads, books are promoting our minds to spend more on wants than needs. The clever pictures, words, and sexual innuendos that are used to sell us, are done so craftily, that we do not even realize what is happening. I find myself in these positions at times also. I am guilty for sure. When I see this happening, when I hear I want, I want, coming out of my mouth, I have to stop, and take a breath, and think, do I need this or do I want this. Just my opinions friends. No pointing  any fingers from me. We each live our own lives the way we see fit. Remember the phrase, stop and smell the roses? This is what I need to work on daily, because I can find my mind swirling and making me dizzy.