Tag Archives: comprehension

Daily Prompt; I Got Skills/The Daily Prompt

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Cropped screenshot of Lorne Greene from the te...

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If you could choose to be a master (or mistress) of any skill in the world, which skill would you pick?

The most important thing I could do for myself right now is understand language. Body language. If I could read your eyes, recognize hand gestures I would be a better person.

So many times there are disagreements among friends and families that are minor misunderstandings. We hear and we see but we do not understand. The first thing we tend to do when we have been hurt is to get that big defense wall out of our back pocket.

We place it in front of us hoping to guarantee that we will not be hurt once again. We have no prepared speech so words come out of our mouths as sometimes jumbled making no sense at all. Only forcing the wall to rise higher.

If we are talking over the phone we have nothing to help us understand. We hone in on tones. We build our own cases quickly, swaying a way from the words being spoken to us. Sometimes we hear enough to get an idea of what the real pin-point topic is, but our mind is racing to the words we want to say in our defense.

If we are facing each other we may have our hands on our waists. My daughter says that my eyes bug out when I get mad. If I could pull myself a way from the discussion long enough, I would like to see that expression I throw off. I would probably be shocked at how ugly I look at the moment.

Some of us stand with our arms crossed and maybe our feet spread at shoulders width. Are we preparing to draw on the other person? Do we have a hidden weapon hiding? Are we like the characters in Bonanza?

Sometimes the biggest disagreements are based on none other than silence. While there is no conversation our brains are having the biggest talk of all. We can envision so many things that probably are not there in the beginning. Silence can build as big of case as we saw years back with O.J. Simpson.

By the time the face to face or the phone conversation does happen, we have already built the case, found them guilty, and performed the punishment. I personally wish that when something is said that another soul takes in the wrong way or some feelings are hurt, we would voice it immediately.

I believe if silence and space could be wrapped up in foil and tossed in the trash, many small disputes would disintegrate so quickly. Hugs and smiles would return quickly. Life would move on.

We that are older in age were taught more often than not to keep our feelings to ourselves. We learned that the proper thing was to be mature. Let the edge of that knife slide back into its proper container and go on with our life.

I like that as we as modern hip people of today do speak up. We do let our feelings be heard. But, I believe that even though this is a good thing, there is still a better way to handle it in a  delicate way.

Getting the knife out, or shooting someone, or name calling is not really the way to go. Some times we carry our defense wall mid way around us at all times. This allows us to pounce at a moments notice.

We love to point fingers. He said, she said are the rave today. When is the last time we pointed that big finger in our own face? It can’t possibly be everyone else on the planet that is the bad guy. Maybe we should look at our own reflection in the mirror.

In the end, if I could read your signals, understand your tones, put the missing pieces of the puzzle together from the words you are not actually saying, I could prevent a lot of uneeded pain. The world would be a better place to live in. We would not have to be afraid to be ourselves. We would feel more loved and accepted.

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I Asked, And He Answered

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Today was the day that I went and picked up Al to take him to our favorite restaurant. I got

Close up image of Cradle cap

Close up image of Cradle cap (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

there on time, and he was dressed in his coat and hat and all ready to go, but something seemed different.

I thought that the main reason he wanted to go to the nursing home, was different from my reasons, he wanted to socialize. Every time I go there, he is not socializing. I can’t put my finger on it, but something is not the same.

I know, it takes time as you all tell me, and this is an adjustment period, but I saw things today that made me quite upset, and I did say something when I took him back. When we got to the restaurant he could not take his own jacket off, and when I questioned him about simple things he cried and I could tell he was confused or didn’t understand things.

He told me he was getting prunes for his snack, so I simply asked  what else to go along with them, and he said nothing. I asked him if he asked for anything else and he said no. He didn’t know he was supposed to ask.

His fingernails were awful. They were black and I could tell by some colors under his nails, that he has been doing some digging too. Here we were at the restaurant, and I could barely eat, looking at his nails, or I would have been ill.

I asked him about activities he had been doing, and he said therapy. I asked what else, and he said nothing. I asked him if he told anyone that he wanted to be involved with activities, and he said no, he didn’t know what activities there were.

He explained to me that his vision is blurry again, that he can not see. I told him I didn’t know what to think, as we had just picked up brand new glasses for him two weeks ago. He said he didn’t know.

Everything was I don’t know and tears. There was more confusion today than I had ever seen before. I am going to give it up to PD, that this is the reason. I dropped the questions when our food arrived, and we ate. He ate good but could barely got the glass to his mouth, his tremors were so bad. I could see that he is definitely getting weaker in strength.

In the car on the way to the restaurant, his tremors were so bad, it made me dizzy watching him. I am not sure if this is the progression of PD or what. He ate a breaded cheeseburger, fries, a diet cherry cola, and a piece of sugar cream pie, so he has a good appetite!

After we were finished, I searched through the store for snacks for him to take back. I had taken him snacks that were left over from here at home, when he was placed, and he was sure to let me know he was running low. I can’t figure out if he is eating the snacks during the day, or at bedtime, and this is why he is not being offered snacks or what is going on.

He told me that the nurse told him to take his money and buy himself a shelf for the wall. He started crying because he said that the nurse should know he doesn’t have any money. See where his comprehension is coming in? I explained that the nurse thought if she told him that he needed the shelf then he would tell his sister, and she could go get him a shelf, which I did.

