My God, my God
Please help
With all you can
Let me lean on you
As I am so very tired
Please God please
Let someone hear
My call for help
With Al
Last night the
Tremors were awful
We were both up
Until six this morning
And two hours
Later I am feeding him
I can’t do this alone
Already I am
Hearing I can’t eat
This breakfast
I am not hungry
And I turn to look
As his hands are
Beating the table
As the tremors
Move for ever more.
Here I sit at my computer
Tears falling from my eyes
Playing every song
That speaks of God
In hopes he hears
Al’s and my cries
Written by,
Terry Shepherd
QUOTES
FOR I HAVE HEARD IT MANY TIMES BEFORE, BUT LET ME NOW BELIEVE THAT I CAN DO NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL…
I changed my mind, as when I had accepted the last award today, I was writing no more, today,but I am sitting here in awe. Yes, I think my mouth is actually dropped and open, and it isn’t taking any food in.
I just watched Joyce Meyers, and I swear she knew me. It was like she had somehow received a letter from me or someone close that knows me because the entire message was for me!
I am sitting here with jaw dropped because, she made it very clear that I am beautiful, that God made me beautiful and in his own image, and that I am just what he wants me to be.
Now, I have gone through here stating to all of you that I have lost myself, and this is what she has talked about. Being a people pleaser, forgetting who I am, trying to do for others. She didn’t say I could not do for others, she stated that I am doing TOO much for others.
How can a three-letter word,too, be so darn important? Ask me, I know, I am that person. I have lost myself, and am trying to find out who I am, and who God says I am. I know that I am a caregiver for my brother, and I know I love to write, but other than that, I have no idea. I bet you all know more about me than I do about my own self.
I am going to have to ask god tonight to show me who it is that he hath made. What is special about me. What is it that he liked about me when he made this creature that sits here in front of my screen sometimes laughing, sometimes crying and sometimes questioning life.
She made me realize that God is crying because he knows I am crying and that I am not happy. I don’t think it is all about Al either, but he does have a huge part in it, because I ALLOWED him to over take my life.
So, I have work to do, lots of work. I need to kick this slight depression in the ass and toss it out the door! I am a child of God, and he loves me! Why did it take her lesson to get me to see it? I don’t know. I almost missed the show, and then I was mentally kicked in the rear, turn it on!!!!!!
I am glad I did, and now to start finding out about what I am all about. I don’t have any idea why I am even asking this, but I felt the need to, please, help me find me again through prayer. I know there is something else about me that is worthy besides being a caregiver.
This blog page is sort of sad, but yet I am a little happier, because, I can, with your help and God’s help, quit trying to please parents who no longer are living, I can quit trying to please my children, who will always love me in the end, I hope. I can start to relax, and enjoy this life that God has given me, instead of stressing out each moment, wondering if I am doing enough.
Geesh, I love God and Joyce Meyers……………..
God, the Father watches us all everywhere. (Photo credit: angelofsweetbitter2009)
I want to rid my world of pain
And throw it to the seas
I want to go back to childhood
And be all that was naturally me.
I don’t want to carry any extra loads
It tends to weigh me down
I want to run and skip around
Hearing songs are the only sounds.
We are not promised easy lives
There are challenges every day
We can pile these upon our back
Or choose to follow God’s way.
We can not live each others lives
We can not force our ways
I have to accept that God is in charge
All we be settled on Judgement Day.
I feel that I have always followed God
But have tried to do things my way
Now today I go on bended knee
And renew my faith with thee.
I will look to God for more guidance
I will listen for his voice to speak
I will pray for others that are hurting
I will visit with those who seek.
If I practice all that I have said
And continue to love and care
I will not have the time nor place
To be the target for others to share.
Who I am 