After lunch, and getting the shelf, I asked him where else he would like to go, and he said no where, he was ready to go back. I asked him again, saying anywhere you want to go, let’s go, while it is nice outside, but he still said no, so I took him back.

Once back he was content to sit in his recliner. I  had brought him some goodies so he and I opened them. He could not open anything by himself, his fingers were too weak, so I opened and he watched. I had gotten him something that he had wanted so bad, the merry-go-round that you see at Christmas time. It plays music and lights up. I just knew he was going to be so excited, but all I got was a half-smile.

After we opened everything and I discarded the empty boxes, I placed things within his hand’s reach, and told him I was going to go speak to the nurse. He didn’t say anything, so I went out of his room for a bit. I found his nurse, and for the second time, I explained about the filthy nails, and that they needed to be cleaned every single day, and hopefully this time, I said it plain enough. I explained to her about his cradle cap all over his face and in his hair again. I explained  when I brought him in there, about the terrible cradle cap due from the PD and that his head needed to be oiled each day and lotion needed to be applied to his face each day. I said all the work I had done is now gone, because it is all back.

I explained with a smile, that I was not trying to be a pain in the butt, but, if they didn’t do as I requested, his face was going to be a mess and he was going to start digging and scratching like he did at home and he would be a bloody mess.

She listened and she made notes, so hopefully this will be taken care of. I explained for the second time that Al won’t ask for anything, and then showed her the list of things that he wished for, and she said he needs to speak up. I said that I agreed with her, but he will not speak up. He is mentally challenged, and doesn’t get the picture, ask and receive. Once again, more notes. Hopefully through time, this will all be taken care of. I just don’t want him to suffer for things that a minute can fix.

Al is a complicated person. He has trouble with comprehension, and understanding, but in other ways he is very brilliant. He is crafty in some ways, and very innocent in other ways. He made the mistake of letting me know that he had money in his wallet. I asked him how did he get money?

He explained he goes down to the little lady at the front desk and tells her he wants money so he can buy a soda or snack, but then he doesn’t buy it, he clings to his money. So he had done this each day and now had a nice little pile in his wallet.

I explained to him for the third time that he can not carry money, that something could happen to it, and if it did, the facility will not make it reappear in his wallet. I am sorry, but inside, I was laughing a little, because he just amazes me at how he thought up this idea to have money once again. On the other hand, I feel bad for him, because he has carried money all through his adult life, and now the facility says no, you may not.

I told the nurse what had happened, and they walked him down to the front desk lady and had him put the money back into his account. He got upset with them instead of me this time, which was a nice change, so I don’t know what his next creative idea will be.

It was a good day, and I may seem a little picky, but I keep my ears and eyes open, and I do ask questions, because Al is going to answer me much better than any staff volunteering answers.

Now, I am home and have taken Polly outside, then brought her inside, and she peed again on the carpet. It stresses me out, I am sorry. My mind is not healed from all of the daily issues from Al, and here, I have a pup, who is the cutest thing, but I am too stressed yet to enjoy her. Walking on my feet and on my heels, whimpering if she doesn’t get held every second is driving me up the wall. I love her, but for heaven’s sake, give me some breathing space! Part of me just wants to sleep and drown out everything around me that I think of all the time.

Something has to give, but I am not sure what it is. Thanksgiving is next week, and although it looks like it is going to be a small dinner gathering, I have not even went to the store yet. I just don’t want to. I have to change my train of thought!
 

 

 

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Advice Hour

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Français : Une cannette de Coca-Cola italienne...

I can’t seem to lick this problem, so once again, I am coming to you for advice. You have Al

English: Vintage cars from Scottish Extravagan...

who is mentally 10 years old, and physically 57 years old. You also have a stubborn man who is angry when he can not do things for himself, like he used to due to the Parkinson’s Disease.

Now take one regular size bedroom and in this room is his bed, bedside table, recliner, commode, another end table, television shelf stand, and one dresser. On everything that is able to hold anything coca cola and vintage cars sit. Every nook and corner on the floor, closet clothes are being forced to move closer and closer due to his collectibles being stored.

Now that you have pictured this room, the icing on the cake is, the nurses thinks he needs a bigger path to walk in, because he has his walker in his room, and he is considered a high risk fall person. You have me who has used the cars as a bribe in order for me to get to run to Wal-Mart, plus I have a tendency to have spoiled him this year, because of his advanced stages of his illness.

We have a storage shed outside also, that I have packed some of his collectibles up in bags and taken them out there, but they are being squeezed in between shed stored items. He has been telling therapists that I won’t let him have any cars for a while, and he is agitated at me for not letting him get them.

How do I get out of this mess? How do I keep him happy, the nurse happy, and Al safe when walking? I have asked Al if he would consider selling any of his items, in order to make room for new cars,and his answers for years have always been no, these are his!!, and we already have placed shelves up to help too.

The problem is that Al’s mentality only sees that he likes these cars and he wants them, pretty black and white for him. Sometimes I get confused with his mentality, not being sure if this is a throwing fit game, in order to get his own way, or if his mentality is actually not letting  him feel the reasoning that I am explaining to him. I also get concerned, because Al throws fits like an adult and not like a ten year old. I do see this comprehension as a growing problem with Parkinson’s, but I still need to get this issue fixed. It is driving me crazy, him being upset and  crying and me overly explaining. Ideas for me?

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